The magic of Gratitude.

Gratitude is a magical and powerful way of attracting good things into your life. If you show love, you will attract love. Notice the key word? “Show.” That’s the key word. It is not just meaningless words … it is meaningful action. Live what you say … don’t just vocalise it like a parrot. Express gratitude with your actions. Ever heard the saying, “action speaks louder than words?” This is critically important for the expression of gratitude. Show gratitude through your actions, rather than mouthing superficial and meaningless words. It is good to adopt a habit of saying thank you as many times as possible every day … but if you want to see real magic, your actions should express the same gratitude to the Universe.

At the end of 2015, I was subjected to a severely traumatic event when my little boy was ripped from my life. One day, we were happily together … the next, he was gone. No, he did not die … he is very much alive. You can follow that story in my blogs related to that horror story. The point is, that my life crashed into small pieces when my son was so brutally ripped away from me. For a period of four months, I could not work. I could not function in any way. I just breathed … although every breath felt like torture.

After four months of living in a zombie-like state, I realised that I had to take control of the situation. At that stage, the situation was controlling me. I was sinking into total destruction very quickly. Everything was falling apart around me, because I could not function normally. That’s when I decided to accept what has happened and to address it in a constructive and positive manner. I realised that I could only be victorious if I used the negative situation productively to better myself in every way.

That’s what I did.

It was then that I began to employ the magic of gratitude and positive living. Instead of distressing and being drawn into negativity, I adopted a positive and grateful attitude. I chose to view the horror events in a positive manner. Instead of asking why, I began to express gratitude for what had happened. I adopted the positive mindset that everything in life happens for a reason. The Universe had orchestrated the situation to force me to better myself in every way. This horror story was going to force me to move to the next level. I chose to believe that the events happened to ensure that everything would work out for the best for my son and I.

I no longer saw myself as a victim. I saw myself as a person being given the opportunity to better himself in every way.

I expressed gratitude, because I realised the situation was going to push me out of my comfort zone and force me to become powerful and accomplished. I felt motivated to become very successful, instead of allowing the situation to completely destroy me. I understood then how the negative situation was offering me an abundance of opportunities to better myself in every way. That was when I began to express gratitude by taking daily steps to better myself in every way … to achieve the things I had been dreaming of. My actions were expressing my gratitude to the Universe. I did also say thank you many times a day … but the gratitude I expressed through my actions was a million times more powerful than verbal gratitude.

The more I gave myself over to expressing gratitude, the more I understood that merely expressing gratitude, without feeling positive emotions … and without backing the gratitude up with my daily actions and rituals, was useless. I learnt that simply expressing gratitude in a superficial manner, was a meaningless waste of time. What I discovered was that expressing gratitude verbally was one thing. Actually showing gratitude was quite another thing. Verbally expressing gratitude is a very good thing, dont get me wrong. It is a bit superficial, though. The magic only happens when gratitude is shown and expressed with actions, habits and behaviour.

Allow me to explain.

If you express gratitude that you are alive and are thankful for the body you have been given, you are already on the right path. However, if the only thing you do is say thank you … but do not support the verbal gratitude with physical expression of gratitude, you are – sadly – not tapping into the magic of gratitude. I see this a lot. People say they are grateful to be alive, but then they drink or smoke. They do drugs. They are obese and unhealthy. With physical action like that, you are actually telling the Universe that you do not appreciate the life you have been given. You do not appreciate the body you live in. You are showing disrespect and are abusing your body. Your behaviour and actions are clearly sending the message to the Universe that you are not grateful for the life you have been given. You are thus sending mixed signals to the Universe. Your actions are cancelling the words of gratitude you have spoken. The most powerful signal is your behaviour or your physical expression of gratitude.

Your physical expression of gratitude then actually supports exactly the opposite of what your mouth is saying.

This is where you draw negativity into your life.

Your actions are negative and destructive, despite what you are saying. It is then exactly what you are telling the Universe you want more of. Please give me negativity. Let bad things happen to me, please. Let me live a sub-standard life, please. Please give me cancer. Please give me diabetes. You get what you put out into the Universe. You have ordered your circumstances … pure and simple.

See how gratitude really works?

Your habits, actions and behaviour have to line up with what you are grateful for.

The way to do it, is to be grateful for the life you have been given by expressing the gratitude in a physical manner. Lead a healthy lifestyle. Only consume healthy foods. Be fit and active. Build up your immune system. Now you will be sending the correct messages to the Universe. Now you will begin to see the magic of gratitude. You are being honest and real with the Universe by displaying gratitude through your actions. By doing so, you have now unlocked the power and magic of gratitude.

What is the use of being grateful you are alive and then go out and speed? Or text while you drive. Or drink and drive. All you are then telling the Universe, is that you want to die or be injured. You are also telling the Universe that you do not respect other life forms, i.e. innocent people and animals. You are indirectly putting yourself in a position where you can kill people or animals. You are sending out negative messages to the Universe. You are telling the Universe that you like danger, injuries and death. That’s what you will be given. You have asked for it by indulging in it … thus expressing gratitude for those negative things. Sooner or later it will be given to you. Your actions speaks louder than your words. Actions are the stronger expression of your gratitude.

Whatever you are indulging in, you are actually telling the Universe you want more of.

It is an expression of gratitude.

Simple.

I appreciate my partner, you say? Do you display gratitude towards your partner by being loyal and faithful towards him / her? If you flirt or your eyes wander, you are telling the Universe you want someone else … you appreciate someone else. Your relationship will perish or will be rocky, full stop. You might not understand why, but this will be one of the key reasons. You constantly get irritated by your partner? Fight with him/her a lot?

Stop!

The message to the Universe is, I am not grateful for this person. You will lose that person. You will drift apart. You will be unhappy. It might take years, but it will happen. Be careful what signals you are sending to the Universe. Your gratitude can be positive or negative. If you fight a lot with your partner, you are telling the Universe that you are grateful for animosity and drama … and poof, there are some more for you, says the Universe. That is after all what you appreciate in life, otherwise you would not indulge in it. If you really appreciate your partner, you will express your gratitude by always being loving, respectful and understanding of him/her.

If you know your partner irritates you and brings out the worst in you. If you are miserably unhappy in your relationship. Yet, you still chose to stay in that relationship … your actions are simply expressing gratitude for suffering, pain and unhappiness. You allow and indulge in sadness, fighting and arguments. That’s what you will get more of. You are grateful for it, by indulging in it – thus showing gratitude for it – so, you will get much more of the same.

Grow a pair and get out of the relationship, if you truly want something better.

Sleep in your car if you have to. Just do it.

Do you want to keep something or achieve something? Then show constant gratitude towards that cause. Do you want a better house? First appreciate and show gratitude towards your current residence … even if you currently only live in a room. Appreciate it. Be grateful for it. It might not be what you ideally want, but be grateful for what you have. Like magic, you will get a better house or better circumstances. If you complain about the one you have … if you feel unhappy about what you have … you will never get a better house or better circumstances.

Gratitude will magically transform your life, if you learn how to physically express it.

You want more work? More projects? First appreciate the work or projects you currently have. Appreciate each and every project by expressing gratitude in the form of doing that job or project passionately and thoroughly. As if by magic, you will draw in more and better projects or work.

Even during the worst times in your life, you will have to learn to express gratitude for whatever is given to you. However little it is, express sincere gratitude with your actions, emotions and attitude. If you do that, you will get more and better of the things you are grateful for.

It really is like magic.

If you are grateful for each cent you have, the Universe will give you more money. The point is, the Universe will give you more of whatever you are grateful for. This applies to every facet of your life, be it money, love, happiness, health, friends … or whatever.

If you make a habit of complaining about things, the message to the Universe is that you appreciate conflict, discontent and unhappiness. You are actually expressing gratitude for conflict and unhappiness by indulging in it. Guess what? Your wish is my command. Conflict and unhappiness will come your way, guaranteed. It will follow you around, because that’s what you expressed gratitude for through your behaviour.

Most people believe that expressing gratitude is primarily a verbal thing. Far from it. Expressing gratitude, involves three actions:

  1. Verbally expressing gratitude … but not like a parrot.
  2. Truly feeling grateful … deep, real and raw … no superficial pretence.
  3. Expressing gratitude by your daily actions, habits and behaviour. This is where the power of gratitude is … the physical expression. This is where the magic happens. This is where the shit gets real. Sorry, I find it amuzing to let out the gangsta in me at times.

Do you want to drive a luxury car? First show sincere gratitude for the car you currently have. Cherish it and truly feel grateful that you have a car. Wash it … polish it … don’t litter in it. Drive it with respect. Say thank you to your car, each time it takes you from Point A to Point B. It could have died on you … it didn’t … express gratitude for that. Tap the car on the hood, say thank you and feel real gratitude for it. At some stage, you will get that luxury car. It might only be a second hand luxury car … but you will get it.

I often see cheaters on the sporting field, trying to con the referee into awarding his / her team a penalty or something. I always shake my head in disbelief when I see that. By expressing gratitude for cheating (and indulging in it) this person is telling the Universe that he / she appreciates cheating. This person does not appreciate fair play, integrity and honesty. As if by magic, this person will con and be conned … he will cheat and be cheated upon … not only on the playing field. He appreciates cheating, dishonesty and unfair play … so it will be given to him in real life too. In some form or another, he will either cheat or con himself … or he will be cheated on and conned by others. That’s what he asked for by displaying appreciation for and indulging in cheating and conning. His actions clearly stated that he is grateful for cheating and dishonesty. That’s what he will get more of. His on-field cheating will overflow into his real life, because the Universe does not understand that he was only playing a game. The Universe understands:

“I like cheating. It is a good thing. I am grateful for cheating. I want more of it, please.”

Your actions are simply a reflection of what you appreciate … in other words what you are grateful for … be it positive or negative.

People who like to watch real life violent videos or negative incidents are telling the Universe that they want more violence, drama and negativity in their lives. Your wish is my command. By expressing gratitude and appreciation for violence, negativity and drama you are simply drawing the same into your life. Not only on your cellphone or TV screen, but also into your daily life. Violence, negativity and drama will seek you out, rest assured.

Be careful what you indulge in … or where you direct your energy to. You are expressing gratitude with your attention and energy. Your wish is my command….

Learn to show gratitude for even the smallest insect, animal or plant. Each serves a purpose. Appreciate and respect them. Say thank you for them. Show gratitude by admiring them and respecting their existence. Appreciate the wonder of life flowing through them. Show gratitude for the smallest things in life, like being able to see, hear or speak … or even to breath. Show how fortunate you are by appreciating it in word and deed. Never take it for granted. You can only get more and better by expressing gratitude in a positive manner.

Even if you are homeless today, express gratitude for being able to look at a beautiful tree or flower. Touch the bark of a tree and appreciate its wonderous existence. Appreciate the magic of life in the insect on the ground next to you. Appreciate the scrap of food you may have received. Look up to the sky and appreciate the wonder of the Universe we live in. Acknowledge that you are not the victim of anything or anyone. Your own actions and choices created your current circumstances. You can magically change your fortunes completely around, if you really want to. Simply begin by expressing true gratitude for even the smallest thing you are able to enjoy or experience … just make sure it is something positive.

Even if you love being homeless, express gratitude for it by enjoying every moment and embracing the lifestyle. That way you will make sure you remain homeless.

By littering or finding pleasure in killing animals or insects, you are telling the Universe that you don’t appreciate this planet you are living on. You don’t appreciate other life forms. You appreciate destruction and killing. You will be given messy circumstances to live in … or your life will be messy, just like the litter you tainted the environment with. You appreciate littering, killing and are disrespectful towards other life forms? Guess what? Negativity will follow you around. You don’t appreciate this planet … this planet won’t appreciate you. You will be worked out. You will not get all the goodness and grace the Universe are able to give you.

Do you like superficial and temporary relations with men or women? Toy with people’s emotions? Guess what? You will get lots of those … but none of the permanent good stuff. I am especially guilty of this one. Up to six years ago, this was how I lived my life. I realised that I had to stop and change the signals I am sending out to the Universe, if I ever hoped to find the love of my life. Show appreciation for honesty, loyalty and integrity. Express love … save your sexuality for the right one. Don’t share your body or time with the wrong people. Show gratitude for a deep and meaningful lifestyle and existence. That’s what you will attract by displaying gratitude and appreciation for these good qualities.

Sleep around a lot and use and abuse people? Your wish is my command. You will give and receive a lot of sleeping around and superficial things. You will never receive true love and commitment, because that is not what you are grateful for … your own behaviour dictates that. Your own actions display what you appreciate and are grateful for. You will get more of those.

I had to learn this the hard way.

I had to change everything about myself to be who I am today … a man worthy of the woman of his dreams.

I am grateful for what happened with my son, because it pushed me to the next level … and beyond. I have grown beyond recognition since the horror events … and I am grateful for that. I have bettered my life in every possible manner … and it would not have happened if my son was not alienated from me. Thank you for that. The events surrounding my son had to happen to ensure that he will be placed under my permanent care … thank you for that.

I express gratitude for my body and life by leading a fit, healthy and balanced lifestyle.

I express gratitude for being alive by not speeding or taking risks … or not getting involved with married women. You catch my drift?

I express gratitude for my mother by spending as much time as possible with her and always being there for her when she needs me. I tell her I love her every time I see her or speak to her on the phone.

I express gratitude for a good income and projects by working passionately on the projects I am given.

I express gratitude for every rand that comes my way. It could have been given to someone else.

I express gratitude for the love of my life (whom is still making her way to me), by not associating myself or wasting my time with other, less deserving women.

I express gratitude for this planet I live on, by living in harmony, awe and wonder of it.

I express gratitude for my talents by polishing them and making use of them.

I express gratitude for my mental health by constantly growing intellectually, emotionally and spiritually.

I express gratitude for every failed relationship that moulded me into the man I am today. I choose to learn from them. I appreciate the lessons they taught me. By learning from them and by not repeating the same mistakes and patterns, I am improving my own choices and habits. This is actually an expression of gratitude for becoming a better and more polished version of myself. By being selfish with who I share my time, energy and body with, I am guiding the Universe to the type of woman I appreciate and want in my life. It is a physical expression of gratitude to only spend time with someone I truly value as a possible life partner. I am not referring to innocent coffee dates with female friends. I am effectively eliminating the wrong types, by not spending time with them. My actions, behaviour and growth are showing the Universe what type of woman I am grateful for … hence being able to attract the love of my life into my life.

Move your ass, won’t you?

I express gratitude for integrity by always doing the right thing … even when nobody can see me … or when nobody will ever know.

I express gratitude for my last bowl of rice, because I could have had none.

I express gratitude for each morning I can wake up and experience the wonder of a new day … a new opportunity … a new page … a new chance to start all over … the next step on my beautiful journey.

***

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The alienation of my son, Sam (#003)

So now this woman fell pregant at the very time I was looking for ways to get her out of my life. I was a bit stuffed then, right? To be honest, I hoped she would opt for an abortion. Everyone else were also pushing for her to follow that route, including her parents, her kids and the other man she was flirting with behind my back. Yip, another one! Even I mentioned it to her. At first she agreed … but then she changed her mind. For once in her life, she made the correct decision by opting to keep the baby. Give credit where credit is due.

The one thing I made peace with when the news broke, was that I needed to be there for my unborn baby. I was man enough to make the baby … I had to be man enough to be a father for him/her. I made the decision then to support Evil Anne through the pregnancy. I committed to give her a roof over her head and take care of all her living costs and medical bills. I was open and honest about the fact that the agreement would only last up to three months after birth.

I was stuck with this woman for the time being.

I was going to have a baby with the worst possible candidate.

My life would never be the same again.

Yep, I dug that deep and dark hole myself … and for myself.

The sad thing was that my daughter also had to endure the chaos and destruction that followed. I will forever live in regret of that. I failed my daughter in her matric year. I brought this monster into our peaceful lives. I am the only one to blame. I was warned. I did not listen.

So, now I had to make peace with the fact that Evil Anne would remain part of my life for another ten months or so. I looked up to it. I really wanted her out of my life. What was I to do? The only thing I could do, was to own up to my responsibilities.

It was going to be a tough and insane ride.

I made peace that this too would end.

***

During the year, Evil Anne wrote numerous documents. To me, it appeared as if a twelve year old child was the author … such was her mentality. In it she summarised her life story. She described in horrific detail how her father and stepmother had alienated her and her sister from their biological mother. She wrote how they were brainwashed to believe that their mother was a bad person. The extreme measures her father and stepmother went to to prevent their mother from seeing them or building a relationship with them, was unfathomable. I could not believe what I was reading. It was discomforting to realise that evil people like those actually existed. It was something you only heard of on the news … but never actually encountered in real life. I felt sad for Evil Anne. She was robbed of a mother by the very people who supposedly loved her.

Evil Anne went on to describe that the alienation tactics employed by their father and stepmother were so effective that they truly believed their mother had rejected them at birth. The bottom line is that Evil Anne was robbed of a mother by her father’s evil actions. She never had the opportunity to have a normal relationship with her mother.

Evil Anne went on to tell that her father was a vicious and violent drunk, who regularly hit her until he drew blood. According to her, he displayed a lot of anger and rage. She tells that this guy abused them emotionally, physically and verbally … even calling her a whore when she was thirteen years old. Her stepmother was described as someone who physically abused her by biting her and scratching her as a twisted form of discipline.

On top of all of that, they also alienated her from her mother!

Little did I know that this woman was going to draw on these experiences to do the very same thing to my son Sam and I.

What I didn’t know at that stage, was that she already had her first trial run in parent / child alienation. It happened after her second divorce, when she callously coached her little childen to claim that her ex-husband had sexually molested them. This was done purely to alienate the kids from him, because they were too attached to him. After a few months, she made an u-turn and admitted that she had coached her children to make the false accusations against this poor guy. She then described her actions as “devil’s things.”

Can you imagine shamelessly abusing your children in this way?

Yes, we are dealing with pure evil here.

What is even more concerning, is that the government systems didn’t intervene by taking these poor children away from her. In fact, she learnt from her first alienation attempt that the South African Police Child Protection Services is a very willing and able partner in crime when you want to alienate a parent from his/her children. All you have to do, is speak the magic words, “This person sexually molested my children.” From that moment onwards, the SAPS Child Protection Services will assist you in your evil agenda. They will blindly believe you and they will assist you in keeping a loving parent away from his/her child. She learnt very quickly that if you speak the magic words, i.e: “he/she abused my child,” the onus then rests on the destraught and innocent parent to prove his/her innocence … a process that would take years and a fortune to achieve. By then the damage would have been done. What Evil Anne learnt very quickly after her first alienation of parent and child attempt, was that the South African Police Child Protection Services has an idiotic one-liner they use like parrots to justify their support for the criminal, which goes: “it is all about the best interest of the child.”

The South African Police Child Protection Services are incapable of clear thought processes. They will blindly believe you once you speak the magic words. They will become the perfect partner in crime for you as a criminal. They will asisst you in achieving successful child and parent alienation. They will threaten to arrest a desperate parent whose child has been ripped away from him/her if that parent dares to contact the child.

The South African Police Child Protection Services will not consider who is making the accusations. They will not look into your history. You can be as crazy as fuck … they will blindly believe you and assist you in your evil agenda. In the absence of any physical proof, they will still blindly believe the criminal and assist in the alienation of parent process. At the same time, they will go on regional radio and tell all the listeners what a great job they are doing in protecting children from offenders … while the truth is that they are actually assisting some offenders – like Evil Anne – in their evil agenda to alienate loving parents from their children.

All of this is done “in the best interest of the child.

Lifes are destroyed. Families are ripped apart. Parents and children are alienated from each other … all with the blessing and assistance of the SAPS Child Protection Services. If the innocent parent does not have lots of money to fight this injustice, the alienation will become the perfect crime….

You can already see where this story is heading, can’t you?

Yes indeed….

My horror story has just began.

Remember, at this stage, I only knew about the alienation from their mother by their father and stepmother. I did not know about what she had done to her second husband. I was only going to find this out much further down the line.

The contents of Evil Anne’s life story were truly shocking. In addition to the above, she also describes that she first attempted suicide in 1989. I read this with serious concern. She was obviously a very troubled person from very early on. I felt totally overwhelmed by the shady character of the people whom I had invited into our lives. These were the scum of the earth … and I was responsible for making them part of our lives. Now I was about to have a baby with someone like this….

I really could have picked a much better woman to have a baby with, couldn’t I?

Let’s be honest, we all have a story to tell. I also suffered under an abusive stepfather, but even he seems like a saint compared to these people.

Where did I go wrong in life?

How did I come to associate myself with white trash like this?

I was not going to hold Evil Anne’s past against her, because I knew from my own experience that everything I had endured as a child had turned me into a person who always strived to be better in every possible way as an adult. I used my own unhappy childhood as motivation to give my children the best possible circumstances and experiences. I was hoping Evil Anne would also use her unhappy childhood as motivation not to repeat the evil and vicious cycle. Unfortunately – being someone with a low and sly character – she rather chose to feed of her childhood experiences to fuel her own evil agenda as an adult. I did not quite realise this at that early stage….

I was slowly learning more about Evil Anne and her past. The more I learned, the more I became concerned … particularly because I could see that she was not capable of using her past to become a better person. In one of her writings, dated 13 July 2010, she decribes how she had an affair with (yet another) married man, while she was still married to her first husband. No wonder he sexually rejected her. Then she was the cause of breaking up yet another marriage by having an affair with the husband. Yet, she simply could not learn from her destructive habits. It continues to this very day.

Evil Anne also revealed how she had physically attacked almost every man she was ever involved with. Apart from this, she revealed her violent nature in general towards staff and other people who had the misfortune of dealing with her. Yet, in front of me, she appeared to be so timid and innocent … always playing the victim.

She wrote all of the above, by the way. I have it on black and white. It is not stuff I am dreaming up. It is the truth, as told by herself.

She also writes that she has a lot of anger and rage in her … and that she would regularly bang her head against the wall when she lost control.

A little bit too softly, I would say….

Sorry, I don’t mean to be insensitive or offensive.

Her trend of malicious accusations against other people – particularly her exes – was very noticable in her writings and the stories she told. Every single one of them was tagged with something negative. Her first husband became gay, because he sexually rejected her … even though he left her for another woman and has been with her ever since. My friend – whom also had the misfortune of dating her – also was branded as being gay. Andries (another ex) was into child pornography … and so it goes on. Once she gets something into her mind, she becomes robotic. It is almost impossible then to change her mind. In the period I was with her, she sent emails containing false and malicious accusations of corruption and bribery to the Eastern Province Herald in an attempt to frame the man she was having an affair with just before she became involved with me. You know … the one who dumped her when his wife discovered the affair.

Yes, this woman is a problem. Yet, she is allowed to walk freely amongst us.

Now I was stuck with her. I could not even bring myself to have sex with her for the most part. I felt such an extreme repulsion towards her that I did not want to come near her physically (although I did on the odd occassion). I have never been with a woman for thirteen months and been so sexually inactive with her. Tells a story. Just like her first husband, I found myself rejecting her sexually. She became a thing to me once I discovered who she really was. I could not acknowledge her as a human being.

I witnessed in that time how her other two children ran away from her, when they saw her approaching them while in a mall with their father’s fiance. This happened twice … in front of my eyes. I found this very abnormal. When I asked them about it later, they told me that their mother could not control herself when she saw them with their father’s fiance. They were afraid that she would become violent … so they simply ran away and hid until she was gone.

Imagine growing up being constantly afraid, on edge and embarrassed of your mother’s behaviour like that. The poor children. The permanent psychological damage they had suffered by being exposed to her is concerning. Sickening.

The one thing closest and dearest to me – my daughter – was targetted by this evil person. She used very crude swear words in reference to my daughter. She did this because my daughter rejected her after she first physically attacked me. In return, Evil Anne began to victimise my daughter. Naturally my daughter was horrified and disgusted after Evil Anne first attacked me. The sight of my bruised and bloodied face was something my daughter should not have been subjected to. Being the peaceful and dignified people we were, such behaviour was animalistic for us. It is something we have never experienced before.

Evil Anne went on to physically assault me five times over the thirteen times we were together. I restrained myself from retaliating. All I did, was to defend myself as best I could. I had her arrested on the fourth occasion, but withdrew the charges because the police told me she belonged in a mental institution. She assaulted me again after that, believe it or not. It was a crazy world she lived in. It was beyond embarrassing to have meetings with clients with a swollen and purple eye….

It was a sick and crazy period in my life.

Things became so bad that I had to find alternative accommodation for my daughter. I simply could not expose her to Evil Anne. I basically had to choose between my unborn child and my eighteen year old daughter. I was caught between a rock and a hard place. The choice I made, was to ensure I would qualify for equal parental rights by supporting Evil Anne through the pregnancy up to three months after birth. That’s what I did. In the process, I had to break up my loving family home with my daughter. I had to ensure that I would be in a position to take my son away from her. For that reason, I temporarily chose my son over my daughter. He needed me most. I was severely traumatised when I realised how this woman had destroyed our happy family home within just a few months. My life lay around me … scattered into a million little pieces.

Evil Anne forced me to move house three times during that crazy thirteen month period. It was almost four times, but I decided to put my foot down when I realised how she was manipulating me. I was caught in her out of control and crazy existence.

Evil Anne was diagnosed with Bipolar 2 later in the year, based only on what she told the psychiatrist. The diagnosis would have been very different if I opted to share how her behaviour really was. I chose to remain silent, because I had to share a house with this crazy person. She also spent a week in a mental institution. I found myself wishing they would keep her there for a few months. Life was peaceful and uncomplicated while she was away. She had to return, unfortunately.

On 23 September 2010, Evil Anne made her first written threat that she would change my son’s name if I should break up with her.

On 24 September 2010, she wrote that I would never know my son.

Remember these threats. They would become horribly real later on.

A week after my son’s birth, we registered his name under my surname at the Department of Home Affairs. From that moment, Evil Anne could not legally change his surname without my consent … yet she later managed to do exactly that in a fraudulant manner. The Department of Home Affairs then advised me to open a case of fraud against her. This criminal would stop at nothing to deny my paternal rights and to distance me from my son. Even committing fraud was not beyond her.

On 21 April 2011, I finally managed to get rid of Evil Anne. My son was three months old. After spending thousands of rands on her relocation, she begged me five days later to come back to me. I bluntly refused. I was done with this crazy woman and her chaotic existence. There was no way I would ever bring her back into our lives again.

And so, ended the most crazy, destructive and chaotic thirteen months of my life.

I was looking forward to rebuilding my life after all the chaos and destruction.

Evil Anne had other plans. If I thought my life would go back to normal when I got rid of her, I was sadly mistaken. From then on, Evil Anne would regularly expose my son to unacceptable situations … block my contact with him … and deny my visitation rights.

***

Just five months after I had parted ways with Evil Anne, she again managed to reel in another poor married sod. It turned out that she was only financially abusing this poor guy and when he finaly realised it and tightened his purse strings, she ended their affair.

Thats Evil Anne for you.

You are probably wondering where the next married man was going to come from? Don’t worry, Evil Anne will not disappoint you. I was probably the only unmarried man she was involved with since the early 2000’s. Guess I should feel honoured….

My son was becoming very clingy when he was with me, while being tearful when he was with Evil Anne. Even at that young age, he felt more comfortable and at ease with me. Very telling. My daughter did the same thing when she was that age. Evil Anne reacted very strongly when she realised that a strong bond was forming between my son and I. She suddenly announced that I would see less of my son from then on, because he was becomming too attached to me. Just like that. Blunt and to the point, without any feeling.

Shock. Horror.

I could not comprehend how a mother could do something like that to her child.

If the roles were reversed, I would have been very happy to see that my child is happy and content in the presence of the other parent. Isn’t that what a good parent is all about? Not where Evil Anne is concerned.

At that time she confrmed in writing that her married boyfriend is looking after my son during the days while she is working long hours. Even though I begged her to rather allow me – his father – to look after him, she refused because she didn’t want him to become too attached to me. She said it just like that. I could not believe what I was hearing. What a good mother she is.

Lets’s fast forward a bit….

I told you Evil Anne would not disappoint.

Enter the next married man.

I learned about their relationship on 22 September 2012. To make a long story short, this guy’s wife found out about the affair … and my little boy suddenly found himself in the middle of total chaos … again created by Evil Anne. It was a very unpleasant situation and it carried on for quite a while. My son was directly exposed to some very nasty and unacceptable situations, which caused him much trauma.

When the dust finally settled and this dude eventually divorced his wife, things actually became quite pleasant between Evil Anne and I. This guy was a very good influence on her. He kept her sane and rational. I was very pleased. So pleased, that I begged her to never leave him.

But you know Evil Anne by now. Nothing can endure where she is involved. Everything has to be destroyed. She flourishes in chaos and destruction after all.

Let’s stop here for now, while we find ourselves in a rare feel good moment.

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How manifestation magically transformed my life.

At the start of 2014 my life was in shambles. I hit rock bottom and things were only getting worse by the day. My own decisions, choices and actions created my reality. I acknowledged that fact. I was probably my own worst enemy … something like a Mike Tyson. Like Iron Mike, I am a person blessed with many talents and the X-factor, yet I always found a way to trip myself up. If only I was able to focus, do what must be done and express myself through my many talents. All the good things in life would have followed automatically. I knew that. Instead, I was responsible for derailing myself with frustrating regularity. I think part of the problem was that I knew I possessed the power to achieve whatever I wanted to in surprisingly short periods of time. That knowledge made me careless, arrogant and nonchalant.

I had to accept that talent is of no use unless you actually put in the daily hard yards towards your goals. I needed to learn and accept to take care of the basics.

What astounded me was how the average blue collar worker could chip away daily for many years and end up in quite a comfortable situation in their forties or fifties. They simply committed to do the basics every single day. They chose a career … went to work every day … and chipped away at that same dull routine every single day for many years. Now that was something I had neglected to do. Committing to the basics over a period of time was a problem for me. Being stuck in a dull daily routine, wasn’t for me. I am a free spirit who lives life by my own rules. I could never commit to go to work … earn a steady salary … come home in traffic … only see my kids at night … eat … watch tv … go to sleep … repeat for many years.

For that reason, I have been flying solo since January 1994 when I founded my own architectural practice. The problem, however, remained that I struggled to work in a disciplined and structured manner. Work was something that interfered with other things I would rather be doing. I basically only worked when I really was forced to do so. Deadlines meant nothing to me. The result was that I was seen as a highly competent and gifted person, who was totally undependable and unreliable. As luck would have it, I could get away with my antics because some clients would rather put up with my nonsense than settle for someone with average abilities. I regularly heard comments, like:

“It is a struggle to get you working, but when you do, you are next level brilliant.”

or

“If I had your abilities, I would have been a multi-millionare by now.”

Yes, I knew I had the X-factor.

Yet, I was caught in a downhill spiral. I was simply not progressing in life as I should have been. I was my own worst enemy. It was a bit embarrassing at times.

The good thing was that my lack of progress in life, was not due to destructive habits, like alcohol or drug abuse. In fact, I have never been a smoker or a drinker. I never felt the need to experiment with drugs. I simply lacked that destructive gene. Smoking, drinking and drugs made zero sense to me. I also wasn’t into parties, clubs or bars. I was always the one who would be safely in bed by 10pm even on weekend nights. I preferred being snuggled up in bed with a book, than to be out at social gatherings after 10pm at night. Given all of this, I really had it all going for me … I simply had to get my shit together.

The one bad habit I did have, was to constantly associate myself with the wrong women. The choices I made in my desperation to find love, simply created lots of drama and destruction in my life. The financial implications and instability created by this bad habit, was cause for concern. I went in and out of relationships far too soon and far too often. When one was over, I simply moved on to the next one. There was always another one waiting for the opportunity to date me. I cannot remember that one woman ever left me … I left them all. Some of them, created chaos and destruction in my life.

Again, I was to blame.

I chose them. I associated myself with them.

I knew exactly what I wanted in a woman, but I simply wasn’t willing to wait patiently for my dream woman to walk into my life. Being single was not very appealing to me. Instead, I associated myself with the wrong women, which – inevitably – pushed the arrival of my dream woman away into the distance. Some of these women were very good and solid people, but I knew they were not what I was looking for … yet I still dated them … only to leave them heartbroken a few months later. Stupid, very stupid.

I was just asking for my life to go nowhere fast.

So by 2014, I began to understand that it was in my hands – and my hands only – to make the required changes in my life. I knew I had to change my daily rituals, mindset, decisions and actions if I wanted to see change. I knew my actions and daily rituals had to support the goals I had in life. For example, it was no use that I dreamt of having a certain type of woman by my side, but then I contradicted that dream by dating people who totally didn’t fit into that mould. How contradicitve….

I was sending out contradictive and confusing messages to the Universe.

I had to learn to line up my daily actions, rituals, thoughts and decisions with what I wanted to manifest or materialise in my life.

This was where my life became truly magical.

The first step was to acknowledge what was wrong in my life. I had to identify where I was and where I wanted to be … so I made a list. After a few days of thinking about my life and identifying what was wrong and where I wanted to be, I had compiled a good list, covering every area of my life.

Let me tell you the trick right here:

I knew what was wrong, but I didn’t focus on the negativity, i.e. what was wrong and why. I only focused on where I wanted to be in each of the departments that needed change. So I didn’t focus on this is wrong and that is wrong … all I did was to see myself where I wanted to be in each of those “broken” areas. I focused on the end result only.

From that moment onwards, 6pm to 7pm each day became my sacred manifestation time. I would exercise from 5pm to 6pm and then go for a walk from 6pm to 7pm (sometimes in bitterly cold and rainy conditions). As I was walking, I would repeat my wishlist (or orders) to the Universe … and then say thank you for them as if I had already received them. I would do this daily, without fail. I became so excited about the future I was creating in my mind for myself, that my walks would become brisk and energetic. I psyched myself up so much that I had a real spring in my step. By reinforcing and repeating my wishlist to the Universe every single day, it became ingrained in my mind and being. I lived my life in support of those lists.

What happened then was that the wishlist became so ingrained in my mind that I would be reminded of it when I was either about to do something contradicting a goal or when I recognised the opportunity to take a step towards that particular goal.

In addition to putting out my wishlist into the Universe, I also learned to express gratitude every single day. I expressed gratitude for even the smallest things, like being able to walk around the neighbourhood. Even during the worst days in my life, I learned to feel excited about something and to express gratitude for it.

Here is my first ever wishlist and the status of each goal:

Order #1: I earn an average of R50k per month.

Now, at that stage I was struggling financially. I was basically telling the Universe that I wanted to double my income. If you understand in what a deep and dark pit I found myself, you would appreciate how stupid this order to the Universe was. There was no immediate prospect for me to achieve this goal. I did not have the clients nor the projects to justify such an income. There was nothing in the pipeline to give me the idea that my income would increase as requested.

Yet, I put the order out there every afternoon on my walks … and I visualised how good life would be with that extra income. I felt how prosperous and easy our lives would be. It was such a great feeling to live so stress free.

I continued to place that order for about fifteen months, without seeing any drastic change in my income … yet I firmly believed I would get what I had requested from the Universe. The more time went by, the more firmly I believed the goal was about to come true.

Now, you must understand that I didn’t sit back and wait for the money to flow in. What I did was to do all the projects that came my way with a passion. I really made sure that my energy flowed into my work. When I worked, I worked hard and productively … and I always made sure that I did a great job, however small the project was.

And sure enough….

As time went by – relying only on word of mouth – I got more clients and more projects. My income got better and better … until I reached the average monthly income I had only been dreaming of up until then. From then on, R50k per month became very easy to achieve. Something that was so far away from reach became my new normal.

From then, I adapted that goal every year to a new previously unachieved average income. I have achieved every single one of those financial goals. Once I reached a new level of income, that income level suddenly became easy to achieve and maintain.

I did have some setbacks, however. In 2019, I suddenly had a very bad year after my best ever year by far in 2018. No matter how hard I worked and how focused I was, there simply was a block on my income. It was not happening. I was struggling.

You know what I did then?

Never once did I complain. I appreciated every cent that came my way, even though I was struggling. I appreciated every client and every project. I expressed my gratitude with absolute delight. I simply continued to visualise myself making even more money than ever before … every afternoon on my walks, without fail. I didn’t understand what was happening and it didn’t make any sense, but I never said one negative word. I did not complain. I did not ask why. I remained positive and believed without a doubt that once the drought had ended, I would prosper beyond my wildest imagination.

It happened exactly like that.

How magic is that?

Order #2: I own a second hand Audi A3 Sedan.

This was a ridiculous order to the Universe. I was struggling to pay the Peugeot 207 I was driving. I was not credit worthy. My income was so low that we could only look after our basic needs. I very often did not have petrol in my Peugeot, yet I ordered a luxury car from the Universe. How stupid and delusional is that?

Yet, I repeated that order every afternoon and saw myself looking down at those four rings on the steering wheel as I was driving my Audi. It felt so good. The sense of achievement gave me goosebumps. There was absolutely no way for me to understand or foresee how I could achieve this goal. There simply was no way … yet I believed it would happen.

In April 2017, the unimaginable happened.

At that stage, I had been visualising myself driving a second hand Audi A3 Sedan since 2014. Never once did I become frustrated or disappointed when it did not happen. I just knew it would happen.

What actually did happen, astounded me.

In April 2017, I bought a brand new Audi A3 Sedan. Not second hand … brand new. The latest model straight from the factory. I got so much more than I had dreamt of. It didn’t even cross my mind to order a brand new Audi at double the price, yet I got exactly that.

This taught me to never underestimate the power of the Universe. Never worry about how or when things will materialise. If you visualise something long enough … put in the required work … and never loose your faith, your dream WILL come true.

I had been visualising that car for three years … and when I finally got it, I got so much more than I ever imagined was possible.

What a moment.

How amazing is that?

Can you imagine how I felt when I saw my car?

This is an actual photo of my new car exactly as I first saw it. They didn’t have this car on the floor, so I didn’t even see it before that day. I had to pull the cover off myself to expose my new car. Can you imagine my sense of achievement after I had been visualising this car for three years?

It was like magic.

Order #3: I am a published author.

I had written numerous manuscripts up to that stage, but that’s all they were … manuscripts. They were rough and crude. Nowhere near publication standard. The moment I put out my order to the Universe to be a published author … and I reinforced that order every afternoon … I realised that I had to put in daily steps towards achieving that goal. It was never going to happen by itself.

Just like there was a dedicated time to work on my architectural projects and a time to exercise and a time to manifest, there had to be a dedicated time for writing. That’s what I did. I dedicated a certain time of each day for working on my books. I just kept chipping away every day … one little step forward every day. When the book was done, I edited it from the start to the end. Again and again. I refined that book for many months, even though I was anxious to get it out there. I kept on polishing it until I was happy with the final product.

The next step was to send my book away for professional editing, cover design and all the exhaustive steps required to get a book published. The big day finally came in late 2016 when I held my published book in my hands for the first time. It was like holding your new born baby for the first time. Something I had been working on for so long, had finally materialised. What a fantastic moment.

I had been visualising that moment for more than two years. I had been reinforcing my order to the Universe every afternoon. Never losing faith. Until that goosebump moment when I held the book in my hands. Again, I was surprised by the quality of the final product, which exceeded all expectations.

I was a published author.

I am a published author.

In all three of the above cases, I always got more than I had visualised. In each case, I got more or better than the actual order I had put out into to the Universe. It is notable how long some of these orders to the Universe took to materialise, but – when they did materialise – the result was spectacular. There is a lesson here. The lesson is that you cannot put a timeframe to achieving your goals. Just know you will achieve the goal when the time is right … if you do not become discouraged and impatient.

There were other orders to the Universe. All, but one, have materialized. The other one will too, when the time is right.

I asked for true and good quality friends. Exactly as I ordered, they slowly emerged and came into my life. Good and solid people who were there to stay. People who I am proud to call my friends … unlike the type with whom I had associated myself in the years before.

I also asked that I would attract my dream woman to me. Well, she has not yet arrived, but the three relationships I have had since 2014 were all with very high quality women. Women who would not just date anyone. These were women I would never have been able to date before 2014, because I was not on their level yet. The action I took in this regard, was to be content being single … and to stop dating just anyone for the sake of dating someone. I resolved that when I dated, it had to be someone with whom I really could see a future. I constantly worked on myself … bettering myself in every way … growing and polishing myself to become the man who my dream woman would be attracted to. I became very careful of with whom I associated myself with and on who I spent my time and energy. I became selfish with myself. I only gave my time and energy to women I really knew fitted the profile of my dream woman.

The beautiful thing was how I realised that I have grown as a person, as I dated each of these three women. I realised I had grown in stature. I had become someone who these high class women admired and loved deeply. Each one was better than the previous one. I am building up to the moment when I finally meet the perfect one for me. There is no timeframe. It will happen when we are ready to receive each other … when we are on the same frequency. We are finding our way to each other. I have been asking for this order from the Universe since 2014 and I can see in the type of women I am attracting into my life that I am getting closer and closer to the one I have been dreaming of.

Gone are the days where I allowed low character women into my life. The last woman I dated, in particular, was as close to perfect for me as is possible. This is how I know that my dream woman is close … very close. I am very excited every single day in anticipation of her arrival.

In 2014, I began to ask to be a successful blogger. I did nothing, but think about it. Yet, the blogging request remained on my wishlist day after day … year after year. I knew I wanted to do it, but I just didn’t feel the spark to actually get it off the ground. Then, suddenly, in May 2020 – while on lockdown due to the CoVid-19 pandemic – I suddenly found that spark in me. It suddenly jumped out at me and made me aware that the time is now. It happened so quickly … after six years on my wishlist. As I am writing this, I can now say that I have also achieved this goal. I am a blogger. Next will be to become a successful vlogger.

Another aspect of my life which has become magical is my career. I have been asking the Universe for high quality clients and projects since 2014 … and that is what I am getting. If I compare my client and project base now with that of 2014, I am astounded to realise how I have climbed the ladder. I am always in demand and always fully booked. I only get very good clients and projects. I am simply functioning on a different frequency in every facet of my life. Why? Because I have changed who I am. I have grown in every possible way.

See, it serves no purpose to ask for bigger and better things and then not be willing to grow and better yourself into a person worthy of those bigger and better things.

You attract what you are.

Simple.

My life has become truly magical. As I receive the orders placed to the Universe one by one, I replace them with new orders or new goals.

One of my biggest dreams was to finally complete my degree in architecture. I always put it off, because I felt too ashamed to go back to university and share a class with twenty-one year olds. Yet, this dream remained on my daily order list to the Universe … for six long years. Now let me tell you something magical:

I was hard at work one day in late 2019, when I suddenly received the awareness (out of nowhere) that I must apply for the completion of my degree at university. I stopped what I was doing and came into contact with the university. I received an email back from a lecturer in the architectural school on that very same day. He urged me to submit my online application before midnight on that same day if I wanted to be considered for the 2020 student intake. I ignored all thoughts of embarrassment and completed my online application then and there.

The bottom line was, that I got the awareness to contact the university on the very same day that the applications closed. How magical is that? On that very same day! If I waited another day, I would have missed the deadline for the 2020 intake and I would probably have put it off forever.

I was accepted. I was registered as a fulltime student in February 2020. At first, I was beyond nervous and filled with embarrassment at the thought of walking into a class filled with twenty-odd year olds. I am a fifty-four year old man. However, I did it. After two weeks, I was accepted by all the other students and I simply became one of them. Six months later and I am loving each lecture and my marks are excellent. Had this not been on my wishlist ever since 2014, I would not have registered as a full-time student this year. I am now only six months away from holding my degree in my hands.

See how important it is to never let go of that elusive goal? Things will happen when the time is right. Doors will open … you will meet the right people … you will feel the urge to do something. As if by magic that goal will materialise.

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The alienation of my son, Sam (#002)

Evil Anne had me completely fooled. We grew closer with each passing day. I really thought I had met the love of my life. Almost with each passing day, I learned more and more disturbing things about her … yet I was so taken by her that I just took them in my stride. I reasoned that we all had a history and baggage and that we must face our respective issues together as a couple. After all, that’s what love is all about, isn’t it?

One of the biggest issues to surface within just a few days after I had met her, was that she had recently lost her job and was about to be evicted from her apartment. She also had no money for day to day living expenses. I could not stand by and see her get kicked out on the street, right?

Right!

If only I did.

Little Jay and I lived in a big house with lots of space inside and out after all. It just felt right to invite her and her two children to move in with us until she was on her feet again. Yes, I know … I had only met this person a few days before. How stupid could a man be? Apparently I gave new meaning to the word stupid. I am the first to admit to that fact … but I was kind of forced into a corner, don’t you think? What else was I to do, in the absence of lots of spare cash to send her way?

The situation was such that we had no opportunity to date in the conventional manner. Our relationship did not have the chance to develop normally and to go through the normal phases. If we did have the opportunity to date properly, we would not have lasted long … and no harm would have been done. We did not have that luxury. My hand was forced. I had to invite her into our house.

Well, I didn’t have to … but I felt that was what I needed to do. I was in the position to help, so I did make the offer. With that decision, I invited total chaos, destruction and pure evil into our peaceful and loving household.

What I didn’t know was why this woman was in the position she found herself in. You see, what actually happened was that she had – yet again – been involved with a married man, whom had lured her from Pretoria to Port Elizabeth with a job proposal. He promised to leave his wife for her and that his new company would look after her financially. So, what she did was to simply abandon the job she had in Pretoria. She moved to Port Elizabeth without so much as a word to her employer. One day she went to work and the next she just didn’t pitch up. Yet, later in the same year, she cunningly would try to sue them for unfair dismissal. Yes, that’s the type of person we are dealing with here … a sly, deceitful and opportunistic character.

Everyone else are to blame for her decisions and the situations she puts herself in.

Shortly after this woman had moved to Port Elizabeth to be with the married man she was having an affair with, his wife found out about the affair … and all hell broke loose. Things became very chaotic, ugly and stressful in double quick time. The love triangle was exposed to the bone. The end result was that Evil Anne then lost both her job and her married lover. He simply turned his back on her and chose to stay with his wife, leaving her high and dry. Go figure.

There Evil Anne was – again – blaming all of the world for the mess she had created herself. The story of her life. The problem is that there will always be a sympathetic ear for people like these when their audience have no knowledge or understanding of their history and character. I was one such fool.

I was the unfortunate idiot who met her a few weeks later, while she was in this terrible, self-created, mess. Of course, I didn’t know then how things came to be as they were. Being a master manipulator, she used emotional blackmail on everyone who would listen, in order to evoke sympathy and support. I – for one – was horrified about the bad luck and raw deal she was dealt with. She seemed so cute, decent and sane. She convincingly portrayed herself as someone whom had fallen victim to unforseen and unplanned difficulties. She gave the impression it was an one time occurrence. We all have some bad luck sometimes, right? Like now with this virus, which had unexpectedly crippled the world. Little did I know what the true situation was.

So, then Evil Anne became my problem. She hopped from her married lover’s bed straight into my bed … and I was totally oblivious. At first she came across as being this highly religous angel. Man, she talked a good religious talk. Staying within God’s will by not having sex out of wedlock was a big thing for her. She was convinced that was the reason for all the bad luck and trouble she had experienced in her life. She slept around too much … so God was punishing her. That is truly what she believed.

How utterly delusional can you get?

Not once did it cross her mind that she put herself into negative situations, which then – predictively – blew up in her face. No, there had to be another delusional reason … like having sex. She was something of a town bicycle, but – again – I didn’t know all her intimate details at that stage.

Despite being someone whom wanted to live within God’s will, I was surprised when she initiated every one of our first sexual experiences. She said one thing and did the opposite. I never was one to make the first move with women. I always left it up to them to initiate intimacy when they were ready. Thus, when she told me sex was out of the question, because she wanted to live within God’s will, I respected her wishes. My intentions were pure. I simply didn’t make any sexual advances … only to soon discover that she simply could not control herself. She threw herself at me in the most random places, despite being verbal about wanting to live within God’s will. Evil Anne was one of those highly delusional religious people. I slowly had to work this out in time.

To be honest, I found it flattering that she could not resist me while she was making such a big deal about living within God’s will. It seemed kind of romantic and reinforced that we had something special between us.

Yes, I fell for this idiotic, delusional rubbish.

There really was no other option for Evil Anne than to move in with me. She was totally stuffed otherwise. I felt forced to invite her to move in … and she basically had no other option. It was a very forced situation. Within a day or two after we had agreed that she would move in with me, she sold all her furniture. I was stunned. I told her to rather store her furniture in my garage until she was sure that we would work out, but she felt she was showing her commitment to me by selling her furniture. On the one hand, I felt flattered and on the other the alarm bells were beginning to ring … very softly so, because I was still blind and deaf with love.

Later in the year, she would tell everyone who cared to listen that she was forced to sell her furniture to help me out financially. Just like that, I became the one to blame for yet another one of her self-created situations. At that stage, I didn’t know this was how she operated. She makes the decisions. She places herself into explosive situations. When it blows up in her face, she blames everyone else for the mess she had created. Should unfortunate people be forced to react or defend themselves, because they happened to be involved in the negative situations she had created, they became the evil enemy who was attacking her. Her poor, unsuspecting audience (like me, at first) believed every word. How should we know otherwise? Oh brother, was I going to learn….

So, just a week or two after we had met, Evil Anne moved in with me. Her intentions were to stay permanently. She made that very clear. Her two teenage children were shared between her and her ex husband.

It didn’t take long before Little Jay and I experienced something that was totally foreign to us. Doors were slammed … they screamed and shouted at each other … cellphones were thrown around … my furniture was damaged … Evil Anne was called a bitch and a whore by her daughter. She was told that they hated her. My possessions and the rules of my house was disrespected and disregarded. To them, this kind of behaviour was normal. To me, only under evolved human beings behaved in this way. I simply could not associate myself with their behaviour.

Little Jay and I could not believe what we were witnessing. We sat in stunned silence as the horrible reality about these people were revealed. They were everything we were not. We were shocked to our very core. I could not believe that I had actually invited people into our loving and peaceful home who behaved in this unaceptable manner.

I was dumbfounded.

The horrible reality was that I had placed myself and my daughter in a situation where we were actually sharing a house with people like these.

It was then that I became slightly worried. Too late, huh?

Soon, I discovered that Evil Anne did and said some very strange things. Abnormal things. She would wake me up a few times every night, then ask me to promise that I would never leave her, before she went to sleep again. She would email her ex-husband and confront him because he sexually rejected her during their marriage … which ended ten years before! She stated that was the reason she was crazy. So, now she was blaming her ex-husband for all her problems … ten years later! At that stage, I didn’t understand what she meant with her statement that she was crazy. Oh boy, was I going to find out the hard way.

Evil Anne painted her ex husband in such a bad light that I developed an immediate dislike in him, even though I had never met him. I thought he was the scum of the earth, based on what she was telling me. When I actually met the guy a few months later, I realised that he was just a normal, decent and solid chap, who was unfortunate enough to marry her. He was far removed from the scum she made him out to be. That was how utterly convincing she was. When you hear her convincing stories – being told with passionate conviction – you cannot help but to believe her and side with her. She did the same to each of her ex boyfriends. Each one were painted in a negative light. I am sure her latest boyfriend also thinks I am the scum of the earth. The poor sod….

Somebody, please warn the poor dude.

Depression was something I did not know anything about. I had never encountered it and I had no clue what it was all about. I am naturally a very positive and optimistic person and I never focus on negativity. To me, depression was simply a negative mindset. I believed it could be turned around completely. The focus had to shift from negativity to positivity. As simple as that. I didn’t understand the sickness and it didn’t make any sense to me. I told her in that I would teach her to adopt a positive approach to life. Of course, that would never happen.

It was shocking to see how she slept through her days. She locked herself in a bedroom and just disappeared for a few hours at a time. I couldn’t understand her behaviour, but I didn’t put any pressure on her. All of this was new to me. I was slowly figuring her out. At that early stage, I began to realise that things were not as I expected or would have preferred them to be. It seemed as if more and more challenges were being thrown at me with each passing day. It also became very obvious that she was about to become a very heavy burden on me. She was basically a useless, walking zombie.

The next challenge was to come … and it was a nasty one. My brother and his wife teamed up with my ex wife to harass and terrorize Evil Anne and I. I cannot even remember all the details, because I just ignored them … but they were out to get us and to make life as uncomfortable for us as possible. Very soon, my ex wife demanded that I vacated the house, because I had a woman staying with me. I was renting the house, with a legal contract and my rent was up to date … but this was how irrational these people became. My ex wife still saw me as her dream man … and was hoping I would eventually take her back. The fact that I had a new woman staying with me in her house, didn’t fit in with her secret plans for us.

Crazy stuff happened ever since I met this woman.

Lots of unpleasant things and lots of challenges.

Most of you would have fled by this stage.

Not this super idiot.

I convinced myself that I was in it for the long run. Evil Anne romanticised all the attacks on us by telling me that it is written in the Bible that the most beautiful union (or whatever nonsense) would get tested and attacked by the evil forces. She said that we were being tested to see if we deserved one another. She was big on Joyce Meyer and regularly used whatever Joyce Meyer had said to justify how we should deal with the evil attacks on us.

I fucking kid you not! Best part is, I fell for all this shit.

I truly fell for this crazy delusional shit.

I bow my head in shame.

They say love is blind. My photo probably now appears next to that statement wherever it appears. I became the face for the “love is blind” movement.

Her next delusional story was that God had told her that I would be the last man in her life. I would be the man who would be at her side to the end. She also said that if I should leave her, she won’t ever be with another man. All of this sounds very romantic when you really want it to be true. But even I was getting concerned with all the delusional talk. Our lives had become somewhat crazy, unpleasant and complicated since Evil Anne and her kids came into our lives. Having no other option, I told Little Jay that we must educate these people to become better quality people. I told her that they didn’t have the same background and level of decency as us … and that we must try to uplift them. They were simply not used to anything better than what they displayed in their behaviour.

I realised very soon that Evil Anne was still in contact with other men. When I confronted her about it, she threw herself sexually at me and had sex with me for the first time. The truth is that she rolled me on my back and had her way with me. I just lay there and allowed her do what she wanted to do. I could not fathom what was happening. I am not saying I didn’t enjoy it. Of course, I did. From that day, the story went that she had sex with me against her wishes, because I was insecure. As is her way, I became the sexual predator whom seduced her and had sex with her against her wishes. See how this woman operates? Scary shit. But I was still learning … still figuring her out at that stage. I was still deeply in love, despite all the chaos and attacks and crazy things that were happening.

By bringing Evil Anne into our lives and into our home, she demanded that I also take over all her financial needs. A roof over her head and a beautiful house to live in with plenty of food to eat, just was not enough for her. She wanted it all. I had to take over all her debts and look after her financially. Now, I didn’t quite sign up for all of that. I was making enough money at that time to look well after Little Jay and I … but not enough money to also cover for Evil Anne and all her financial responsibilities. When I told her that I didn’t have enough money to take over all her expenses, she played the depression card on me. I was then blamed for dumping her into depression. I was causing her stress, which triggered her depression. To keep her stress-free and thus depression free, I had to take over all her financial responsibilities.

You know what this idiot (me) did then?

I paid all her financial repsonsibilities and neglected my own….

Yes, that’s what I did.

I didn’t pay my car. I didn’t pay my rent. The list goes on.

I did all of this in an effort to keep Evil Anne from falling into depression.

How fucking crazy is that?

The stress and pressure and craziness were just getting worse by the day.

At this time, I began to witness how Evil Anne used her children to emotionally blackmail her ex husband to get money. All of her stories were untrue. When this dude did give her money, she would spent it very quickly on luxuries, like dining out. I was beginning to catch on how crazy and manipulative her existence was. I didn’t like what I was discovering. The next thing she threw at me was to pressure me into moving away from the lovely house we were staying in. Her kids wanted to stay in Port Elizabeth … not on the outskirts of it. Little Jay and I was very happy in that house. It was a lovely house and an idylic setting, yet this woman just walked into our lives and went all out to cause chaos, instability and disruption.

My feelings were beginning to fade. I realised I had a huge problem on my hands. I realised that she appeared normal and cute … but that she was only a shell of a human being. She was empty from within. She could not be reasoned with. She had no capacity to think in a clear and logical manner. It was then that I realised that I had lost all feelings for her.

I wanted out.

I wanted to get rid of her. I wanted another man to take her off my hands.

Then the worst thing imaginable happened, just when I was making constructive plans to get rid of this dead load around my neck.

She fell pregnant.

***

A new post about my adventures, life experiences and travels will be posted every Sunday.

A new post about the true life horror story – The alienation of my son, Sam – will be posted every Wednesday.

Please hit the Follow button below if you would like to receive instant notifications when I publish new content.

***

Break the habit … permanently.

I was overwhelmed by the number of people who reached out to me after I published “How have I remained completely sickness free for the past six years?” Each one had their own little situation going on … fighting their own little demons or battles. While each of their situations and battles seem huge in their minds, I would submit that they are actually “small situations or battles.” You see, I have learned that any obstacle or battle becomes easy to overcome when you break it down into small, easy to manage, daily steps.

It is like going to the gym to build muscles. You will be an idiot if you do not understand that the process involves small daily steps forward towards the desired end result. After a week or two, you still won’t see any change in your body, but you will know that you are on the right track and that the results will eventually show … if you continue on the structured step by step journey you have embarked upon. The same thing can be said for breaking any nasty habit you may have … you have to do it in a constructive step by step manner.

There are no magic wands available to us, period.

However, you can achieve magical results in any facet of life simply by taking one step in the right direction every day. When you look back after just six months, you won’t believe the magical change this methodical change process has brought about. Life becomes magical then. Let me tell you … six months flies by very quickly.

Are you going to be one of those people who looks back after six months and wish they had gotten started six months ago? Imagine where you could have been if only you got started six months ago. It is truly deflating. In fact, it is so deflating that it probably won’t motivate you to take immediate action to ensure that you won’t look back after another six months in regret. You see, failure breeds failure. Just like that, you would have fallen into a horrible rut. However, if you have taken action six months ago and are now amazed by the results and change your actions have brought about, you will be very keen to adopt this strategy with everything you wish to achieve in life from there on.

Success breeds success.

It is then that life becomes truly magical.

You will look back in amazement after one year … two years … five years and would not be able to comprehend what you have achieved. The fact is, you did achieve it. Believe it or not. You have become a winner. You now understand how to conquer life and any challenge you wish to achieve.

You will understand then that you indeed have a magic wand in your hand.

Each of us has a magic wand in our hands … we just need to learn how to use it.

Understand this clearly: Anybody can dramatically change their lives within just six months (for better or for worse). The only prerequisite is that you get started immediately and take one step in the right direction every single day. If you don’t get started, you will be worse off in six months from now.

Very simple … but very effective.

Ok, how do we deal with the issues these people – who have reached out to me – are dealing with?

I can only draw from my own life experiences and simple logic. For that reason, I will refer to my own experiences often. I write about what I know has worked for me and what I have experienced myself. I am not qualified to write in any other capacity.

The issues people seem to be struggling with are the common ones … smoking … alcohol abuse … unhealthy eating habits … inability to bring about permanent change.

All of them acknowledged right off the bat that they knew they were on the wrong path. They could see and appreciate the damage their unhealthy life choices have done to their bodies, mindset and general wellbeing. One person told me straight, “if I continue like this, I won’t see 45.”

The positive thing about all of these people is that they have acknowledged that a change is needed. All of them appreciate that they are on the wrong path. I didn’t reach out to them … they reached out to me. That’s very positive. They have already taken a huge step in the right direction by simply acknowledging that a change is needed in their lives. There is nothing more sad to see than people who simply have given themselves over to their destructive lifestyles.

It is common to hear these lost souls say: “You have one life, enjoy it.” In that manner, they justify their very unhealthy, undisciplined and destructive lifestyles. When they reach fifty, they have the appearance of a 65-year old person. They feel insecure in their relationships, because they have not looked after themselves … they are struggling with bodily malfunctions … in most cases, their partner’s eyes and mind will begin to wander. They will look for excitement in other places. These people will say, “I cannot compete with a thirty-year old.” Rubbish! If you have looked after yourself, no thirty-year old will be able to compete with the fantastic fifty-year old you. Nothing is as sexy as an older person who has taken good care of themselves.

There is hope for these people who have reached out to me.

They want change.

They can have change.

They will have change … if they adopt a structured daily step by step plan to get to their goal.

Just saying you want and need to change, is useless. Change will not happen unless you commit yourself to do whatever is necessary to bring about the change required. This is where many people lose their way. They focus on the end result only. They focus on the demanding or long journey required to get where they need to be. They want quick fixes. There are none. Breaking up the journey into small, disciplined, daily steps is the only way. By focusing on the peak of the mountain before them, the mountain seems dauntingly insurmountable … and poof, they continue as they have with their destructive ways. They don’t adopt a simple plan to get where they need to be. Their downward spiral simply continues from there on. The problem with these people is that they will inevitably end up falling prey to their own undisciplined and unhealthy lifestyles. They will be diagnosed with all kinds of sicknesses, bodily malfunctions and their partner might have left them … disillussioned with what you have become. Once the damage is done, the journey will suddenly change from prevention to management. They will live a life of suffering and discomfort … and inevitably die much too young. What a waste of precious life.

Why wait until the damage is done?

Prevention is far better than cure.

You see, if you are the type who wants magical results within a day or a week, you can just stop reading right here and continue on your destructive way. I cannot offer you any assistance or advice. There is no help for you.

However, for those willing to commit to change and commit to a daily structured plan to bring about the required change, I can tell you right here and now:

“You will reach your goal. You will achieve the required change.”

It really is not rocket science … just simple logic.

The first thing required for change to occur is to acknowledge that change is required. Those who have reached out to me have done this. They can feel good about the fact that they have acknowledged that a change is needed in their lives.

The next step is to picture the desired result. Where do you want to be?

Now we know where you are … and also where you want to be.

It is like writing a book. The way I managed to write my book, was to know where I wanted to be once the book was done. I saw myself holding the published book in my hands. How I actually managed to get there, was to write at least one page every day until the book was done … in other words, I took one small step forward every day until I achieved the desired result. I didn’t assign a timeframe to achieving the desired result. I simply slogged on daily until that precious moment when I held my published book in my hands.

The key is: I structured my day to allow for one hour non negotiable writing time. In my case, I woke up an hour earlier and that became my writing time. I simply took one step toward the destination every single day, until I got there.

Anything in life can be achieved in this way.

How did I shed 24.5kg in fat? I committed myself to daily exercise and adopting healthier eating habits. I started very slowly … just by walking around the neighbourhood. I also slowly changed my eating habits from unhealthy to only good foods and drinks. Again, I assigned 5pm to 7pm as my exercise time. I committed to losing 100g to 200g every single day … that is about 1kg on average per week over six days. The seventh day was a rest day and a cheat day.

Ok, so now we know how to get into shape and write a book.

You probably don’t want to do either of the above. You want to know how do you stop smoking or stop abusing alcohol?

Very easy, if you are committed.

If it was me with the problem, I would have tackled it in the following way: I would first have established how many cigarettes I smoke on average every day. Lets say it is 6 per hour for sixteen hours every day. Gosh man, what is wrong with you…? How old are you going to look when you are 50?

Kidding….

So, now we know I am smoking 96 cigarettes each day. Thats a fact. How I would deal with this problem is to simply take out my 96 cigarettes ration for each day and put them in a container or something. Isolate them into daily rations. On the first day of change, I would remove two cigarettes from the container and smoke the other 94 as per usual. I will commit myself to only smoking those 94 cigarettes each day … not one more. I will go on like this for three or four days… Or even seven days.

After about four days, I would put two less cigarettes in the container. So now, I will only be smoking 92 cigarettes per day, instead of the original 96. See the difference that small daily change has already made? Your body has now become used to smoking four less cigarettes per day, no sweat.

After just one month, your body will now have become accustomed to smoking only 80 cigarettes per day, instead of the original 96. Thats a vast improvement already, don’t you think? It is an inspiring improvement. So inspiring that you would feel motivated to keep up the good work.

By the end of the second month, you will only be smoking 64 cigarettes per day … and you won’t even notice that you have managed to reduce your daily ration by 32 cigarettes already. Think about it. 32 less cigarettes per day!!

By now, you would have a successful and structured plan that is working for you and taking you constructively towards your end goal.

After just six months, your body would have become used to no cigarettes at all. You would have trained your body slowly and methodically to get used to the change. At that stage, you would have permanently kicked the nasty habit. I cannot see you going back to where you were. Part of the structured daily process involves reprogramming your mind to view things like cigarettes in a negative and repulsive manner. You will then look at smokers and feel nothing, but pity for them. You won’t be able to identify with them. You will now have gone to another level in your growth and journey as a human being.

By that time, you will feel fantastic and have a lot of spare cash to spend on more deserving items. Poof, gone is the smoking habit.

Alcohol abuse can be cured in the same way. Sudden changes won’t work. Adopt slow and methodical change. Let’s say you are used to drinking a bottle of alcohol every evening. How can you bring about permanent change?

Simple.

Your daily ration is 1 litre right? On the first day of change, you simply need to pour 950ml of your chosen alcohol into a container. That becomes your daily ration. You only drink those 950ml … not one drop more. After four to seven days, your daily ration changes to 900ml. Drink it … and enjoy it.

But not one drop more per day.

After eighteen weeks (if you are still alive), you will be used to only consuming 100ml of your favourite alcohol per day. Remember you used to consume 1 litre per day. You are now consuming 900ml less alcohol per day. Can you imagine how fantastic you will be feeling by then? You will be a person reborn.

After twenty weeks, you would have kicked this destructive habit. From that moment, you must make the commitment to not touch alcohol ever again. It is not serving you any constructive purpose. You don’t need it. You don’t need friends who tempt you to have a drink. Your body has become your temple. You are healthy and in control. The change has been gradual, constructive and permanent.

If you then compare old photographs to your new appearance, you will be amazed at how much younger, healthier and more vibrant you will look. That change should be all the motivation you will need to never be tempted to go back to those nasty old habits.

Remember, these changes can only be lasting if you commit to never fall back on your nasty habits again. Your mind needs to be reprogrammed to find the cigarettes and alcohol repulsive. That was exactly how I taught my body to accept less and less sugar in my coffee and tea. Today, I find the taste of sugar repulsive, because I am used to clean foods and drinks. Sudden change rarely works. Gradual changes cannot fail, if you remain committed.

It really is so simple.

Just take one step forward every single day.

Three months or six months go by so quickly. You will not believe how your life can change for the better in just three short months if you take one simple step forward every single day.

It took me six months to lose 24.5kg. The process of shedding that 24.5kg was so slow and methodical that my mind was also slowly reprogrammed. Once you gain mind control, you are set. I now look at foods in a different way than I did when I was overweight. My mind has been reprogrammed to choose foods only based on what goodness they can offer me. If they cannot offer me anything positive, I simply ignore them.

I am in charge.

I want you to be in charge too.

Nobody is going to do it for you.

It is totally up to you.

***

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***

The alienation of my son, Sam (#001)

The date was 26 March 2010. My daughter and I rented a beautiful four-bedroomed house in a sleepy and peaceful seaside village on the outskirts of Port Elizabeth.

Our situation was beautiful and in control. We were a happy little family of two. I was a very loving father and Little Jay was just a happy child, whom adored her father. She was two months into her final year at school and was looking forward to end her school career on a high.

As perfect as our situation was, there was one thing missing. I longed for a life partner whom I could settle down with and be happy with forever after. I was recently divorced from my ex-wife and we were actually renting her house by the sea. Everything was totally under control. We led a peaceful and happy existence. I was on very good terms with my ex-wife landlord.

But – you see – I made a wish a few months before that … and unfortunately I got exactly what I had wished for. Ever heard of the saying, “be careful what you wish for, you might just get it?” Well, that’s exactly what happened to me.

You see, before all of this, I was married to a woman whom I should not have married in the first place. I was desperately unhappy and unfulfilled. I remember sitting alone in a coffee shop within Walmer Park Shopping Centre one afternoon when a woman walked by whom I vaguely knew. She had dated a very close friend of mine some years before that. I remembered there were stories that she had physically attacked my friend during their relationship, but I assumed there were always two sides to a story … so I didn’t think much of it at that time. It briefly flashed through my mind that she had contacted me via text messages after they had split up. I was totally not interested in her back then … so, I simply didn’t show any interest back and she soon disappeared from the scene … until that very fateful day.

I also vaguely remembered that there were reports that she had thrown a brick through the glazing in the front door of her mother-in-law’s house during her second marriage. At least two newspaper articles were subsequently published about her problematic behaviour … one of which related to the physical attack on an ex employee of hers. I knew all these things … yet, I still stared after her. Shows you were I was in my own growth. I hang my head in shame.

There are already quite enough red flags, right? Indeed….

As she walked by, I remembered thinking, “now thats the type of woman I would like to date.” You see, I didn’t find my wife at that time sexually appealing at all. I was hugely frustrated by that. I wanted to date someone whom I did find sexually appealing. Isn’t that the basis of a good and lasting relationship?

Surely.

While I stared after her, I made a wish for “a woman like that.” I was referring to her physical appearance, which really appealed to me. Now, I don’t know where the wires between me and the Universe got crossed … but the Universe didn’t hear me wish for “someone like that.” The Universe understood that I wanted that exact person.

Thats exactly what I got … that exact same woman.

“Your wish is my command,” said the Universe.

“But, I didn’t….”

“Done deal,” winked the Universe. There must be some clowns with a twisted sense of humour up there.

At the start of 2010, I was looking forward to make the new decade a big one. I was excited and focussed. January and February were great … and then March came and everything went south very quickly from there on. Sounds a lot like 2020, doesn’t it?

On 27 March 2010 my life changed completely when I bumped into Evil Anne.

On 27 March 2020 my life again changed completely when South Africa went into full lockdown due to the Corona virus.

How eerie is that?

In both instances, my life had completely changed on 27 March at the start of a new decade. The difference is that this time it has changed for the better. That my life will take a different course from here on, I have no doubt. My mindset and focus have already changed completely. This virus has changed everything in 2020 … just like Evil Anne had changed everything for us back in 2010. The difference is that the previous decade was a nightmare for me … the current decade will be where all my dreams come true. It is a sense of knowing.

But wait, lets not get too far ahead, yet. Press the rewind button. We are back at the coffee shop somewhere before 2010. At that moment, I just wanted to get out of my marriage with my ex-wife. I had just made a wish for “a woman like that.” Evil Anne was still nowhere in the picture, thankfully so. Our lives were still sane and under control. Everything was going to change. I was totally oblivious of what was to come. If only I didn’t make that wish.

Now let’s fast forward to 26 March 2010.

It was the day before the evil came.

Our lives were normal, loving and peaceful. My daughter and I had a very strong bond. I had won full custody of her in 2005 and – since then – she had blossomed from a dark and unhappy child to a sunny and happy child. Under my care, she had achieved numerous distinctions at school. I raised my daughter with love and respect. Physical punishment was something she didn’t know or had ever experienced. Shouting, screaming, acting out and arguments were foreign to us. We simply were not that type of people. When there was a problem, we discussed it in a mature, rational and dignified manner.

I was the model father … a natural father. Little Jay was the model daughter for me. We treated each other with love and respect. We led an idylic and relaxed lifestyle.

Do you hear the soothing and relaxing music playing in the background?

At this moment, the record playing the soothing music, comes to a screeching halt….

There was a spanner in the works. I had an emptiness in my life. The lack of a life partner. I had so much love and commitment to give to the right person. I longed for that one special person. That was the spanner in the works … the fatal flaw. It is that emptiness and desperate longing which had caused me to invite the wrong people into our lives in the past. It was again going to be the reason why I invited the most horrible person into our lives.

I had just recently parted ways with my ex-wife whose presence in my life had caused Little Jay and I great unhappiness. Our lives had stabilized and became happy again after the divorce … but I was about to make the biggest mistake of my life. I was about to invite pure evil, chaos and destruction into our peaceful existence.

We went to sleep peacefully and happy the night before the evil came. We had no idea that our lives were about to change dramatically in the worst possible way.

There simply was no warning signs of what was to come … no dark clouds … no explosive storm … nothing.

The day on which the evil came started normally. Little Jay and I were at home just going about our usual business. Everything was peaceful, calm and quiet … the calm before the storm.

Then a text message came through.

“Hey Joe, I am at Walmer Park, having coffee. The wife is shopping. Come join me.”

It was from a good friend of mine whom had moved away from Port Elizabeth a while ago. He informed me that he and his new wife were in Port Elizabeth for a few days and that I must join him for coffee while she does her shopping.

I made sure that Little Jay was happy to stay at home, before I went to the mall to meet my friend. We had a great catch up session and he told me all about his new wife, whom I had never met.

After about two hours of catching up, I was ready to leave. My friend stopped me and requested that I wait a few minutes, because his wife was on her way and he wanted to introduce us. If only I had left….

Oh God, if only I had left.

I did not leave….

It proved to be one of those decisions we make that would either take us away from harm or trouble … or directly towards harm and trouble. I made the wrong decision that day and the consequences would be dire for my daughter and I.

When my friend’s wife arrived, I was shocked to see that the very same woman whom I had made a wish upon some time ago, was walking with her.

Yes, that very same woman.

That’s how Evil Anne walked into my life. That was the day life changed completely for my daughter and I.

I am sad to say that Evil Anne and I hit it off immediately. She was very cute and bubbly. She also had a great body. Her outward appearance and outgoing personality really appealed to me. She seemed so sane, innocent and normal….

I eventually left with a spring in my step and butterflies in my tummy. Evil Anne seemed so perfect for me. Little did I know. I simply ignored all of those red flags….

While I was driving home, there was no Grim Reaper standing next to the road … no black cat ran over the road … no dark clouds were forming … there was no random sign warning me to stay away from Evil Anne. Honestly, I was so desperate to find the love of my life, that I would not have listened to any warnings even if they slapped me in the face. That’s the sad truth. I was that desperate. I was seeing little cupids flying all over the road … and romantic music was playing in my mind. I believed I had met the best thing ever. It turned out to be the worst thing ever.

In actual fact, the Universe did try to warn me.

On the Sunday morning after I had first bumped into Evil Anne, I went for a visit to my mother’s house. One of my brothers and his wife also pitched up. We were chatting about this and that when I remembered that my brother and his wife would probably know Evil Anne. They also had a business in Uitenhage, where she was well known (mostly for all the wrong reasons). I excitedly shared that I had bumped into Evil Anne and that we had a date later that day.

Their horrified reactions astounded me.

“Stay away from that woman. She is bad news!”

I was completely taken aback. I really didn’t want to hear anything bad about Evil Anne.

“If you bring that woman into this family, we will cut all ties with you,” they continued.

I simply could not believe what I was hearing. Here I was on an absolute high and already partly emotionally invested in the idea of Evil Anne and I … and my family were giving me very serious warnings to stay away from her. It really was not what I wanted to hear. They did not elaborate much, but it was clear that they were horrified that I might get involved with this woman.

Again, I had the opportunity to either follow the left fork or the right fork in the road. Again, I chose to stay on the wrong road. You see, this particular brother and his wife were the source of constant trouble and discord in our family. For that reason, I struggled to find any credibility in what they were saying. Had the warning came from another brother of mine, I would really have taken it seriously. In this instance, I convinced myself to take it from whom it came.

This time, I should have listened to them.

I should have listened to them!

I should have fucking listened to them!!

I did NOT.

I was warned.

The decision I was about to make was going to destroy a huge part of my life.

It was also going to destroy our happy little family life.

It almost destroyed Little Jay’s matric year.

I should have listened….!

The alarm bells were ringing loud and clear, but I simply ignored them in my desperation to find the love of my life.

That evening, I went out for dinner with Evil Anne. My brother’s warning was in the back of my mind. I told her about it and asked if she knew why they would feel the way they did. My heart melted when she broke down in tears. She claimed that people had been victimizing her in Uitenhage, because she was a successful business woman. She also claimed that females were jealous of her, because she was single and got a lot of attention from married men. She informed me that she suffered from depression and that she sometimes did and said stupid things. She played the innocent victim card to perfection. She had me eating out her hand. I was completely fooled. She said married men were lusting after her because she was vulnerable and naive … she didn’t invite or encourage their advances.

Little did I know that affairs with married men were her thing … and little did I know that she – in fact – was the guilty party whom cunningly had put out the bait and lured the married men into her trap. When they did get trapped by the web she had spun for them, she quickly changed her role to that of the naive innocent party. As soon as her multiple affairs with married were exposed or didn’t work out, she branded them as adulterous perverts whom chased after her and exploited her innocence and naivity. Every single one of them then became “men whom sexually abused her.” One of them was even accused of raping her. A case was never opened with the police. Telling….

I was totally unaware of all this at that stage. I swallowed her convincing lies hook, line and sinker. She was utterly convincing … a sly and cunning master manipulator.

Then she dropped the bomb that my brother was one of the married men whom were chasing after her. My jaw dropped to the floor. I could not believe what I was hearing. In that instant, she took away all the credibility my brother’s warning to me could have had. She was an expert in diverting the attention away from her. In that instant she managed to paint herself as the innocent victim whom my brother had pursued. When their little fling was exposed, he and his wife became vindictive towards her. That was the story she spun in utterly convincing fashion, with tears streaming down her face.

I fell for it.

Her cunningly crafted lies, presented in her utterly convincing fashion with tears and extreme sorrow on her face, had me on her side. In that instant, I swore to protect her against all of these perverted bastards (as I believed them to be then).

Just like that, Evil Anne had managed to trap me in her evil and crazy world. Her cute, naive and innocent appearance supported by the masterful way in which she portrayed herself as the innocent victim, won me over with no effort at all.

Today, I will see through someone like her within a few minutes. At that stage, I was too desperate to find a good life partner on the one hand and too inexperienced on the other to grasp what I was dealing with. I simply had never met someone like her before. I was about to be taken to school, big time.

* * *

A new post in the true life horror story – The alienation of my son, Sam – will be published every Wednesday.

Be sure to hit the Follow button at the bottom of this page if you would like to be notified immediately when I publish new content.

How have I remained completely sickness free for the past six years?

Over the past six years, I have remained totally unaffected by colds, flu and stomach bugs (or anything else, for that matter). This happened, despite coming into regular direct contact with numerous sick people. At first, I didn’t realise what was happening, but – after a while – I realised that I simply wasn’t getting sick as per usual.

A year went by … then two. Slowly, a pattern was developing.

I found it very strange that I wasn’t getting sick. Up until April 2014, it was a certainty that I would get numerous colds each year and flu at least once … mostly twice. The stomach bug also visited like clockwork. Headaches were common. Everyone I know goes through the same ordeal each year. They all get colds, flu, headaches and the stomach bug. It is just part of life … as are taxes. Right?

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

I last had flu in April 2014 … and it was a bad one. For one week, I was out for the count. That was nothing strange for me. I remember the year before that, I lost 3kg within one week due to a severe bout of flu. I was very unhealthy and unfit at the time, which contributed to the severity of the infections.

See that miserably unhappy dude? That was me in 2008.

That was my physical appearance from 2006 up to April 2014. I was severely overweight and not a shadow of my former self. Simple things, like tying my shoelaces, became a mission. My stomach was in the way. Walking up stairs was painful and demanding. My knees hurt and I was out of breath when I got to the top. I moved and felt like an old man. Apart from constantly getting infected by colds, flu and the tummy bug, I also suffered from very painful gout. At one stage, it was so bad that I could barely walk. I was in severe pain and discomfort.

Being as unhealthy as I was, my erections were very weak.

That’s never a good thing for a man to experience.

Apart from all of the above, my body also rebelled against my unhealthy lifestyle by developing psoriasis. I developed ugly and itchy rashes all over my body. I felt uncomfortable even while sleeping.

I had severe rashes and my skin was always itching. I felt like a lizard….

I had such an issue with my overweight appearance that I tried to avoid going out in public, unless it was really necessary.

I became reclusive.

My wife at that time told me to accept that I am older and to make peace with the idea that I can never again look as good as I did in my earlier years. Those words sounded like a depressing jail sentence to me. I was horrified. To me it seemed that her insecurities would prefer that I remain overweight, unhealthy and unappealing to other women. In my mind, love meant that you wanted your partner to be the best version of himself/herself … and we should encourage and support them to be just that.

That’s my idea of real love.

I strongly disagreed with her statement. I believed that anyone could look as good or better in their forties and fifties than they did in their twenties and thirties.

I knew why I looked and felt as I did. I was the one to blame.

I was the one who always had too much too eat. Having seconds, even when I was already full, was normal to me. I was the “go to guy” to help empty out pots. I lived to eat…. I did not eat to live. I had zero control over myself.

I was the one who stuffed my face with chocolates, deserts and cakes almost on a daily basis. If there were chocolates, deserts or any sweet treats in the house, I would find it and finish it. There was no “keeping for tomorrow.” My family knew they had to hide their chocolates and sweets from me … yet I still managed to find their stash.

I have a severe sweet tooth … one I had to learn to manage.

I was the one who didn’t do any exercise. I was a fitness freak until 2006, but then completely lost my way until April 2014, while I was involved with my ex wife. She is not to blame … I lost my focus, drive and passion in life. It was all my own doing. I made the choices, I did. I placed myself in the situations, I did.

I was the one who didn’t appreciate my body and have the pride and discipline to look after it. I neglected the two most important things any person can ever have … body and health. Luckily, I was never a smoker or a drinker.

It was way easier to just let myself go, than look after myself.

As a result, I was desperately unhappy within my skin. I was married to the wrong person and struggling financially. I was unhealthy, uncomfortable and unfulfilled. I knew there was more to life than to waste it like I was doing. I was disgusted with myself and what I had become.

I knew I had to make drastic changes if I wanted to lead the happy and fulfilled life I dreamt of.

Thats what I did.

The first thing I changed, was to get rid of the person I was married to. She was not good for me in any way. It was not easy to walk out on her while I was struggling financially, but once I realized what I had to do to change my life for the better, I boldly went for it … and never looked back.

I literary left with only the clothes on my back.

It was noticeable that my finances improved dramatically within a short period of time after I had parted ways with her. Being rid of her negative and toxic energy, I could flourish again. This reinforced to me that I had taken a step in the right direction to take my life back.

At that time, I heard much talk on the radio about a new book of which Dr. Tim Noakes was a co-author. I was a huge fan of Dr. Noakes … and when I heard about the book, I went out to buy a copy simply because I trusted and respected him (even though I have never met him).

The Real Meal Revolution was the name of the book and it promoted the Banting lifestyle. If I am not mistaken, it is similar to the Keto lifestyle.

After I bought a copy, I didn’t waste time in reading it from end to end.

The book was life changing.

The simple logic resonated with me.

Only consume real and fresh foods and drinks.

Only eat real and fresh foods. It is simple logic.

Adopt a permanent healthy lifestyle.

Take note of the word lifestyle. Diets don’t work, period.

Become physically active … even if you only go for a walk a few times per week.

As simple as that.

Had this book promoted an unsustainable and illogical diet, I would not have bought it.

This book promoted a permanent change in lifestyle … a sustainable, simple and logical approach to becoming healthy and then to stay healthy.

The book contained a Green list, an Orange list and a Red list. The Green list contained all the foods and drinks you could freely consume. The Orange list contained foods and drinks you should consume with caution. The Red list contained foods and drinks you should never consume.

These lists makes pure logical sense. It is all about choice, respecting your body and being in control of yourself.

The day after I read the book, I went into the kitchen and cleared my grocery cupboards of all the items listed in the Red list. I filled six large grocery bags with pastas, sugar, cereal, rice, sweets, cookies, flour, bread, etc. These were basically all the items you will find in the middle aisles of a grocery store … in other words, pre-packaged and artificial stuff full of preservatives.

Moses, my garden worker, could not believe his luck when I gave him six grocery bags stuffed with the food I no longer wanted in the house. On top of that, I also gave him a large, unopened, bag of potatoes.

That dude could not stop smiling.

The only items that remained in the house, were those on the Green and Orange lists. From that day onwards, I avoided the middle aisles of the grocery shops and only bought items listed in the Green and Orange lists.

Fast food shops became absent in my life. They simply held no attraction for me anymore. KFC, McDonald’s and their kind simply seized to exist for me. I did not long for them … in fact, I would have felt embarrassed to be seen at places like that. They were reduced to junk status in my mind.

My daughter and I taught our bodies to become used to less and less sugar in our coffee and tea, until we were totally sugar free. Today, I cringe with disgust if I taste just half a spoon of sugar in coffee or tea. I don’t buy sugar … I don’t use sugar for anything … in my mind, it is pure poison.

From that day in late April 2014, I started eating only two meals per day … and I still do to this very day.

My breakfasts changed from cereals to bacon and eggs … or sausage and eggs … or patties and eggs. I will never have more than 150g to 200g portions of bacon, sausage or patties … and no more than three eggs per day. With that, I will have a tomato and a few slices of cucumber … or my favourite, avocado.

Being a coffee snob, I brew myself four cups of good quality filter coffee (grounded beans) every morning … and that is it for the day. No more than that. No sugar, of course. I won’t ever touch instant coffee.

Nothing beats freshly ground and brewed coffee. Smell that aroma?

That keeps me full until supper. If I do feel hungry, I will have a handful of nuts or fatty biltong (dried meat). I sometimes also have an apple or a banana.

Important to note, that I don’t peck and nibble at all. I have two structured meals per day and a lunch-time snack (only when really hungry). That’s it.

Two litres of clean water a day is non-negotiable. It helps greatly with hunger pains … apart from giving you a youthful and healthy appearance. Water simply makes you feel healthy inside and out.

By 4pm or 5pm, I am ready for exercise. At first, I just walked around the neighbourhood, because I was very unfit. After a while I started jogging slowly and only for short distances.

Simply walking around the neighbourhood is fantastic for the mind and body.

At first I regularly looked for any excuse imaginable to skip exercise. The trick was to keep my focus by reminding myself where I wanted to be. I knew I had to stop postponing and making excuses. I realised change would only come if I persisted in taking small steps in the right direction every single day. I had to keep going until it became a habit. When it did, it became something I looked forward to every day. My sacred time. The highlight of my day. Once my mind became programmed that 5pm to 7pm is exercise time, I struggled to do anything else during that time.

For supper, I will have a good quality protein (fish, chicken, red meat or pork) in not more than 150g to 200g portions, with lots of fresh and clean veggies.

Ok … Ok … my meals do not look nearly as good as this, but they are equally tasty and healthy.

I will then have one or two cups of tea every evening. Need I say, no sugar?

To this very day, my meals and days are structured in this way, no matter where I find myself on my travels. It really works for me. I only eat until I am satisfied … never more. I now eat to live … not live to eat.

I must add that a totally plant based diet would probably also reap the same rewards. I am not promoting a vegan or non-vegan lifestyle. I am merely stating what has worked for me from my own experience. I am currently looking into the vegan lifestyle and might go that route at some stage.

When I am visiting friends or family, I choose what I will eat or drink. If the choices are all bad, I will politely decline. I am in control. I really have developed a repulsion towards unhealthy foods that can offer me nothing, but an unhealthy body and a lethargic feeling.

When I am in a coffee shop, I choose not to eat the little cookie or sweet treat I get with each cup. I want to … but I don’t. Micro decisions … Macro results.

Of course it is critically important to have one day per week when I simply switch off and relax. On that day, I will have sweet treats … and sometimes even a cheat meal. I also don’t exercise on that day. I have become so disciplined that I don’t overindulge on the cheat days. I will have a chocolate and a piece of cake (sometimes two) and I will savour and enjoy them … but once they are gone, I will immediately turn my focus back to my healthy lifestyle.

I do have my cheat days one day per week.

I find that I prefer the Banting meals to the cheat meals … even on cheat days. They are just so tasty and filled with energy and goodness that my body does not crave anything else….

Discipline, focus and willpower are what I have developed. I am in control of my mind, body and the choices I make. Food is no longer in control of me. My body has become my temple and I only feed it with good and healthy stuff.

Today, I am super fit and healthy. I do crossfit and find it absolutely addictive. The amazing thing is that I look better … feel better … am more healthy … am stronger … and have more energy than ever before in my life.

At age 54, I am only getting better, fitter and stronger with each passing day.

At 54, I am now more defined than ever before in my life.

Tells a story, doesn’t it?

On top of that, I have not been sick in any way since April 2014 up to this very day. Six years and counting.

No colds.

No flu.

No tummy bugs.

No gout attacks.

No psoriasis flare ups.

My erections are again as strong as can be. Happy days.

I maybe get two very light headaches per year (mostly when I buy a cooked meal that’s slightly off), but two disprins later and they are gone within thirty minutes.

Lucky, you say?

I beg to differ.

Healthy is the word.

Remember, I used to be very susceptible to colds, flu, headaches, nausea and the like. I was unhealthy inside and out. It all changed when I chose to be in control of myself and to adopt a healthy lifestyle.

Your body reacts to what you consume. You are what you eat, period. Your body will either rebel or reward you depending on your eating and drinking habits … and whether you are physically active or not.

It really is so simple….

It is noteworthy to mention that I was also very fit and in shape up to 2006, BUT I did get the regular colds and flu’s like everyone else. Like most of my current friends, I was in great shape, but did get sick every year.

What is the difference between then and now?

Why did I get sick then, but not now?

The answer is very simple.

Back then, many of the items on the Red list were part of my daily diet. I lived on pastas, rice, potatoes, fruit juices and all their evil brothers and sisters. I also had about two fast food take away meals every week. KFC and McDonald’s knew me well. The moment I changed what I consumed from Red list rubbish to only real and fresh foods, I stopped getting sick.

I also have not had a flu injection for the past ten years….

My imune system simply became superior, because I am healthy from the inside out. I hug and touch people infected with flu and colds, but I simply do not get infected at all.

Your results may differ from mine, but I guarantee you that you will become a totally different person (in a very good way) if you simply choose to only put simple, healthy and fresh foods and drinks into your body. A lot of the issues or discomfort you currently may be experiencing, will disappear like mist before the sun, guaranteed.

Eat to live … don’t live to eat.

You have one life … treasure it.

It’s up to you, buddy….

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Introduction to my Blog

Welcome to my blog. This is a huge moment in my life … one I have been dreaming of for a very long time. This is just a short introductory note to tell you what you can expect from this blog.

I will cover various topics ranging from my true life experiences, my adventures, my travels, my personal growth and the life lessons I have learned. I will be totally open and honest as far as true life experiences are concerned … they will keep you spellbound, I am sure.

I believe I can offer a huge amount of inspiration and motivation to many people out there. All of these were born from my own experiences and growth. I will teach you and guide you to appreciate even the smallest things in life … and also to be the best version of yourself.

I will write extensively about the alienation of my little boy from me. This content will be delivered under the heading of My son, Sam. If you are only into the feel good stuff, you will be able to identify and avoid disturbing blogs relating to this topic.

I will take you on all my travels where I will share my experiences and introduce magical new places to you. I am very sure my blogs in this regard will motivate you to look these places up. If not, they will simply make you feel good and leave you entertained. Some of these places might be right on your doorstep….

I will share my spirituality with you. I will show you how I have been manifesting a great deal of things and how gratitude and a positive attitude forms a huge part of my daily existence.

Being a stutterer, I will tell you how I have dealt with, accepted and embraced my speech impediment. All of us have issues. Hopefully my story will help you to deal with yours.

I will teach you how to adopt and embrace a healthy lifestyle and how to look and feel better than you have ever done in your life. At 54, I can honestly say that I look better, feel better, am stronger, more healthy and fitter than ever before in my life. And I am just getting better in every way with each passing day. It really is so easy to achieve. I want you to be the best you can be at any age.

I hope my blog will entertain you … inspire you … motivate you … teach you new things … allow you to see life in a different way … make you cry … make you laugh … make you feel good … and guide you to be the best version of yourself.

I want this blog to be the highlight of your day … something to look forward to.

Please enjoy the ride with me by subscribing to and following my blog.

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