Be the dream person.

Relationships are probably the most complicated aspect of life any human will ever have to deal with. It is a constant war out there. A war to find and conquer the love of your life … and then to keep that person. Deep down, that’s probably what we all want … that one person with whom we could live happily ever after. We fall in love … we fall out of love. Someone we really liked and loved at first, can become someone we truly dislike – and even hate – further along the line. Hearts get broken … we shed tears. Some even see it as a game to win as many hearts over as possible. Others toy with emotions simply to get into the pants of another.

I am guilty of all of the above.

I have loved geniunely.

I have toyed with emotions.

I have broken hearts.

I have actively pursued cheap sexual gratification (no, not the type you pay for).

Been there, done that. I have got all the t-shirts.

Inbetween all of the chaos, you will sometimes find two people who find each other and stay together for the rest of their lives. They get married and stay married. They remain life long partners. Dare I say that they are in the minority? I am not sure of this statement, but I think most marriages end up in divorce. I should rather say, that the majority of people have been divorced at least once.

I am 54-years old. I have been married and am divorced. I am the only one of my siblings who is not with the person I had married the first time around. All three my brothers and my sister, found their love, got married, had kids and built a life with that person. All of them are still with that very same first love to this day.

Where did I fall out from?

I am the odd one out in my family.

I am the only one who has been divorced (more than once). I am the only one who does not use alcohol. I am the only one who has never touched a cigarette in my life. I am the only one who has followed an academic career. I am the only one who has not strived for the white picket fence. I am the only one who has led an adventurous life books can be written about. I am truly different in every way. I am a very complex person, I must admit. I am the most relaxed and easy-going dude you will ever encounter, but at the same time, I am also extremely deep and have a repulsion towards unacceptable behaviour. I simply think nothing of walking away when I lose my respect or feelings for someone. I am brutal in that way.

I am a person of extremes. Either I do something full out, or not at all.

Although I truly wanted to settle down with one person and remain with her forever, I simply have not been able to do so. I have questioned why love has sidestepped me on many occasions. OK, let’s be honest … I have found love, but it was one sided. They loved me, I didn’t love them. When I did love them, it was only briefly so. I did truly love my first wife for most of our fourteen years together. I guess she can be called the love of my life to date. Yes, I did truly love her for a very long time. She was perfect for me at first, but things changed as the years sped by.

The problem is that I constantly grow. The person I was even two years ago, compared to who I am today, are vastly different people. So although I loved my first wife, I grew emotionally, intellectually and spiritually, while she remained the same person … even up to this present day. The end result was that I simply had to leave her behind, because we had nothing in common after fourteen years together.

From then on, I simply could not find anyone worth keeping. I was hungry for love. I have so much love I can give to the right person … and that’s the problem … I simply have never found that right person. Nobody has ever unlocked and experienced my true self. Some have never seen the side only my true love will see and experience. Different people bring out different things in us, after all. To be honest, I tripped myself up in spectacular fashion. I dated all the wrong women for all the wrong reasons. By doing that, I simply pushed the right person away, because I was too busy wasting my time and energy on the wrong women.

While I am writing this, I also realize that my ideal woman would never have liked me ten years ago … also not five years ago. The perfect woman for me has been out of my reach, because I was not yet on her level. I first had to grow as a person. For that reason, I first had to date all the wrong people. I had to learn some tough life lessons and I had to grow in every possible way.

I also had to develop and understand my INFJ personality. You see, I have the ability to see through people in a very short time. Nothing goes unnoticed with me. Each comment … each facial expression … everything tells me something. I can see deep into people’s souls. Senseless conversations, shallow people and pretentious behaviour are huge turnoffs. I am mostly bored stiff with most people after a few minutes. There are people I can sleep with and people I can date. When the sex is done, I cannot bring myself to put up with someone I cannot date. Then she has to go home. Every moment with them becomes torture then. There are many things I would rather be doing than offer up my time and energy with someone I cannot date.

Sorry, that’s the brutal truth.

Even during my wild days, I always longed for that one special person whom I could settle down with and be happy with forever. If I had any choice, I would pick someone and stay with her to the end of my days. I was a reluctant player. I played, because I could not find the right one to settle down with. Now that was the problem. By becoming impatient, I associated myself with the wrong women for all the wrong reasons. How would my dream woman ever be attracted to me while I was playing the field? It was never going to happen. I realised that … eventually.

So, six years ago, I realized that I must stop dating women just for the sake of dating. I also realized that I had to stop spending time with the wrong women, if I hoped to attract the right one. I realized one very simple thing: if I wanted to attract the love of my life, I had to be the dream man she was looking for. I had to live it. Be it. Day in and day out. I had to be the dream man, in every way, every single day.

Now that’s a tough task, for a shallow person … which I am thankfully not. I am a very deep person (although very few people have ever been allowed to experience that side of me).

That’s when my life changed course.

I stopped my sleeping around right then and there. I retired my trusty old six shooter.

I embraced the change with a passion. As I previously said, I am a man of extremes. When I commit to something, I go all out.

The first thing I did, was to visualise the type of woman I wanted. Then I visualised the type of man this woman would be attracted to. Then I had to become that man. See, I am not into fortune seekers … so I was not going to prosper simply to attract a certain (shallow) type of woman into my life. Fortune seekers won’t last a week in my world, no matter how beautiful they are. I am after a woman with substance. I was going to prosper to give my dream woman and myself a good life, not because that was what she was after. She has to be a woman who will love me no matter what my bank balance is.

Would she like that I hop from woman to woman? Nope … so I stopped doing that. I became exclusive and selfish with myself. I only sleep with someone I really fancy long term. I don’t even go for coffee with any woman I could not see myself dating, unless we are geniune friends. I had to purify myself … become completely celibate. Save myself only for the right woman. I became selfish with myself and who I spent my time with. I wanted a woman with the same qualities, so I also had to adopt a lifestyle reflecting these qualities. I do not want a town bicycle … and so, I had to stop being a town bicycle myself.

It was no use that I was looking for certain qualities in a woman, when I was not displaying those same qualities … even when nobody was watching. The fact is, I realised that my behaviour might not be seen by other humans, but the Universe does not miss a thing. Everything you do and say sends out a certain message … an energy. That energy will draw in more of the same energy. So, it is important to send out the right frequency or energy, because you attract what you are.

I was never going to be interested in any woman who loved bars, clubs, smoking and alcohol. These were easy to avoid as I have never been into any of those. I realised that I had to become part of groups or clubs involving things I enjoyed doing, like hiking, crossfit, mountain biking and people appreciating healthy lifestyles. By doing that, I would meet likeminded people … and hopefully, the love of my life. I could never date a couch patoto and people who lived to eat. We simply would not have anything in common, would we?

I was also never going to be interested in religous fanatics. The delusional mindset is not for me. I want someone who is just a beautiful, loving and kind person for no reason at all. No religious paybacks, nothing. Being spiritual is good … being overly religious is not appealing at all. So, a church is not a place I would look for a partner, but your needs might differ from mine. If religion is important to you, go to church and associate yourself with likeminded people. We all have our own interests. Follow yours.

Getting involved with married women, was also never going to happen. I have been approached by so many married women, simply wanting to use me for sex, but I always declined. I kid you not … I have received numerous indecent proposals from married women over the years. Most of them were inbetween forty and fifty years old. Seems that’s a very dangerous age for married women. Luckily, I was never even tempted to accept the open invitations directed toward me.

I cannot put out such negative energy into the Universe. It can only draw in bad things to me. Apart from that, I realise that any woman, who will cheat on her partner or husband, will cheat on me too. A person like that, is not worth it. A person like that, does not possess the integrity and qualities I want in a woman. I won’t be associated with that type of person. I will only ever get involved with someone who is divorced and free to date. I will NEVER become involved with a married woman. My advice to you is also to never cross that line. Nothing good can come from it. A cheater will remain a cheater. As he/she cheated on their partner with you, so he/she will cheat on you. Cheating is not a characteristic I want in my life, nor admire. I want none of it.

Being very particular what I find appealing in a woman, I realised that I had to become very distinguished and remarkable in many ways to ensure that I will attract that one special lady. So, I have been reinventing myself over the past six years. I am continually striving to be the dream man, for the right woman by doing the following:

HONESTY & INTEGRITY: I am open and honest. I do not lie. If I am wrong, I will own up to it and admit it and use that experience to better myself. Integrity is key. I want a woman who is open, honest and displays true integrity … so I also live my life by those same qualities. Only by being what I want in my dream woman, will I be able to attract her.

HEALTHY LIFESTYLE: I always look my best and I work hard on maintaining a youthful and healthy appearance. I eat to live, not live to eat. I am fit and healthy. I can never attract someone with the same mindset and lifestyle if I have not embraced the same principles to live my life by. I take pride in my appearance, because I know my dream woman would want to be proud of me (and vice versa).

SUCCESSFUL CAREER: I always strive to be better and sharper in my career. I constantly develop my skills and make sure I know all there is to know. When I do something, I either do it as best I am able to, or I don’t do it at all. That goes for everything in my life, to be honest. At age fifty-four I am now also a student, who is finalising his degree in architecture. I am tying all the loose ends in my life. I want a together woman, so it is only fair to be a together man.

BEHAVIOUR: My daily behaviour is always dignified, respectful and easy going. Even when I am angry, I will never scream and shout. I will always address any issue in a rational and dignified way … and I will never get involved in mud slinging or arguments. Emotional maturity is very important to me. I display the same and I want the same in my partner. The surest way to see me walking away, is to behave in an unacceptable and irrational manner. I simply do not tolerate stupidity. It is like flicking a switch in my head … one minute I respect you, the next you will lose all credibility and respect, simply based on your behaviour. This is probably the most challenging characteristic to find. To me this one is a real deal breaker. I can work around many things, but not around this one. I am hopeful to find someone dignified and rational, as I am. I simply cannot settle for anything less.

EASY GOING: I am the most relaxed person in the world. My mood is always pleasant and friendly. Is it too hard to ask for the same? We all have bad days, but surely we can laugh at our problems and display a positive attitude. I want people to feel comfortable, safe and happy around me … and I can only associate myself with a partner with the same qualities. I really don’t want to dislike her. I want to like her even when she is in a bad mood. That can only happen if she will be easy going, rational and emotionally mature.

You might have your own list of things you would like to see in a partner. Whatever that list involves, you got to be it … live it. Be specific. If you are not specific, you will get just anybody … and I promise you such a generalised approach will rarely have a good outcome. The bottom line is:

You attract who you are.

You attract what you are.

You attract what you identify with.

You have to remain the dream person (and get better at it) over the years, or you won’t be able to keep your dream person. If you change for the worse or let yourself go, don’t be surprised when your partner leaves you. Always become better and more powerful in every way. Never stagnate. Never become a shadow of the person he/she fell in love with. Grow in every possible way. Reinvent yourself on a constant basis.

If you happen to constantly attract the same type of wrong people into your life, it is time to look deep inside yourself and change your own core values. It is time to change who you are. It is time to become the person you wish to attract into your life.

That’s what I have done six years ago. In the past six years, I have only dated three women. The longest one lasted thirteen months. Now if you know me, you will understand that I have completely changed my behaviour from dating woman after woman, to being very selective who I date. Anybody who knew me more than six years ago, will tell you that I had quite a bad reputation with women. These people will tell you that they cannot see me changing my ways, like I did. Well they are in for a surpise, because the good and pure person in me has come to the fore … because that is what I want in a partner.

The three women I had dated over the past six years, were all women who would have been out of my league before, because I was too raw and unpolished. I have now become so polished and accomplished that I am attracting better and better into my life. I am truly attracting very high class women into my life, simply because of who I have become. I am very happy to be single (and prefer to be single) if I cannot date a woman with certain qualities. I would rather be single till the end of my days, than settle for anything less than someone reflecting my own qualities and standards.

Let go of the wrong relationships. Don’t stay … it is unfair to both of you. Reinvent yourself. Be the person you wish to attract. Live it. Be it. Display the characteristics you want in your ideal partner.

That person will come. That person will be attracted into your life, as if by magic.

I am still waiting for that special one, but I am cool with it. Even if I never find her, I will still have improved my life for the better in every possible way … and that’s a very good thing. I am turning myself into a powerful and accomplished person … and there are so much peace, gratification and contentment in that.

Even if I never find her, I know she is admiring me from afar.

Yes, I see you. I feel you. I know you also long for me.

I would rather be admired and respected from afar, than be involved with someone whom I have settled for. Rather than settle, I prefer to stay single and always keep reinventing myself … and being happy and content by myself and with the man I have become.

Let’s face it, you have to be very special to win me over … and keep me.

If we have the same heart, the same core values and move on the same frequency, we will find each other. Until that day, I will make love to only you in my dreams … I will shower you with a love only reserved for you in everything I do (even though we are not yet together). I will remain committted to only you every day. I can feel you. You are out there. I cannot share my love and my body and my dreams with anybody but you.

Those are only reserved for you.

I would rather live with you in my imagination, then settle for anyone that is not you.

You are special like that.

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Predict your future based on your daily habits and rituals.

What you do today, predicts your future. Your daily rituals, habits and behaviour will accurately predict where you will end up in the future. Guaranteed. This is an absolute science … or a law of the Universe. Simply by observing people and their daily habits, we can predict where that person is going to end up later in life. It is therefore critical to use this knowledge to your advantage by adopting the right daily rituals, habits and behaviours.

I remember a case in South Africa, where an older sister stabbed her younger sister to death. Both were teenagers and the case shocked us all to the core. After initially trying to lie her way out of it, the older sister was eventually exposed and jailed. You might think that she served her penalty in jail and that all was forgiven. The Universe does not work like that. Her actions predicted much worse for her. Her actions predicted that she would lead a tormented life and die at a young age. It happened exactly like that. She died in a motor vehicle accident a short while after she was released from prison.

Spare a thought for the poor mother.

In another shocking case, a man stopped his car by the side of the road and shot his wife and two toddlers to death in a time when politcal unrest in South Africa was at a high. He tried to shift the blame to black people, who supposedly attacked his family. His lies were exposed and he was jailed. Again, his behaviour predicted that he would lead a tormented life and that he would die at a young age. Again, it happened exactly like that. Shortly after his release from prison, he was electrocuted and died on the scene.

Who didn’t see that coming?

Let’s consider road rage. Are you guilty of frequent aggression and interaction with other drivers? If so, you better stop. Before you know it, you will end up in a self created accident … or be beaten up … or shot. Or you will end up beating someone up or killing them. Your life will change forever in that instant. Not in a positive way. Even if you are able to avoid the abovementioned, you will simply draw in negative energy into your life by participating in negative and destructive actions such as road rage. My own brother suffered the consequences of a road rage incident. His body will never be the same … neither will his quality of life ever be what it could and would have been if he simply chose to take the next turnoff and drive away from an explosive situation. Instead, he chose to pursue engagement with the other driver and the end result was that his neck was broken. In that instant, his life changed for the worst … forever.

I remember always warning him not to get involved in road rage. Despite my best efforts, my warnings were ignored … and what I predicted would happen, did happen. When it did happen, it was too late to wish he had listened and backed off from an explosive situation. His actions predicted his future, long before it actually happened.

It really is so simple to understand.

I am always amazed by the comments from overweight and unhealthy people, stating that they cannot understand why they cannot lose weight or that they are self conscious about their bodies, etc. The simple truth is that their own bad daily habits are the cause for them being overweight and unhealthy. As Tony Robbins mentioned in one of his workshops (not his exact words, but similar): “Just by looking at the people in front of me, I can accurately predict what rituals you follow every day. Those that are in shape, will have a daily ritual of eating healthy foods, drinking healthy drinks and being disciplined. They will also be physically active. Those that are overweight and unhealthy will have daily rituals involving unhealthy eating, indiscipline and physical inactivity.” It really is as simple as that. Your daily rituals clearly predict where you will end up. You can either be fifty and have a youthful appearance, be stronger and better then ever before … or you can be fifty and have the appearance of a sixty-five year old person. I see this every day of my life. So many sicknesses and disease can be avoided simply by adopting the correct daily rituals and habits.

Let me tell you: It is easy to predict who will end up with cancer, diabetes or some other disease. Your daily rituals and habits will predict your future very accurately. Simply by looking at your daily eating and drinking regime, it can be predicted where you will end up in life … sooner or later.

You have the power to write your own script … be it negative or positive.

Let’s consider relationships or marriage. I bet I can predict with an high degree of accuracy which relationships or marriages will last and which won’t. If I observe people long enough, I will be able to spot daily rituals and habits that wil either lead to a long, lasting and happy marriage or one that will end up in divorce or constant unhappiness and conflict. It really is not rocket science. If you hang out in bars, abuse alcohol, flirt with other people, are dishonest, deceitful and constantly fight with your partner (or scream and shout at your poor children), you can rest assured that your relationship is doomed for failure. Your behaviour and rituals predict the outome of any relationship.

You can never say, “I didn’t see that one coming.”

How about if you use, abuse and cheat your way through life? Think you will lead a happy and fulfilled retired life? Think again. If you are not dead by fifty, you will end up with all kinds of illnesses, disease and unhappiness … guaranteed. The majority of your life will be unpleasant, uncomfortable and unhappy, despite the fortune you may have accumulated.

Why do you think people end up homeless on the streets? Bad luck? There is no such thing. It all boils down to the choices they have made in life. Your daily rituals and habits will predict if you will become homeless or not. Each homeless person out there has a (true) story that will make it clear why they ended up being homeless. They wrote their own script. Their daily actions and rituals caused them to be homeless and poor. Nobody else is to blame … they steered their own lives towards the inevitable result.

The truth is undeniable.

If you don’t educate yourself, you will never prosper professionally. With that, I don’t mean you must achieve a degree (although that’s an excellent thing to do). I mean that you must educate yourself in your chosen field of interest. You can drop out of school in Grade eight, but become a multi-millionare because of the skills you have acquired in your chosen profession. The point is you will become a creator of jobs … never work for someone else. Your passion and willingness to improve your skillset will propel you upwards professionally. Doors will open for you. Those that simply work their nine to five boring job, which they hate, but never educate themselves and expand their skillsets, cannot go on to bigger and better things. Their daily actions and rituals predict where they will end up further in the future (still unhappy and still stuck in their boring nine to five jobs).

I am always astounded by criminals and their short sighted behaviour. By being the criminals they are, they are simply dooming themselves to a short and unpleasant life. Live by the sword, die by the sword. If you riot and loot and destroy things, you are only dooming yourself to a life of uphill struggle, poverty, fear and unhappiness. It is a vicious cycle of negative energy that will hold you captive for as long (or short) as you live. Again, your actions and behaviour predicts your future….

There are those today who wants everything for free. They are unable to provide for themselves and live to drink their weekends away. Some even want their tertiary education for free. What will the end result be? Their behaviour predicts their future. They will always have the victim mentality and will never prosper in life. They will always remain someone else’s problem. The system must always look after them. They will always live from hand to mouth and will never be in demand professionally.

The manner in which you treat your clients and the quality of service you deliver, will predict how successful you will be in your career. Always deliver passionate work and always having a good attitude and enjoyable personality … and you will always be in demand, even during difficult times. The colour of your skin is never a predictor of how successful you will be in life. Definitely not. Only your actions, daily rituals, passion and commitment to good service delivery, will either make you highly in demand or cause you to struggle. You write that script … nobody else … and not the colour of your skin.

If you have the nasty habit of living in the past … always uttering negative words … thinking negative thoughts … wishing bad things onto others … always playing the victim … you are predicting your own future. You will have a life of negativity, bad luck and unpleasant situations. Life will be difficult for you. Guaranteed.

By associating yourself with the wrong people … or the wrong behaviour … we can predict your future with accuracy. Your life will continue on that downward spiral associated with people and behaviour like that. Nothing good can come from making the wrong choices.

If you have dreams and goals you would like to achieve, your own action and daily rituals will predict if you are going to reach those goals and dreams. If you talk a lot, but do nothing, you will look back in a year from now and still be no further along the road to realise those dreams and goals. However, if you start by taking one step towards that goal every single day, you WILL achieve that goal. That sense of accomplishment will propel you to achieve even more and better dreams and goals.

Let me share with you my daily rituals and habits:

I work for myself from home. I have been doing so since January 1994. The one thing I quickly learnt was to always make sure that I put my eight hours of productive work in each and every day. If I do that, the financial rewards will be there. My daily action in this regard also made sure that my focussed energy draws in more work to me. So, by taking one step towards the right direction every day, I am making sure that the financial rewards will be there … and new work gets drawn in to me. Now, if I lay on the coach every day or sat in a bar instead of doing my work, that would not happen, will it? Simply make sure you take a step in the right direction every day by adopting the right rituals and behaviour.

I also know that what I put into my body, will determine how I will feel and look in the days to come … so I make sure to only put good and wholesome foods and drinks into my body every single day. By doing that, I am sure to stay in shape, remain full of energy and be healthy and vibrant. Consuming the wrong foods and drinks always makes me feel lethargic and out of energy. The right foods have the opposite effect. I always focus on how I want to look and feel … and then I take the right step daily that would support that image. So, I eat right … drink right and train right every single day. Just by taking that small step in the right direction every day, I am able to always be in shape, remain fit and healthy. On top of that, I am just getting better, fitter and stronger as I age. You will not believe what I do daily in crossfit classes at the age of fifty-four. The younger version of myself will be ashamed.

The next little step I take daily is to meditate or manifest. I will always make time to sit alone somewhere or to go for a walk. While doing that, I will repeat and reinforce the eighteen or nineteen orders (or wishes) I had put in to the Universe. So, every day I remind myself what I want to achieve … and then I make sure to actively take one step forward every day for each of those wishes. By doing that, I am ensuring that I will achieve every single one of those dreams or wishes. Again, daily rituals….

The next step I take each and every day, is to grow emotionally, spiritually and intellectually … so I make sure to read something or watch something educational every evening that would make sure that I take a step forward in that area. It really is no use to postpone these positive actions to the next day when you might feel like it. Just do it, daily. Make it a habit. Feed and exercise your brain, daily. That’s a step forward, every day.

The same goes for my studies. I make time to study each and every evening. Just one step forward each and every day. That’s all that is needed to achieve whatever acadamic qualifications you are after. Don’t postpone and leave it too late, because then the mountain before you might be too big to overcome. Rather take one small step forward each and every day and the degree will be yours.

Family and friends are also important in my life. For that reason, I will make time to chat with them and keep in daily touch. Even forwarding a little joke to people who are special to me, makes sure that they know they are important to me. That little action, is like taking a step forward in making sure I reinforce and maintain the relationship with those family and friends. Receiving one message from family or friends daily, tells me that I am important to them. They are making an effort to keep in contact with me. That’s a beautiful thing. Once you lose touch, it is difficult to rebuild that connection … so I make sure to take one step forward every day by keeping in touch with those people most special to me. That simple action predicts how healthy your social and family circles will be.

Just one step per day in the right direction (towards each and every dream) is all that is required. It is like climbing a mountain. Just take one step forward … you will and must reach the top at some stage. It is inevitable. So, simply see each of your daily rituals and habits as taking one step forward towards your desired goals. You MUST and WILL achieve them of you do so.

However, unhealthy daily rituals will predict stagnation, unhappiness and ill health.

In conclusion, my daily eating and drinking behaviours and rituals predicts that I will remain healthy and fit. It also predicts that I will maintain good relationships with my family and friends. My work etchic predicts that I will flourish financially. By reading and watching educational stuff, I make sure that I am growing intellectually, spiritually and emotionally. By writing at least one page of a new book or studying one page towards my studies, we can predict that I will finalise another book and achieve another degree. By not associating myself with the wrong people, we can predict that I would probably not end up in negative situations. So simple.

Just adopt the right daily rituals and habits in every facet of your life. Take one step forward in each area. By doing that, you can safely predict your future with a high degree of accuracy.

Just one little step forward every day … in every facet of your life, is all that is required.

Write your own script.

Predict your own future, by adopting the right daily rituals and habits.

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The alienation of my son, Sam (#006)

So, now I have been cleared by the SAPS and State Prosecutor that I may see my son. Good news indeed … but what astounded me, was that these clowns – who caused total havoc and destruction in our lives – now just left us to pick up the pieces all by ourselves. Incredibly, the same idiots who repeat the phrase “it’s all about the best interests of the child,” like true parrots, did not once think of seeing to it that father and son gets reunited with each other.

Isn’t that in the best interest of the child?

Surely.

Not in the world of these incompetent idiots.

The South African Police Child Protection Sevices came into our lives and tore father and son away from each other. They assisted Evil Anne in the alienation of father and son. They used the phrase, “it’s all about the best interests of the child” to justify their support for Evil Anne. Then – after many months of doing nothing (but assisting in the alienation of father and son) they simply said, “Yes, OK you can see your child” and then left us just like that … after all the trauma, pain and destruction they had caused in our lives. In a sensible and logical system, they should then have gone all out to make sure that father and son gets reunited with each other … and that Evil Anne gets prosecuted. They did none of that. They just walked away and left us to pick up the pieces.

How is this in the best interest of the child?

These people are equally guilty of criminal behaviour as Evil Anne is. As I said before, they must and will be exposed.

The first step I took when I was cleared to see my son, was to appoint an attorney to deal directly with Evil Anne. To me, she had seized to exist as a human being. I could not bring myself to even acknowledge her in any way, let alone communicate with her on any level. It is at this time that Evil Anne tried a fast one by borrowing money to try to (again) discredit me as Sam’s father. She approached the High Court in Cape Town and tried to ambush the system, then only notified us of the court date two days before. Despite their underhanded action, we were able to respond and file opposing papers by the court date. She didn’t see that one coming. She counted on us not having enough time to respond. We stopped her in her tracks. In the next few months, we got involved in litigation, which ended in a High Court order being issued in my favour. In short, the court granted me all my wishes and rejected all of Evil Anne’s wishes. A massive victory for me and my legal team. The bottom line was that the Family Advocate was appointed to look into and report back to the court re which parent Sam should permanently live with. That has been ongoing ever since … at my cost. It is a slow and methodical (and very costly) process.

Now let me share the shocking timeline with you. This should make it very clear how Evil Anne had coached and manipulated my little boy to further her own evil agenda. Stand back and see pure evil at work:

On 18 April 2016, my ex wife was in contact with both me and Evil Anne. My ex wife was playing the role of a self appointed detective on my behalf, to establish the whereabouts of Evil Anne. I suppose she was hoping I would be so grateful for this that I would take her back. That didn’t happen. It was only then that I learnt that Evil Anne had moved away to Cape Town with my son. On 20 April 2016, the pre-school in Cape Town suddenly reported that Sam was saying negative things about me as his father. Remember how she had also coached her other son to make the same comments about her ex husband a few years before that? Yes, the same evil cycle was repeating itself.

See the coincidence? Just two days after my ex had contacted Evil Anne, my son was now suddenly making negative comments about me. You really don’t have to be a brain surgeon to understand what is going on here.

But wait … there is more.

On 17 August 2016, Advocate Linda le Roux (State Prosecutor) cleared me to see my son. This was immediately followed by a spike in negative comments from my son to the pre-school. The pre-school also fell prey to Evil Anne’s evil agenda and suddenly concluded that Sam was doing drawings with sinister meanings. These were dated 24 and 25 August 2016. Then, on 6 September 2016, the pre-school also drew sinister conclusions from another drawing Sam did, although they were not trained psychologists or social workers.

Evil Anne was clearly coaching and manipulating Sam to act for the audience, each time she heard anything from my side.

So, twice now there were immediate spikes in negative behaviour from my son immediately after events (he had no knowledge of … or should not have had any knowledge of) happened. Just a coincidence, you say? Think again.

Maybe this will convince you otherwise….

On 19 September 2016, my attorney came into contact with Evil Anne to arrange immediate visitation with my son. On 20 September 2016, the pre-school suddenly reported that Sam was scared out of his mind, because “I was on my way to come hurt him.” Now, remember, Sam should not be aware of the fact that we had contacted his mother. It is blatantly obvious how Evil Anne was coaching him to act for the audience and manipulating the pre-school to support her in her evil agenda.

So, three events (of which my five year old son should have had no knowledge of) followed by immediate negative reaction from him. The negative reaction was not staggered or random. They came immediately after there was any mention of my name to his mother (not to him). She was the one who involved him. She was the one who scared him and told him that I wanted to come hurt him. Can you imagine what that little boy had to go through? Again, I must remind you that she did the very same thing to her other son and ex husband…..

See what Evil Anne was doing?

It is so blatantly obvious.

On 18 October 2016, Evil Anne informed the pre-school that I had applied to the High Court to take Sam away from her and take over primary care. Remember, this was all done in court papers, of which Sam should know nothing. On 22 October 2016, Evil Anne got the pre-school to sit down with Sam and he made negative comments about me. It was obvious from the comments that he was coached to believe that I wanted to come hurt him. OK, it is obvious that there is a pattern here, right? Even the most devoted Evil Anne supporter would agree that there is a definite pattern on display here. Coincidence has long been ruled out.

But wait … there is even more.

On my birthday, 7 December 2016, Sam and I had our first Skype session after not seeing each other for thirteen months. I was in Port Elizabeth and he in Cape Town. A social worker supervised Sam. Despite what Evil Anne had coached Sam to say to the pre-school, he reacted the opposite way when he saw me. He blew kisses at me and told me he loved me. We had a lovely session. However, Evil Anne made sure she was nearby to hear how he interacted with me. When she heard how positively he reacted to me, she went to work on him. She then coached him and threatened (just like she did to her other son and ex husband) him to behave negatively in the following Skype session a few days thereafter. His behaviour changed like day and night. The change in his behaviour didn’t make any sense. Yet, despite her coaching, he could not maintain the false facade for long … and always ended up interacting pleasantly with me. Again, it was blatantly obvious how she was manipulating and coaching him to act for the audience in support of her evil agenda. Abusing her child in this way, didn’t matter to her. It was all about what she wanted … not about the harm she was doing to Sam … and definitely not about the best interests of the child.

On 17 December 2016, Sam and I were physically reunited with each other. His behaviour was as loving and close to me as always. He told me that he was very happy to have me back in his life. The time we spent together went brilliantly well. He did not display one moment of fear or trauma, in the absence of Evil Anne. He was up close and personal to me at all times. During this session, we saw how Evil Anne’s other son was spying on us. We pretended not to see him. Then suddenly, when Evil Anne realised that Sam was not behaving as she had coached him to do, she went to work on him with more determination. Then Sam suddenly made negative comments to me during our next physical contact session. This happened only after we had played nicely for four hours, when I announced that I had to leave. He first played lovingly and beautifully with me for a few hours and then – when I had to leave – he suddenly remembered that he better make some negative comments, otherwise his mother would punish him later. The comments were made without any feeling … he certainly didn’t mean what he said. He just mouthed the words his mother had coached him to say.

It became very obvious then how Sam would run to me in wild excitement when I arrived for physical contact sessions, but how rejected he would feel when I had to go. Despite what his mother had coached him to do and say, he knew who his father was and he felt safe with me. His loving behaviour towards me simply rubbished everything Evil Anne tried to convince everyone. Sam wanted to get into my car on numerous occassions, wanting to go with me. His behaviour said it all. The heartbreaking thing to witness was how Evil Anne was ruthlessly exposing our innocent son to emotional and psychological abuse to further her own evil agenda.

On 27 January 2017, my attorney filed 254-page thick court papers to the High Court in Cape Town. A copy was also sent to Evil Anne. Let me tell you what this wonderful mother of the year did then. Can you guess? She shared certain things from my court papers with five-year old Sam simply to get him to make negative comments against me. Things he should have had no knowledge of, was shared with him. How shocking is this? What kind of a mother involves a five-year old boy in adult litigation? Yet, nobody stepped in to take her to task. Everyone was simply observing the situation and making notes for their respective reports … never once intervening to save Sam from the emotional and psychological abuse he was being subjected to by his mother.

From then on, we all witnessed the trend of negative coaching by Evil Anne each time there was an evaluation or appointment with a social worker or a pshycologist. I told all these people even before they saw Sam that he was going to be coached to act negatively for the audience (in stark contrast to how loving he was towards me before each of those critical meetings). It happened exactly as predicted every time. It was so blatantly obvious what Evil Anne was doing behind the scenes to her innocent little child. And still, everyone just made notes on what they observed and did nothing to intervene. This traumatised me very much. I could not stand by and see how my innocent little child was being abused by his own mother. I would rather walk away and save him from the abuse he was being subjected to … but that would have played nicely into Evil Anne’s plans, wouldn’t it? That would have meant that she got away with the perfect crime … so, I simply had to stay strong and fight for justice for Sam and I.

That is where we are at present. All the evaluations and investigations have been done. Evil Anne has been exposed. Everyone involved have realised what she had done. The evidence is there for all to see. The next step is to present all the documents to the High Court and have Evil Anne prosecuted and my son placed under my permanent care. The process takes time and it is costly … very costly … but we are now almost at the end of it. We will also most certainly sue the South African Police Child Protection Services for their role in the alienation of my son and I … and then not for accepting responsibility to reunite us with each other, as they should have.

So, this is my last post about this subject. I needed to document this story for various reasons. Firstly, in the hope that I can save other parents and their children from the same fate. Secondly, to make sure the right people learn about this story so that the system can be updated and become more “best interest of the child friendly” …. because at present it is anything but. My third objective was to make sure that there is a public record of exactly what happened, so that my son would be able to learn the horrific truth, should something happen to me.

The truth must be revealed to him, period. Remember, Evil Anne did exactly the same thing to her ex-husband … and her father and stepmother also alienated her from her real mother many years ago. This is a pattern in her life.

How sad is it that an innocent little child’s life was allowed to be so brutally destroyed due to the actions of his own mother? I am very scared of the damage that was done to Sam. I am worried about how he will turn out later in life … how all of this would affect him on the long run.

It is beyond comprehension.

I can just hope he is blessed with my good genes and that he will become a better person because of (and prosper in spite of) what happened to him.

Justice for Sam.

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Stuttering Joe, I am.

I really do not know when I first realised that I was burdened with a severe stutter. I guess it was just part of me at first. I simply didn’t know any better in the first few years of my life. I think I first realised that I had a severe speech impediment when I had to say my name in class on my first day at school. All the other kids breezed through their names … but when it was my turn, the momentum screeeched to a halt, like one of those records in the movies. When that record got stuck, it really got stuck. I could literally not get a word out.

I didn’t realise it at that time, but I was also blessed with a powerful and sharp brain. I had a natural awareness, understanding and perception of what was going on around me. I could instinctively read people and situations. The problem was that I didn’t understand how to use the brain I had been blessed with. In short, my powerful brain worked against me. I was too aware … too awake … too able to see right through people and understand each situation. Even the slightest muscle twitch in a person’s face, body language, facial expression or the glint in their eyes told me exactly what he/she was about and what his or her intentions were. Being blessed with abilities such as these, I was rendered incompetent to speak. Why? Because I was simply too aware of each situation and each person. I was constantly reading them … assessing the situation … assessing them. By doing that, I made myself ten times more stressed and nervous … because I could see right through them within a few minutes. Only after I had gathered all that information, I then understood how to deal with or approach the person in front of me. For that reason, speaking in front of an individual person became easier … but was impossible in a large group (like in a classroom).

Yes, I am blessed with the INFJ personality type, but I didn’t know it at that time.

I had two lives at school … one was the person I was in class and the other was the person I was during breaks and after school. In class, I was unable to say a word, full stop. During breaks and out of school, I could communicate far better … but only with people I had learnt to trust. People I had built a relationship with. People who really understood how to deal with my speech impediment. In class, I was reserved and nervous … during breaks, I was outgoing and expressive.

I really cannot say that other children laughed at me or taunted me due to my severe stutter. There were a few, as you may expect … but the majority just took my stutter in their stride. I guess, my general attitude also deterred some of them from laughing at me or bullying me. I would simply have walked over to them and punched them. I was a fearless little guy. Very feisty, indeed. Far from a pathetic figure. Feeling sorry for myself, wasn’t on the cards. At the same time, I was also blessed with a high level of emotional intelligence. On the odd occassion that someone laughed at me, I would simply look over to him/her with pity and understanding, instead of getting annoyed. To be honest, I never had to punch someone (or felt the urge) for laughing or joking at my stutter. Even at a young age, I realised that some people were simply not as gifted as I was. For that reason, I understood why they laughed. I felt a sincere pity and understanding for them. They were entry level idiots in my mind … which is why I could feel compassion towards them even when they laughed at me. Just to repeat, this really didn’t happen much. The saying that kids are cruel, does not apply to me. They are only cruel if you allow them to be. I had a strong enough personality to deter them from being cruel to me.

My stutter became so bad, that I was exempted from having to perform reading or do oral in class. At one stage, I could only open my mouth very wide when I tried to speak … and that’s where I got stuck. My mouth basically went into spasm and only strange noises came out. My audience would then be faced with a wide open mouth with no words coming out of it. I felt like a freak show. Other kids spoke so effortlessly and I could not even get the simplest word out. The realization that I had a huge problem, made my speech even worse. I struggled to cope. I wanted to be normal. I wanted to be able to speak, read aloud in class and participate in conversations like all the other kids… But I simply could not. I was an expressive person … very social … I always had something to say … but I simply could not get a word out. It was torture. It was a very hard pill to swallow.

Even during these horrible times, real life angels appeared to make my life easier. Some of the children at school and also my immediate family quickly learnt how to best communicate with me. I simply had to utter the first letter of a word, before they would accurately predict what I wanted to say. I would then nod my approval and move on to the next word … which they would again say on my behalf. When they guessed wrong, I would shake my head and they would keep trying until they were correct. In that way, we could have a semi-fluent, albeit strange, conversation. They did all the talking for both themselves and for me. I truly appreciated that, because it was a way for me to say what I wanted to say and not be sidelined or ignored. Some of them, became so good at knowing what I was going to say, that they could accurately guess a whole sentence, when I attempted to say the first letter of the first word in that sentence. I adopted body language, facial expressions and gestures to express myself. This helped a lot.

Of course, some people would sometimes take the Mickey out of me by guessing the wrong word or sentence on purpose … even though they knew exactly what I wanted to say. This led to some very hilarious situations. Luckily, I always had the ability to laugh at myself. I never got offended … unless people were really being unsympathetic, which rarely happened. One of the most unsympathetic persons I have ever encountered, was one of my own brothers (I don’t associate myself with him today). This dude offended me big time. It was as if he had no understanding for what he was doing. It was not nice when you simply wanted to participate in general conversations at home with your family, only to be made fun of and embarrassed. He truly made me feel like the village idiot. One of his favourite things was to pretend he was starting a cold car, while I was making strange noises in an attempt to say something. Nasty.

My marks at primary school were excellent, even though I never thought of myself as being intellectually gifted. I simply breezed through school. My stutter was just something which made the journey a little unpleasant and difficult to deal with. To me, it seemed that I was the only one who was dealt with a very raw hand. I just wanted to be normal. That was not to be. Little did I know that most of the other children also had their own set of issues in life. Some could not do sport. Some were gay, in a time where it was not socially accepted. Some suffered from depression or bipolar disorder … and so the list goes on. I didn’t know this at the time. To me, I was the only one with issues.

The years flew by. I was sent to various speech therapists … all of which, did not prove helpful in any way. I was even sent to an UK doctor (visiting in Port Elizabeth) whom specialised in hypnotherapy. He claimed he could cure people like me. I was very excited at first … only to discover that it was all a waste of time. I ended the therapy, when he came on to me one day. I kid you not. The bloke fancied me. It was quite a shock. I didn’t go back to him again and I never told anyone about what happened.

In my first year at High School I got a hard slap from a Matric boy, because he thought I was mocking him when I tried to answer a question he had asked. I was just trying my best to get a word out – already being nervous in my new school environment – when this idiot slapped me as hard as he could. My ears were ringing for hours thereafter. When one of my neighbours – who was also in matric – confronted him later, he said he thought I was mocking him. He simply didn’t know I stuttered and he had never encountered someone whom stuttered before. To his credit, he did come to apologise.

It was like rubbing salt into my open wounds.

By the time I became a senior at school, I realised that I was admired by many girls. School became fun then. I loved to be admired and checked out. There was one problem, though … my severe speech impediment. I could speak reasonably well with the boys who knew me, but I could not get a word out when I had to speak to a girl. Going over to a girl and asking her out, was never going to happen. Instead, I checked them out from a distance … we exchanged long and hard stares and smiles … never taking it further than that. I could have had a new girlfriend every month … instead, I had none. Simply because I could not speak.

In my mind, girls would not like me when they heard how I struggled to speak. I didn’t give them the opportunity to prove me wrong. I just assumed they wouldn’t like me if they heard how I struggled to speak. I could not lose all my adoring fans … and so, I simply kept my distance. Little did I know, I was dead wrong. Many girls would not have been bothered by my stutter at all. I was fighting my own demons in my mind. I wanted to be perfect … my speech had to match my looks. Nobody would want me, once they heard I stuttered … or so I convinced myself. I could not deal with that rejection. I could cope with my stutter while I knew I was being admired. It would have been too tough to handle if I was rejected due to my stutter.

At one stage, I decided to take action and I asked a friend to go over to a girl, whom I quite liked, to ask her out on my behalf. So, he asked her out on my behalf. Lame, I know. To my surprise, she agreed and said she felt the same way about me. Just like that, I had my first date to a Friday night movie with a girl I truly fancied.

This is where the butterflies started flying around … little cupids were shooting their arrows at us … beautiful romantic music was playing in the background … man, it was heavenly. This beautiful girl also liked me as much as I liked her. I floated on cloud number nine.

Screeeeeeech.

This is where the record screeched to a halt.

You see, we met up at the movie. We sat next to each other. I held her hand. The sparks were flying between us … but there was one problem. I didn’t speak one word to her all evening. When she asked me a question or spoke to me, I simply did not respond. I didn’t mean it, but I was downright rude to her … simply because I could not speak to her. I did not even attempt to speak to her. She must have felt extremely rejected and frustrated by my behaviour. That was it for us. That’s where our relationship ended even before it began.

I felt like a freak show.

I had the girl of my dreams … and I simply could not man up.

I made a huge issue of my stutter. My own attitude made my life abnormal. I should simply have embraced my stutter. Instead, I pretended that I didn’t stutter, by not speaking at all. What the fuck? By doing that, I pushed people away from me. I sabotaged every chance I had to date a nice girl. They didn’t have an issue with my stutter … I did.

When I got to Matric, I was a hot favourite amongst the girls. I knew it. I could see how they admired me. Yet, I was still not ready to approach someone and have a conversation with them. All of this changed one day, when I won the 3000m middle distance race at the school’s athletic meeting. As I crossed the line, this girl was standing there with open arms, screaming her delight that I had won. I could not avoid her. I ran straight into her open arms. Before I realised what was happening, she planted a huge, wet kiss right on my sweaty lips … in front of the pavilion. That broke the ice a bit. The end result was, that we began to speak and I asked her out a few days after that. She became my very first girlfriend. We awkwardly dated for a month, before I ended it.

With the ice broken as far as dating was concerned, my attitude changed. That opened many new doors for me. Before I knew it, I had three girls fighting to date me at the same time. They were best friends. All three of them wanted me. I couldn’t quite believe my luck. I had to choose, so I dated the one whom I liked most. Her two friends became quite distant and cold toward me then. Rejection is never a nice thing. When the one I dated moved away to Cape Town, I simply moved on to the second best option of the three. She then became my girlfriend for most of my matric year.

Things had changed a bit, since I changed my attitude.

Yes, I realised that I had a severe speech impediment, but I also realised that I had so many other positive things going for me. I just had to learn to embrace my stutter and not make an issue of it.

Before I knew it, I was out if school and a first year student in architecture at the University of Port Elizabeth. I was again a junior … and that made my stutter much worse. I – again – adopted the unfriendly, distant approach … which simply made me unpopular. I pushed people away from me in my struggle to cope with my stutter.

When I reached my third year at university, I was again a senior … and the floodgates opened as far as females was concerned. They simply came on to me thick and fast. They basically threw themselves at me. I could pick and choose as I wanted.

Oh the things I got up to then….

I learned then to embrace my stutter, rather than make an issue of it. It was very obvious that the majority of girls simply didn’t care that I stuttered. I was proven totally wrong. My stutter was never the issue … my own attitude was the issue. Once I learned to embrace my stutter and make it part of who I am, the doors simply opened in every facet of my life. I could pick and choose amongst girls. I made numerous great friends. Life simply became more enjoyable and normal. I had missed out on so much good times in the past due to my unapproachable attitude. Everything changed the day I learned to embrace my stutter. Suddenly good things came my way.

People really like when you embrace who you are and the hand you were dealt with. By accepting your situation, you will draw people in to you. They rarely have an issue with your problems, if you – yourself – don’t have an issue with it. A positive attitude and pleasant personality will make your disability or problems insignificant and obsolete.

I realized then that I only stuttered. It could improve over time. It was not something I could do nothing about. I realized I had to be grateful that I had a powerful brain … two strong arms … two strong legs (albeit thin). I could see perfectly. I could hear perfectly. I had a good and strong body. I had no mental issues. I had good sporting abilities. I had very good looks.

I really had it all going for me … except for having a serious stutter. It could have been so much worse. I could have been blind or deaf. I could have had a deformed arm or hand … or none at all.

I learned then to be grateful for who and what I was and with the hand I was dealt with.

That was the moment, my life changed. From that moment, I learned to joke with myself and people found this very endearing. My attitude and positive personality pulled people in towards me on all levels. I learned to make silly jokes when I got stuck on a word. This made people laugh and turned the situation into a pleasant and comfortable experience.

See, your problem is only a problem when you make it a problem. The moment you accept and embrace the hand you were dealt with, endless opportunities awaits you. Doors will open as if by magic. People will be drawn in to you. You can turn the most unpleasant and difficult-to-deal-with circumstances into your favour, simply by embracing it and making it part of who you are.

What also happened once I embraced my stutter, was that my speech improved dramatically. I still stutter today, but it has improved dramatically. I go about life in a normal way. I speak to strangers in shops or restaurants and I am as expressive as my personality needs me to be. Telephone conversations has become easy and effective (this was a huge problem area for me).

One of my clients once told me, “I don’t even realize that you stutter anymore, because of your pleasant and outgoing personality.” There is the trick right there. For a man who was once told by a lecturer at university that I would never be able to deal directly with clients, because of my speech impediment, I had certainly turned things around completely. Clients love interacting with me and they give me projects because of who I am. I am in high demand, despite of my stutter.

Point is: embrace the hand you have been dealt with. Don’t make excuses. Accept it and make yourself powerful and in demand, despite your issues. Learn to approach your issues in a positive and constructive manner. Above all, make sure you adopt a light hearted approach towards your issues. Crack jokes about it. Make people laugh and make them enjoy your company. This is where the magic comes in. This is where you pull people in towards you. This is where doors open for you on every level.

Be proud to be who you are, despite your issues.

Stuttering Joe, I am.

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The alienation of my son, Sam (#005)

I was still totally unaware that I would not see my son for a very long time. I dropped him off at the pre-school on Monday, 26 October 2015 … and the agreement was that I would pick him up later in the week. In this same time, Evil Anne opened a case of sexual molestation against me. Remember, she did the very same thing to her ex-husband a few years before that. Now it was my turn. I was still looking forward to see my son later in the week and had no idea what Evil Anne was up to.

Even during the period that she was opening a case of sexual molestation against me, she contacted me in a very friendly manner to try to manipulate me into paying one of her accounts. She also asked for money. In fact, she asked for money on the very same day that she opened the case against me. Now if you know Evil Anne, you will understand that she would have done no such thing if she truly believed I molested Sam. There was simply no way, given her aggressive and out of control personality. Her friendly behaviour made it very clear what the true situation was. This was an evil opportunist at work.

As per our agreement, I went to the pre-school to pick Sam up later in the week, only to be told that he was not there. This frustrated me, because it had become a pattern over the preceding weeks that Evil Anne would forget all about our arrangements. I drove to her place of residence and also tried to call her numerous times. She simply was nowhere to be found. Instead, a strange number called me … and that’s when I instinctively knew what she had done even before I took the call.

I took the call and a certain Constable Venter (real name … yes, let’s name and shame these idiots) was on the other end of the line. She told me that a case was opened against me and that I could not see my son, but that she wanted to see me the following day. I refused and demanded to see her right away. After a bit of back and forth, she eventually agreed to meet me.

The first thing I told this Constable Venter, was to demand that she put me on a lie detector test right away. I had nothing to hide. To my utter surprise, I was told that South African law does not recognise lie detector tests. Obviously because the people in South Africa had such brilliant minds (far from it) that they could manipulate these tests … something no American can obviously do … because lie detector tests are accepted in court in the States. Or can we safely assume that the people who has to do these tests in South Africa are simply incompetent? Sounds about right….

The second thing I told this village idiot, was to bring my son before me without delay and see how he reacted. I told her that he would cling to me and would not want to go back to his mother. Now in a sensible system, this would have happened. End of story right there. Evil Anne would have been exposed then and there. Not in South Africa. You see, Evil Anne had spoken the magic words:

“He molested my son.”

These idiots were programmed to immediately believe her story and to assist her in alienating a loving father from his adoring child. The system had trained this person to immediately assume that it would be in the best interests of the child to alienate him from his father, just because a crazy and evil person had uttered the magic words.

Those magic words rendered the police and state prosecuting system into immediate robots incapable of clear and rational thought. The moment those words get said, these people become feelingless robots.

Just like that, Evil Anne had found the perfect partner in crime … THE SOUTH AFRICAN POLICE CHILD PROTECTION SERVICES. Their robotically programmed employee (Constable Venter) then played a pivotal role in assisting Evil Anne in the alienation of father and son. In addition, another village idiot, called Advocate Le Roux (State Prosecutor), gave them the legal support to pull their evil agenda off. Evil Anne referred to Adv. Le Roux as being a personal friend of hers in a voice message that was sent to a very good friend of mine (in my possession). Now that’s curious! While they went home to their loving families every evening, Sam and my lives were completely destroyed due to their actions. Can I tell you how it feels to have a child ripped from your life? No words can explain what I went through. It would have been easier to deal with if Sam had just died. I was a zombie for four months. I could not work or do anything. I just breathed. Each breath hurt, like hell. My beautiful little boy was ripped away from me. I struggled to cope.

My daughter would call Advocate Le Roux to get her to give the go-ahead that I can see my son, when she would ask the numbing and shocking question: “Why does he want to see Sam?” You see, those magic words spoken by Evil Anne had turned these people into robots with absolutely no feeling. No ability to think. They only repeated what they were trained to say. What clear thinking and rational person would ask why a parent would want to see his/her own child? What kind of a monster would reason like this? Yet, she would go home to her own children every night as if only she has the ability and the right to love her children. I was numb with shock and trauma, when I realised how much these people were invested in Evil Anne’s evil agenda.

Yes, I have zero respect for the SAPS Child Protection Services and the Prosecuting Authority in South Africa. They robbed me of a child … and they robbed my son of a loving father. They did not do their job, full stop. If they had any idea what they were doing, Sam and I would have been reunited with each other within a week after Evil Anne played her evil card. I would be grateful if these people read my blogs. Hopefully, this will assist in preventing them from doing the same to other parents and their children. I am certainly going to make sure that all the right people read my blogs. Wouldn’t it be lovely if they came after me? Either way, they will be exposed.

As already mentioned, these people should have done one simple test. They should just have brought Sam to my house and see how he reacts. He would have been excited out of his mind and would have refused to leave again. He would have clung to me and he would have cried hysterically if he had to leave me.

So simple.

Did they do it?

No!!

These brillant minds could not think that far. Even after I had asked them to do so, they still didn’t do it. They were robots, incapable of clear and rational thought. They had all the power and resources, but zero brains. Instead, they chose to blindly believe Evil Anne and to side with her. They became the perfect partner in crime for her.

South African Police Child Protection Services … please take a bow. You alienated a loving father and son from each other. Well done to you. After all, the best interest of the child is all that matters … or so you repeat, like parrots. The truth is that you do not act in the best interest of the child … definitely not in my case.

The second thing these idiots should have done, was to treat both parents the same way. They should have looked at Evil Anne as much as they were looking at me. They should have looked at who the person was that was making the accusations. Isn’t that something which should automatically happen in a sensible, logical and rational system? Would that not be acting in the best interest of a child? Yes, indeed. But remember, we are in South Africa. The system and the government employees are anything but sensible, logical and rational. The average level of intelligence is also lower than the average in the world. Get my drift? Yes, we are dealing with true idiots here.

At one stage, I sent Constable Venter a text message in which I enquired about the progress in my case. In my mind, the accusations were so ridiculous and laughable that they should have known after only a few days that Evil Anne was abusing the system to get them to assist in alienating my son from me. I told this detective that I am desperate to be reunited with my son and that I cannot see why they were dragging their feet, like they were. Now, let me tell you how this feelingless robot reacted to my enquiry:

“Don’t make your problem mine.”

Just like that.

I looked at my phone in horror. I could not believe what I was reading.

I will never forget those words for as long as I live. A knife through my heart would have been less painful and traumatic. That was the moment when I realised that the Police and Prosecuting authority were totally invested in Evil Anne’s evil agenda … and that they were not going to do much to expose the truth. I think they would rather have framed me. That’s how invested they were in Evil Anne’s agenda. Evil Anne is a master manipulator after all.

Another thing, these brilliant minds did not even attempt to do, was to interview me. Apart from the first very short, informative meeting, I did not see them or hear from them again. Yes, correct. They just told me to stay away from my child and then they simply disappeared. What a brilliant police force and prosecuting system.

So much for their motto, “it’s all about the best interest of the child.”

The best interest of the child would only have been served if these idiots looked at Evil Anne with equal suspicion as they did me. The best interest of the child would only have been served if they didn’t blindly believe Evil Anne after she spoke the magic words, which turned them into feelingless robots, incapable of clear and logical thought. Surely the best interest of a child would only have been looked after if their first action was to prevent evil criminals like Evil Anne to abuse the system … after all, this kind of thing happens regularly all over the world. Now, if you are aware that these things happens regularly and you still blindly embrace the same system of alienating loving parents from their children, then really, there are no other words for you than “incompetent and useless idiots.”

How is it in the best interest of a child to assist in alienating that child from a loving parent when you are fully aware that parents regularly make themselves guilty of the same criminal behaviour? This should surely have been the first thing they should have checked into and eliminated from their checklist.

How fucking stupid are they?

How can they call themselves a police service … or rather a SAPS Child Protection Service? How can they call themselves a public prosecuting unit? How can they call themselves a service to a nation? They are an embarrassment … not a service. How can they go on live radio and mislead all the listeners in their sweet and soppy voices to believe that they are heroes who protects innocent children? The truth is, they might be doing a good job in some cases, but in my case (and many other cases which I have read about), they have assisted an evil criminal in alienating her son from his loving father. They are equally as guilty as she is. They are equally as guilty of a criminal offence as she is … and should be prosecuted with her. Full stop.

On 22 November 2015, Evil Anne posted photos on social media, placing them in Somerset West during the week … not over a weekend. Now remember, she had made plans long before accusing me of molestation to relocate to Cape Town. With me out of the way, she was now actively pursuing the next step in her evil agenda … to move far away from me … just like her father and stepmother did to alienate her from her mother all those years ago.

Monkey see … monkey do.

During the week of 25 December 2015, she again posted photographic evidence of them in Cape Town … the second time within just a thirty day period. Now this is very unusual for Evil Anne to travel around that much. I only discovered these posts much later. At that stage, I wasn’t even aware of this … if I did see the posts, I would have immediately realised what she was up to. Yet, I was sadly uninformed and ignorant. I was so uninformed about the situation – which happened with the full blessing of Advocate Linda le Roux – that I continued to pay Sam’s school fees in Port Elizabeth long after they had already relocated to Cape Town. Nobody did the decent thing and tell me about it … not even those professing that they were acting in the best interest of the child. Although she needed my signature to enrol Sam into a new school in Cape Town, she again – fraudulently – managed to do just that. Yes, this criminal knew how to manipulate the system to serve her evil agenda. She played them like puppets.

During March 2016, I had enough of not hearing or seeing anything from the SAPS. In the four months since the case was opened, they had not contacted me once … and they had not taken a statement from me. It was obvious that the case had been shelved and they had forgotten all about “the best interest of the child,” as they would so glowingly repeat like parrots. To them, the best interest of a child means to alienate a child from his parent, with zero reason or evidence to support their actions. I decided to confront them … so, I marched right into their offices and did just that. To my very surprise the Captain who dealt with me, then told me that my daughter was now also being implicated (although Evil Anne and my son had already relocated to Cape Town, which I still didn’t know about at that stage). I sat right in front of that dude, and it didn’t cross his mind to tell me that my child was no longer in Port Elizabeth. The situation was so ridiculous and laughable, that I could almost not look at the dude with a straight face. There was mention of my daughter and I being incestuous lovers.

I kid you not.

The shocking part, was that this clown seemed as if he was eating these wild accusations up like it was chocolate cake … or alcohol. Yes alcohol, he is in the SAPS Child Protection Services after all. They have to be a bunch of drunks to believe all the crap they were being fed by Evil Anne, without even once thinking to rather look at who is making all these wild and wonderful accusations.

Despite receiving a report from the Social Worker whom evaluated my son, Sam, on 14 March 2016, the SAPS Child Protection Services still blindly clung to the robotic decision they made to support Evil Anne. The report found that the sexual molestation accusations were not credible and dismissed it. Now, at that stage they had no physical evidence and no social worker’s report to support Evil Anne’s claims. In fact, they had NOTHING … ZERO … FUCK ALL. Yet – incredibly – they still supported Evil Anne in her evil agenda. Now what does this tell you about these people who claim they act in the best interest of the child? Yes, correct … they all should be fired and charged for assisting a criminal in her evil agenda.

That’s the bottom line: they had nothing to support any of these claims. They did not even taken a statement from me. All they went on, was Evil Anne’s word.

Yes, I am going to sue these criminals.

I was only informed in April 2016 that my son was long gone from Port Elizabeth. I was shocked to my very core. I simply could not believe what I was hearing. The worst is that neither the police, nor Evil Anne informed me. My ex wife was the one whom informed me. She just packed up and moved to Cape Town with the police and state prosecutor’s blessing. All of this is of course in the best interest of the child, I assume? The words “fucked up” comes to mind.

Despite knowing from 14 March 2016 that they had nothing to support Evil Anne’s claims, the brilliant SAPS Child Protection Services still kept my son Sam and I apart from each other. They really made sure that they gave Evil Anne sufficient time to brainwash and coach Sam against me. They wanted to make sure that the alienation had the best chance of success. Yes, I am being sarcastic….

I was only cleared by Adv. Linda le Roux on 17 August 2016 to go ahead and contact my son and arrange visitation with him. This was only done after I – again – marched into their offices and confronted them. This time, someone actually usefull assisted me and saw to it that the nonsense ended right there and then.

See what happened here?

From 29 November 2015 to 17 August 2016, I heard nothing from the SAPS Child Protection Services. Nothing. They did not contact me once. They didn’t take a statement from me. Nothing. I was the one who marched into their offices in March 2016 and also in August 2016 to confront them. Now, let me tell you what would have happened if I didn’t confront them. They would never have contacted me, like they promised to do. The file would have been thrown into a corner where it would have gathered dust. The best interest of the child is the last thing on their minds. They simply bought into Evil Anne’s passionate claims and turned into idiotic and feelingless robots who supported her every step of the way in her evil agenda to alienate father and son from each other.

Ok, lets end this on a good note … at least I was now cleared to see my son.

It seemed our nightmare was at an end and Evil Anne was going to pay for her actions.

Little did I know what a long, hard and costly struggle it was going to be to see that justice would be done for Sam and I.

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I see you.

I have never been someone who saw people based on the colour of their skin. Even as a child growing up in Despatch, South Africa, there were some people who I associated myself with and others I would rather avoid. These were white people, like me. I grew up during the height of Apartheid. We were victimised if we dared to side with black people. In a place like Despatch, with a high percentage of blue collar workers, racism reigned supreme. The last thing you wanted to be branded as, was being a “kaffir-boetie.” Loosely translated, it means a white person who loves or sides with black people. It was a very good idea – for your own survival – to either keep your silence and turn a blind eye … or to go with the flow. You also had no option, but to do army duty and fight on the border for the country. Either that, or go to jail. We had those two options available to us as young, white men in South Africa.

Apartheid wasn’t only bad for non-whites, to be brutally honest.

It is easy for a certain mentality to play the victim, isn’t it? It is so easy to generalise and paint all white people with the same brush. That’s evident of a low character mentality. Good character people flourish and prosper despite the circumstances they are dealt with. You can never oppress people of a certain character. They will flourish, prosper and find a way in any circumstance. Playing the victim is for low character people who cannot make it in the real world. This is not a race war … it is a war between good character and low character personality types. It is a war between dignified, well behaved people and common criminals who are always looking for any reason to behave in a criminal manner.

The moment I hear someone play the race card, that person immediately gets reduced to idiot status in my mind. I cannot even acknowledge someone like that from that moment forward. They simply get reduced to junk status in my mind … not worthy to be acknowledged in any way. A person with a good character will never play the race card. A person with a good character will flourish under ANY circumstances and despite the circumstances. Everyone will respect someone like that, no matter what colour his/her skin is. Doors will open (as if by magic) for that person. People of all races will support and identify with a person like that. A person with low character will look to play the race card at every opportunity. They suffer from the “them and us” mentality. They will play the victim, riot, loot and be the criminals they are … because that’s exactly what they are … low character criminals.

See, the general mentality is that people with the same skin colour belong together and are the same. I don’t quite see it that way. I see the person. I see their behaviour. I see their character. As is the case with people of any skin colour, there are the good ones and also the bad ones. I have experienced some very unsavoury white people in my life. We have the same skin colour, but I would not be associated with them in any way. We are as different as different can be. Same skin colour … different values … different character … different human beings. It offends me to be considered in the same breath as these people. I have family members, whom I don’t even associate myself with by virtue of their low character and tendency to behave in an unacceptable manner.

We have the same skin colour.

I don’t see you. We are not the same.

Then, of course, there are the beautiful, kind and compassionate white people. These people have a strong, disciplined character and integrity. They live life in a harmonious and beautiful fashion … always ready to help anybody in need. These people are not Bible pushers. They are simply warm, kind and loving for no reason (with no paybacks) at all. They do not see skin colour and will treat even the poorest person with kindness and respect. These are my people. When I meet people like these, I feel more at home with them than with some members of my own family.

We have the same character.

I see you. We are the same.

Growing up, the general mentality was that if you were seen as one of a group, you were safe. If you went to another school, lived in another town or had a different skin colour, you were looked at with a different eye. You were not seen as part of the same group. So, they generalised society … always the “them and us” mentality. The same goes for the religion you were born into. We were constantly being separated into opposing groups. Instead of raising us all with common love, respect and compassion, they divide us into opposing groups from very early on.

Ever noticed how a toddler does not understand or care about race, social status or religion? A toddler will either enjoy your company based on your behaviour or he/she will avoid you based on your behaviour. Behaviour is the key word. They will either feel safe with you … or display angst in your presence. Why would that be? Skin colour does not feature for them. They see only the person. They see only behaviour and character. Some of us never lost the ability to see people in that way when we became adults. That’s extactly how I see the world and all living beings I share it with. I see people like a toddler does. Race or skin colour doesn’t matter to me. I see only behaviour and character. There are many others like me … from all races and skin tones.

We have the same character.

I see you. We are the same.

The “them and us” mentality was especially problematic in my youth as far as skin colour was concerned. People were being judged purely based upon their skin colour. I found this problematic, because it was obviously a very superficial way to look at people. Just because someone was white, it didn’t mean he/she was a better person than someone with another skin colour. A far better and more meaningful way to either associate yourself with someone or distance yourself from someone, was to simply see their behaviour and character.

The honest truth is that I feel more safe and at home with many people of varied skin colours than my own. These are people who share the same values as I do. The moment people take out their alcohol, I am already feeling uneasy. The moment they refer to other races in a generalised derogatory manner, I begin to feel extremely out of place. The moment they assume I am one of them and share their low values (simply based on my skin colour), I am already looking for ways to leave as quickly as possible.

If you behave the same as me, we are the same.

If you display the same character as me, we are the same.

If you have the same values as me, we are the same.

Your skin colour doesn’t matter to me. Your behaviour and character does.

Simple.

It is a huge mistake to assume that I am one of you simply because we share the same skin colour. I am only one of you, if we share the same behaviour and character … no matter what skin colour we respectively have.

This is how intelligent beings should be thinking. The “them and us” mentality is for stupid people. The riots and criminal behaviour you are witnessing right now accross this planet is not about race. It is about stupid people, who are used to playing the victim and race card. They are opportunistic criminals. Solid idiots with very low characters and no integrity. These idiots are simply looking for any opportunity to be the criminals they are. I cannot associate myself with their mentality or character.

We don’t have the same values and character.

I don’t see you. We are not the same.

I do not associate myself with alcohol abuse. I do not associate myself with the use of drugs. I do not associate myself with late night, drunken parties … strip clubs … paying for sex. I do not associate myself with judgemental people. I do not associate myself with the senseless and superficial existence of most people. You know, those idiots who thinks nothing of throwing tantrums in public? Village idiots, they are. No matter what skin colour you have … if this is what you are into, we are not of the same type.

I don’t see you. We are not the same.

When I date someone, I am open, transparent and faithful. If I feel the need to see or interact with anyone else, I would rather end the relationship. I cannot look someone in the eye and know that I am being deceitful to her. I recently dated someone, whom was simply not like me. Cheating, lies and deceit came naturally to her. For her, it was a normal lifestyle. Openly staring after men (and their crotches) in public – even while at my side – was common for her. I saw right through her and cannot associate myself with her character.

She is white … I am white.

I don’t see you . We are not the same.

I identify myself with the clean living of Muslim people. The beauty and purity of Muslim existence resonates with me. These people do not just talk the religious talk … they live what their mouths speak. They don’t drink alcohol. They don’t smoke. They are warm, kind, peaceful and loving. I could just as well have been a Muslim, because we share the same values. The one thing that particularly struck me, is that I believe my body is my temple. Therefore, you cannot be religious and overweight. The two contradict each other. The Muslims share this point of view. I have huge respect for that.

Muslims are mostly non-white … I am white.

I see you. We are the same.

I was astounded by the beautiful, simple and basic existence of the Thai people when I visited Thailand in 2018. Around every corner, you will see little shrines with daily fresh offerings. The beautiful thing is that nobody steals the food and drinks other people had placed there. In Thailand, you won’t ever go hungry. They are a caring and sharing nation. “Saving face” is a huge thing for the Thai people … in other words, their behaviour will always be friendly, dignified and socially acceptable. I share these values with the Thai people.

We have different skin colours.

I see you. We are the same.

I always wondered why I naturally was so drawn to the Indian culture. I am a huge supporter of the Indian cricket team, by the way. People like Sachin Tendulkar, Virat Kohli and Rohit Sharma are my biggest idols. On the Sri Lankan side, Kumar Sangakkara is one of my all time favourite cricketers. Why do I admire these people so much? Definitely not only because they are wonderful cricketers … nope … they display a good character, humility and integrity that I identify with. They are beautiful people inside and out. I admire them for the people they are … and I identify myself with them.

We have different skin colours.

I see you. We are the same.

Now compare their behaviour to those of Australian cricketers. See the point? The majority of Ausies are white, yet I cannot indentify myself with their behaviour … who they are … the thuggery … the sledging. My general opinion (until recently) was that the Ausie cricketers belonged in a bar or club … not on a cricket field, playing a beautiful game. Their behaviour was a disgrace. I can only think what type of humans they are off the field if they behave like they do on the field. In short, my opinion of them are that they are low character thugs … and any game they participate in, is unpleasant to watch. They are getting a bit better after recent events, I must admit. Good on you, mates.

We have the same skin colour.

I do not see you. We are not the same.

Buddhism is probably the lifestyle I admire and identify myself with most. The purity and simple manner in which they approach life, appeals to me in a big way. They live by the priciples of Karma … as I do. These people are peaceful, kind, warm and loving. They lead a meaningful life of true substance and integrity. They live in harmony with their bodies, other life forms and nature. They do not hate, hold grudges or indulge in socially unacceptable behaviour. These are my kind of people. This is what being human is all about.

We have different skin colours.

I see you. We are the same.

Some of my dearest and closest friends in South Africa are black. They are upstanding and honourable people. They share the same values as I do. They are good and kind Christian people. They are not the kind to participate in riots and looting. They do not drink and smoke. They express themselves through their achievements both academically and professionally. On top of this, their general behaviour displays character and compliments their black heritage. They do not play the race card. They do not see themselves as victims. These are my brothers and sisters.

We have different skin colours.

I see you. We are the same.

I identify with anyone who lives in peace, harmony and love. People with sober habits who lead a constructive and dignified living … no matter how poor they are. People whom don’t suffer from the “them and us” mentality. People who don’t see skin colour, but rather feel at home with anyone displaying the same character and behaviour as they do. These are my kind of people. Most of these are not people of the same skin colour as me … but I identify with them. I feel safe and comfortable in their presence. They are the same type as I am.

I see you.

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The alienation of my son, Sam (#004)

For a while, things were really going well while Evil Anne was dating this new guy. Let’s call him Jack. He truly had a good, calming and rational influence on her. I was allowed to see my son much more than what was stipulated in the agreement. My access to my son was no longer blocked and she allowed him to come to me whenever he felt like it … and more. As I said before, this guy was such a good influence on her, that I begged her to never leave him. I rather encouraged her to try her utmost to marry him. For a while there, Evil Anne actually appeared reasonably sane and normal.

The one problem that surfaced, was that my son never wanted to go back to Evil Anne. He always clung to me and screamed and pleaded not to go to her. It was truly heart wrenching. I had to physically tear him away from me while he screamed hysterically. I had to walk away while he pleaded after me not to go. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do in my life. My heart broke with each exchange from me to her. Sam was making it clear where he wanted to be. I was the parent who didn’t take him to movies, malls or restaurants, yet he preferred to be with me. Evil Anne bought him very expensive toys … and I bought him only cheap and basic toys. Still, he wanted to be with me. Tells a story, doesn’t it?

On 29 April 2013, Evil Anne and her boyfriend were loudly confronted by his estranged wife in a restaurant. The woman shouted at the top of her voice that Evil Anne was the “whore who stole her husband away from her.” The confrontation was loud and everyone in the restaurant had no choice, but to hear what was happening. The intent was obviously to embarrass Evil Anne in public. The problem for me, was that my little boy was exposed to all of this. I wasn’t there myself, but Evil Anne confided in me that my son burst out into tears as a result of the confrontation. She was totally oblivious to the fact that the choices she had made, was the reason why my son was exposed to nasty situations like these. Instead, she tried to paint her boyfriend’s estranged wife with a negative brush. I was very disturbed by this. Just like Evil Anne regularly did with her other two children, she was also exposing my little boy to very unpleasant, harmful and unacceptable situations.

Over the next year or so, I approached numerous professional people to assist me, because I was truly worried about Sam’s wellbeing. I felt he had to be placed under my permanent care as a matter of urgency. All of them agreed with me … but there was one little spanner in the works. They wanted money – and a lot of it – to fight for our cause. To be honest, I wasn’t doing that well financially at the time. Lots of extra money for a legal battle, was not something I could afford at that time.

I realised at that stage that the government departments were a hopeless cause. Every family law practioner also told me so. There was general consensus that the government systems were a waste of time. The advice was that the only way to get my son under my permanent care, was to have a little fortune available for legal costs and to approach the High Court … not the magistrate’s court.

I was sick with frustration. Everyone could see that my son should be taken away from Evil Anne, but nobody was going to lift a finger before they were paid lots of cash. Sick situation, indeed. Everything revolved around money … not about the best interest of the child. The best interest of the child is a myth in South African law. The best interest of the child will only be looked at when you have sufficient money to pay for legal fees.

Sick … very sick.

Yet, you will hear all these clowns – specially the government employees – repeating the following like parrots:

“It is all about the best interest of the child.”

Yes, these clowns get paid a salary … for not looking after the best interest of the child.

I lost respect for the goverment employees and the government systems very quickly.

The truth is: no money … no best interest of the child.

This is the simple, raw and horrible truth.

So, there I was … realising that my son had to be taken away from this woman. He needed to be placed under my permanent care. Everyone agreed with that. Yet, I simply could not start the legal process without a small fortune to pay for all the competent professionals. Just to repeat, in case you missed the point: the government officials do not fall under the competent person umbrella….

The one good thing about the situation, was that Evil Anne’s boyfriend brought sanity and a balance into the mix. He really was a very good and stable chap. What he saw in Evil Anne, I will never understand. Well, I also fell into that trap, didn’t I? So did many other professional and upstanding men.

During 2014, I took 247 photos … received 93 voice messages from Evil Anne (and my son) … and I also recorded 27 videos. All of these reflects how happy my son, Sam, was when under my care. He adored me as father. Every one of the photos, voice messages and videos reveals that he was happy and content and in his element when he was with me. He also adored my daughter, Little Jay. The voice messages also reveals how good the relationship between Evil Anne and myself was at that time. This was due to the good influence her boyfriend had on her. She also stated in numerous voice messages what a good father I was for Sam. Evil Anne was sharing a house with Jack and his six children. She had three children of her own….

I was very concerned when I learnt that Evil Anne had physically attacked her boyfriend. She openly told me about it. I could see cracks developing in their relationship … and it truly concerned me. I knew chaos, insane and irrational behaviour would erupt if they should break up. I feared that day. I pleaded with her to please make her relationship with him work. Yet, I could see things were going south very quickly. She would move out … once to a guest house, where she stayed for a month. Jack – the poor sucker – had to pay of course. Evil Anne doesn’t come cheap, let me tell you. She knows how to spend unfortunate men’s money. She will find a way to spend your money, guaranteed.

At the start of 2015, I didn’t know that our lives would be totally destroyed at the end of that year. It was going to be the worst time of my life. I didn’t know it yet. There was no warning of what was to come. I knew when Evil Anne and her boyfriend finally broke up and she moved into her own townhouse (at his expense, of course), that I could expect chaos and irrational behaviour. The person who had kept her sane and rational, was gone….

I was very concerned.

What was very concerning, was that my little boy would plead with me not to go to his mother the minute I picked him up from the creche (daycare centre). He was four years old at the time. The moment he saw me walk in, he would drop everything, run to me and jump into my arms in wild excitement. When we got into the car, the first thing he would say is: “Please, I don’t want to go to mamma. I want to stay most with you.”

These comments were extremely concerning and disturbing.

This happened day after day … no matter how hard I tried to bribe him to go to his mother.

I knew something had to give.

Sam was also making disturbing comments about his older brother (Evil Anne’s other son). This particular boy raised my concerns long before that. I had previously witnessed him making sexual advances at another young child, while Evil Anne still shared my house with me. I informed the government authorities (you know … the incompetent ones) about this at some stage in 2012. I was very concerned, but I didn’t have any concrete evidence. I also didn’t want to approach Evil Anne to inform her about the comments Sam was making. Her natural reaction would be to go crazy if anybody made a negative comment about her children. She was not someone you could rationally talk to … specially not where her children were involved.

During that time, Evil Anne sent various voice messages to me in which she commented that my son never wanted to go back to her when he was with me. I have kept these voice messages on record. It really didn’t sit well with her that Sam preferred me over her. I could see trouble brewing from a distance. She was never going to sit back and allow my son to reject her, because he preferred to be with me. I knew that. I knew she was going to do something. I just didn’t know what. I could see it in her behaviour, which got progressively worse as the year drew to a close.

In her sneaky way, Evil Anne twice ambushed me into joining her for supper, under the pretence that I had to pick Sam up from a restaurant. I witnessed then how she coached Sam to make nasty comments about her ex boyfriend. This really disturbed me in a big way. My boy didn’t know what he was saying. He was basically only saying what she wanted him to say. The manner in which she rewarded and thanked him for doing so, was extremely disturbing. I looked on in shocked silence.

On 12 April 2015, I recorded a video in which I tried to get Sam to say hello to his mother … he buntly refused.

On 12 July 2015, I again attempted to get Sam to send a pleasant little video to his mother, upon her request, but he responded by saying on camera. “I don’t love you, mamma.” I told him not to be like that to his mother. I felt sad for her, because he was openly rejecting her. It was clear that Sam was not happy to be with her and her constant chaos.

In the last three months before she played her evil card, we spoke less and less. Our conversations became very business like … and we spoke only when it was necessary. I was gearing up to launch legal action to take my son away from her. She could see in my cold and distant body language that things had changed. I could not pretend. She felt very threatened by my business like attitude. In return, she became more aggressive and her behaviour became increasingly problematic. We both knew something was about to give very soon. It became a question of who was going to punch first. There was tension in the air.

What I didn’t know at that time, was that she was making plans to relocate to Cape Town. Of course, she knew I would resist if I learned about her plans. I would not have allowed my little boy to move away with her. She knew that very well. I was unaware that she she was beginning to put evil plans together based on her past experiences … alienation of parent from child. Remember, up to that point, she already had two experiences involving parent/child alienation. Both were extremely effective. Her father and stepmother were her mentors in this regard. They taught her very well. She drew from her past while she was dreaming up her evil plan.

Evil Anne was so absorbed in her plans to move away from Port Elizabeth that it became a regular occurrence that she simply forgot to pack Sam’s bags (as she always did) on the days I had to pick him up. It was as if I wasn’t even featuring as a father in her mind anymore. This became seriously conerning for me. I could see something was up. I could see she was planning something. It was so blatantly obvious. I just didn’t know what.

Remember, at that stage I knew nothing about her plans to move away from Port Elizabeth. I suspected something was up, based on her behaviour … but I simply didn’t know what.

Even I would not have predicted what she was about to do….

At the beginning of October 2015, Evil Anne suddenly stopped sending me voice messages. The communcation between us simply dried up. Up to that stage, she used to send me an average of sixteen voice messages per month (all in my possession). This suddenly stopped at the start of October 2015 … for no apparant reason. She also forgot more and more that we had made arrangements for me to pick up Sam. Her behaviour became very irrational. Arrangements I made with her today relating to picking Sam up, was completely forgotten by the following morning. I became seriously concerned….

On 23 October 2015, Evil Anne made a Facebook post stating that trouble was brewing.

Up to that point, I had gathered 148 photos … 147 voice messages and 52 videos (all recorded within 2015) reflecting a very happy Sam … and also reflecting that Evil Anne had no issues with me as father, other than being concerned that Sam preferred me over her. In addition to the above media, I also have record of numerous texting and email messages between us … none of which revealed any issues between us.

On 25 October 2015, while Sam was still happily with me, Evil Anne made two other curious Facebook posts revealing that she was preparing for a fight or difficulties. I was only going to discover them later. On that same day, Sam was playing naked around the pool. As soon as we got clothes onto him, he would take them off, preferring to play around naked. Late in the afternoon, he told us that he had hurt his penis. We saw a little chafe mark on the base where he hurt himself. I assumed it happened while laying naked on the brick paving, playing with his hands in the pool. He asked that I put a plaster on, which I did … and that was that as far as I was concerned. Very innocent.

Fate had other ideas.

That little injury played perfectly into Evil Anne’s hands.

Thinking back, I can only shake my head in amazement, because it was as if the Universe had orchestrated everything to happen in the way it did. Remember, she was already actively planning to move to Cape Town. Her business was up for sale and was sold soon thereafter. I just didn’t know about it. This was why she constantly forgot about the arrangements we made relating to the exchange of Sam. In her mind, they were moving away and I didn’t feature in his life anymore. Over that weekend, her Facebook posts made it clear that she was expecting a battle. She knew she was moving away from Port Elizabeth … and she knew I would fight to keep Sam from moving away.

That little chafe gave her the perfect ace to play.

Remember how her father and stepmother had alienated her from her mother?

Remember how she had coached her other two children to make sexual molestation accusations against her second husband to alienate them from each other?

Yip, Evil Anne was at it again.

The Universe simply gave her the rope to hang herself … to the detriment of my little boy.

The timing was brutally perfect.

On the morning of 26 October 2015, I dropped my little boy at the daycare centre. I didn’t know it then, but that was the last time I would see him for a very long time.

***

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The magic of Gratitude.

Gratitude is a magical and powerful way of attracting good things into your life. If you show love, you will attract love. Notice the key word? “Show.” That’s the key word. It is not just meaningless words … it is meaningful action. Live what you say … don’t just vocalise it like a parrot. Express gratitude with your actions. Ever heard the saying, “action speaks louder than words?” This is critically important for the expression of gratitude. Show gratitude through your actions, rather than mouthing superficial and meaningless words. It is good to adopt a habit of saying thank you as many times as possible every day … but if you want to see real magic, your actions should express the same gratitude to the Universe.

At the end of 2015, I was subjected to a severely traumatic event when my little boy was ripped from my life. One day, we were happily together … the next, he was gone. No, he did not die … he is very much alive. You can follow that story in my blogs related to that horror story. The point is, that my life crashed into small pieces when my son was so brutally ripped away from me. For a period of four months, I could not work. I could not function in any way. I just breathed … although every breath felt like torture.

After four months of living in a zombie-like state, I realised that I had to take control of the situation. At that stage, the situation was controlling me. I was sinking into total destruction very quickly. Everything was falling apart around me, because I could not function normally. That’s when I decided to accept what has happened and to address it in a constructive and positive manner. I realised that I could only be victorious if I used the negative situation productively to better myself in every way.

That’s what I did.

It was then that I began to employ the magic of gratitude and positive living. Instead of distressing and being drawn into negativity, I adopted a positive and grateful attitude. I chose to view the horror events in a positive manner. Instead of asking why, I began to express gratitude for what had happened. I adopted the positive mindset that everything in life happens for a reason. The Universe had orchestrated the situation to force me to better myself in every way. This horror story was going to force me to move to the next level. I chose to believe that the events happened to ensure that everything would work out for the best for my son and I.

I no longer saw myself as a victim. I saw myself as a person being given the opportunity to better himself in every way.

I expressed gratitude, because I realised the situation was going to push me out of my comfort zone and force me to become powerful and accomplished. I felt motivated to become very successful, instead of allowing the situation to completely destroy me. I understood then how the negative situation was offering me an abundance of opportunities to better myself in every way. That was when I began to express gratitude by taking daily steps to better myself in every way … to achieve the things I had been dreaming of. My actions were expressing my gratitude to the Universe. I did also say thank you many times a day … but the gratitude I expressed through my actions was a million times more powerful than verbal gratitude.

The more I gave myself over to expressing gratitude, the more I understood that merely expressing gratitude, without feeling positive emotions … and without backing the gratitude up with my daily actions and rituals, was useless. I learnt that simply expressing gratitude in a superficial manner, was a meaningless waste of time. What I discovered was that expressing gratitude verbally was one thing. Actually showing gratitude was quite another thing. Verbally expressing gratitude is a very good thing, dont get me wrong. It is a bit superficial, though. The magic only happens when gratitude is shown and expressed with actions, habits and behaviour.

Allow me to explain.

If you express gratitude that you are alive and are thankful for the body you have been given, you are already on the right path. However, if the only thing you do is say thank you … but do not support the verbal gratitude with physical expression of gratitude, you are – sadly – not tapping into the magic of gratitude. I see this a lot. People say they are grateful to be alive, but then they drink or smoke. They do drugs. They are obese and unhealthy. With physical action like that, you are actually telling the Universe that you do not appreciate the life you have been given. You do not appreciate the body you live in. You are showing disrespect and are abusing your body. Your behaviour and actions are clearly sending the message to the Universe that you are not grateful for the life you have been given. You are thus sending mixed signals to the Universe. Your actions are cancelling the words of gratitude you have spoken. The most powerful signal is your behaviour or your physical expression of gratitude.

Your physical expression of gratitude then actually supports exactly the opposite of what your mouth is saying.

This is where you draw negativity into your life.

Your actions are negative and destructive, despite what you are saying. It is then exactly what you are telling the Universe you want more of. Please give me negativity. Let bad things happen to me, please. Let me live a sub-standard life, please. Please give me cancer. Please give me diabetes. You get what you put out into the Universe. You have ordered your circumstances … pure and simple.

See how gratitude really works?

Your habits, actions and behaviour have to line up with what you are grateful for.

The way to do it, is to be grateful for the life you have been given by expressing the gratitude in a physical manner. Lead a healthy lifestyle. Only consume healthy foods. Be fit and active. Build up your immune system. Now you will be sending the correct messages to the Universe. Now you will begin to see the magic of gratitude. You are being honest and real with the Universe by displaying gratitude through your actions. By doing so, you have now unlocked the power and magic of gratitude.

What is the use of being grateful you are alive and then go out and speed? Or text while you drive. Or drink and drive. All you are then telling the Universe, is that you want to die or be injured. You are also telling the Universe that you do not respect other life forms, i.e. innocent people and animals. You are indirectly putting yourself in a position where you can kill people or animals. You are sending out negative messages to the Universe. You are telling the Universe that you like danger, injuries and death. That’s what you will be given. You have asked for it by indulging in it … thus expressing gratitude for those negative things. Sooner or later it will be given to you. Your actions speaks louder than your words. Actions are the stronger expression of your gratitude.

Whatever you are indulging in, you are actually telling the Universe you want more of.

It is an expression of gratitude.

Simple.

I appreciate my partner, you say? Do you display gratitude towards your partner by being loyal and faithful towards him / her? If you flirt or your eyes wander, you are telling the Universe you want someone else … you appreciate someone else. Your relationship will perish or will be rocky, full stop. You might not understand why, but this will be one of the key reasons. You constantly get irritated by your partner? Fight with him/her a lot?

Stop!

The message to the Universe is, I am not grateful for this person. You will lose that person. You will drift apart. You will be unhappy. It might take years, but it will happen. Be careful what signals you are sending to the Universe. Your gratitude can be positive or negative. If you fight a lot with your partner, you are telling the Universe that you are grateful for animosity and drama … and poof, there are some more for you, says the Universe. That is after all what you appreciate in life, otherwise you would not indulge in it. If you really appreciate your partner, you will express your gratitude by always being loving, respectful and understanding of him/her.

If you know your partner irritates you and brings out the worst in you. If you are miserably unhappy in your relationship. Yet, you still chose to stay in that relationship … your actions are simply expressing gratitude for suffering, pain and unhappiness. You allow and indulge in sadness, fighting and arguments. That’s what you will get more of. You are grateful for it, by indulging in it – thus showing gratitude for it – so, you will get much more of the same.

Grow a pair and get out of the relationship, if you truly want something better.

Sleep in your car if you have to. Just do it.

Do you want to keep something or achieve something? Then show constant gratitude towards that cause. Do you want a better house? First appreciate and show gratitude towards your current residence … even if you currently only live in a room. Appreciate it. Be grateful for it. It might not be what you ideally want, but be grateful for what you have. Like magic, you will get a better house or better circumstances. If you complain about the one you have … if you feel unhappy about what you have … you will never get a better house or better circumstances.

Gratitude will magically transform your life, if you learn how to physically express it.

You want more work? More projects? First appreciate the work or projects you currently have. Appreciate each and every project by expressing gratitude in the form of doing that job or project passionately and thoroughly. As if by magic, you will draw in more and better projects or work.

Even during the worst times in your life, you will have to learn to express gratitude for whatever is given to you. However little it is, express sincere gratitude with your actions, emotions and attitude. If you do that, you will get more and better of the things you are grateful for.

It really is like magic.

If you are grateful for each cent you have, the Universe will give you more money. The point is, the Universe will give you more of whatever you are grateful for. This applies to every facet of your life, be it money, love, happiness, health, friends … or whatever.

If you make a habit of complaining about things, the message to the Universe is that you appreciate conflict, discontent and unhappiness. You are actually expressing gratitude for conflict and unhappiness by indulging in it. Guess what? Your wish is my command. Conflict and unhappiness will come your way, guaranteed. It will follow you around, because that’s what you expressed gratitude for through your behaviour.

Most people believe that expressing gratitude is primarily a verbal thing. Far from it. Expressing gratitude, involves three actions:

  1. Verbally expressing gratitude … but not like a parrot.
  2. Truly feeling grateful … deep, real and raw … no superficial pretence.
  3. Expressing gratitude by your daily actions, habits and behaviour. This is where the power of gratitude is … the physical expression. This is where the magic happens. This is where the shit gets real. Sorry, I find it amuzing to let out the gangsta in me at times.

Do you want to drive a luxury car? First show sincere gratitude for the car you currently have. Cherish it and truly feel grateful that you have a car. Wash it … polish it … don’t litter in it. Drive it with respect. Say thank you to your car, each time it takes you from Point A to Point B. It could have died on you … it didn’t … express gratitude for that. Tap the car on the hood, say thank you and feel real gratitude for it. At some stage, you will get that luxury car. It might only be a second hand luxury car … but you will get it.

I often see cheaters on the sporting field, trying to con the referee into awarding his / her team a penalty or something. I always shake my head in disbelief when I see that. By expressing gratitude for cheating (and indulging in it) this person is telling the Universe that he / she appreciates cheating. This person does not appreciate fair play, integrity and honesty. As if by magic, this person will con and be conned … he will cheat and be cheated upon … not only on the playing field. He appreciates cheating, dishonesty and unfair play … so it will be given to him in real life too. In some form or another, he will either cheat or con himself … or he will be cheated on and conned by others. That’s what he asked for by displaying appreciation for and indulging in cheating and conning. His actions clearly stated that he is grateful for cheating and dishonesty. That’s what he will get more of. His on-field cheating will overflow into his real life, because the Universe does not understand that he was only playing a game. The Universe understands:

“I like cheating. It is a good thing. I am grateful for cheating. I want more of it, please.”

Your actions are simply a reflection of what you appreciate … in other words what you are grateful for … be it positive or negative.

People who like to watch real life violent videos or negative incidents are telling the Universe that they want more violence, drama and negativity in their lives. Your wish is my command. By expressing gratitude and appreciation for violence, negativity and drama you are simply drawing the same into your life. Not only on your cellphone or TV screen, but also into your daily life. Violence, negativity and drama will seek you out, rest assured.

Be careful what you indulge in … or where you direct your energy to. You are expressing gratitude with your attention and energy. Your wish is my command….

Learn to show gratitude for even the smallest insect, animal or plant. Each serves a purpose. Appreciate and respect them. Say thank you for them. Show gratitude by admiring them and respecting their existence. Appreciate the wonder of life flowing through them. Show gratitude for the smallest things in life, like being able to see, hear or speak … or even to breath. Show how fortunate you are by appreciating it in word and deed. Never take it for granted. You can only get more and better by expressing gratitude in a positive manner.

Even if you are homeless today, express gratitude for being able to look at a beautiful tree or flower. Touch the bark of a tree and appreciate its wonderous existence. Appreciate the magic of life in the insect on the ground next to you. Appreciate the scrap of food you may have received. Look up to the sky and appreciate the wonder of the Universe we live in. Acknowledge that you are not the victim of anything or anyone. Your own actions and choices created your current circumstances. You can magically change your fortunes completely around, if you really want to. Simply begin by expressing true gratitude for even the smallest thing you are able to enjoy or experience … just make sure it is something positive.

Even if you love being homeless, express gratitude for it by enjoying every moment and embracing the lifestyle. That way you will make sure you remain homeless.

By littering or finding pleasure in killing animals or insects, you are telling the Universe that you don’t appreciate this planet you are living on. You don’t appreciate other life forms. You appreciate destruction and killing. You will be given messy circumstances to live in … or your life will be messy, just like the litter you tainted the environment with. You appreciate littering, killing and are disrespectful towards other life forms? Guess what? Negativity will follow you around. You don’t appreciate this planet … this planet won’t appreciate you. You will be worked out. You will not get all the goodness and grace the Universe are able to give you.

Do you like superficial and temporary relations with men or women? Toy with people’s emotions? Guess what? You will get lots of those … but none of the permanent good stuff. I am especially guilty of this one. Up to six years ago, this was how I lived my life. I realised that I had to stop and change the signals I am sending out to the Universe, if I ever hoped to find the love of my life. Show appreciation for honesty, loyalty and integrity. Express love … save your sexuality for the right one. Don’t share your body or time with the wrong people. Show gratitude for a deep and meaningful lifestyle and existence. That’s what you will attract by displaying gratitude and appreciation for these good qualities.

Sleep around a lot and use and abuse people? Your wish is my command. You will give and receive a lot of sleeping around and superficial things. You will never receive true love and commitment, because that is not what you are grateful for … your own behaviour dictates that. Your own actions display what you appreciate and are grateful for. You will get more of those.

I had to learn this the hard way.

I had to change everything about myself to be who I am today … a man worthy of the woman of his dreams.

I am grateful for what happened with my son, because it pushed me to the next level … and beyond. I have grown beyond recognition since the horror events … and I am grateful for that. I have bettered my life in every possible manner … and it would not have happened if my son was not alienated from me. Thank you for that. The events surrounding my son had to happen to ensure that he will be placed under my permanent care … thank you for that.

I express gratitude for my body and life by leading a fit, healthy and balanced lifestyle.

I express gratitude for being alive by not speeding or taking risks … or not getting involved with married women. You catch my drift?

I express gratitude for my mother by spending as much time as possible with her and always being there for her when she needs me. I tell her I love her every time I see her or speak to her on the phone.

I express gratitude for a good income and projects by working passionately on the projects I am given.

I express gratitude for every rand that comes my way. It could have been given to someone else.

I express gratitude for the love of my life (whom is still making her way to me), by not associating myself or wasting my time with other, less deserving women.

I express gratitude for this planet I live on, by living in harmony, awe and wonder of it.

I express gratitude for my talents by polishing them and making use of them.

I express gratitude for my mental health by constantly growing intellectually, emotionally and spiritually.

I express gratitude for every failed relationship that moulded me into the man I am today. I choose to learn from them. I appreciate the lessons they taught me. By learning from them and by not repeating the same mistakes and patterns, I am improving my own choices and habits. This is actually an expression of gratitude for becoming a better and more polished version of myself. By being selfish with who I share my time, energy and body with, I am guiding the Universe to the type of woman I appreciate and want in my life. It is a physical expression of gratitude to only spend time with someone I truly value as a possible life partner. I am not referring to innocent coffee dates with female friends. I am effectively eliminating the wrong types, by not spending time with them. My actions, behaviour and growth are showing the Universe what type of woman I am grateful for … hence being able to attract the love of my life into my life.

Move your ass, won’t you?

I express gratitude for integrity by always doing the right thing … even when nobody can see me … or when nobody will ever know.

I express gratitude for my last bowl of rice, because I could have had none.

I express gratitude for each morning I can wake up and experience the wonder of a new day … a new opportunity … a new page … a new chance to start all over … the next step on my beautiful journey.

***

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The alienation of my son, Sam (#003)

So now this woman fell pregant at the very time I was looking for ways to get her out of my life. I was a bit stuffed then, right? To be honest, I hoped she would opt for an abortion. Everyone else were also pushing for her to follow that route, including her parents, her kids and the other man she was flirting with behind my back. Yip, another one! Even I mentioned it to her. At first she agreed … but then she changed her mind. For once in her life, she made the correct decision by opting to keep the baby. Give credit where credit is due.

The one thing I made peace with when the news broke, was that I needed to be there for my unborn baby. I was man enough to make the baby … I had to be man enough to be a father for him/her. I made the decision then to support Evil Anne through the pregnancy. I committed to give her a roof over her head and take care of all her living costs and medical bills. I was open and honest about the fact that the agreement would only last up to three months after birth.

I was stuck with this woman for the time being.

I was going to have a baby with the worst possible candidate.

My life would never be the same again.

Yep, I dug that deep and dark hole myself … and for myself.

The sad thing was that my daughter also had to endure the chaos and destruction that followed. I will forever live in regret of that. I failed my daughter in her matric year. I brought this monster into our peaceful lives. I am the only one to blame. I was warned. I did not listen.

So, now I had to make peace with the fact that Evil Anne would remain part of my life for another ten months or so. I looked up to it. I really wanted her out of my life. What was I to do? The only thing I could do, was to own up to my responsibilities.

It was going to be a tough and insane ride.

I made peace that this too would end.

***

During the year, Evil Anne wrote numerous documents. To me, it appeared as if a twelve year old child was the author … such was her mentality. In it she summarised her life story. She described in horrific detail how her father and stepmother had alienated her and her sister from their biological mother. She wrote how they were brainwashed to believe that their mother was a bad person. The extreme measures her father and stepmother went to to prevent their mother from seeing them or building a relationship with them, was unfathomable. I could not believe what I was reading. It was discomforting to realise that evil people like those actually existed. It was something you only heard of on the news … but never actually encountered in real life. I felt sad for Evil Anne. She was robbed of a mother by the very people who supposedly loved her.

Evil Anne went on to describe that the alienation tactics employed by their father and stepmother were so effective that they truly believed their mother had rejected them at birth. The bottom line is that Evil Anne was robbed of a mother by her father’s evil actions. She never had the opportunity to have a normal relationship with her mother.

Evil Anne went on to tell that her father was a vicious and violent drunk, who regularly hit her until he drew blood. According to her, he displayed a lot of anger and rage. She tells that this guy abused them emotionally, physically and verbally … even calling her a whore when she was thirteen years old. Her stepmother was described as someone who physically abused her by biting her and scratching her as a twisted form of discipline.

On top of all of that, they also alienated her from her mother!

Little did I know that this woman was going to draw on these experiences to do the very same thing to my son Sam and I.

What I didn’t know at that stage, was that she already had her first trial run in parent / child alienation. It happened after her second divorce, when she callously coached her little childen to claim that her ex-husband had sexually molested them. This was done purely to alienate the kids from him, because they were too attached to him. After a few months, she made an u-turn and admitted that she had coached her children to make the false accusations against this poor guy. She then described her actions as “devil’s things.”

Can you imagine shamelessly abusing your children in this way?

Yes, we are dealing with pure evil here.

What is even more concerning, is that the government systems didn’t intervene by taking these poor children away from her. In fact, she learnt from her first alienation attempt that the South African Police Child Protection Services is a very willing and able partner in crime when you want to alienate a parent from his/her children. All you have to do, is speak the magic words, “This person sexually molested my children.” From that moment onwards, the SAPS Child Protection Services will assist you in your evil agenda. They will blindly believe you and they will assist you in keeping a loving parent away from his/her child. She learnt very quickly that if you speak the magic words, i.e: “he/she abused my child,” the onus then rests on the destraught and innocent parent to prove his/her innocence … a process that would take years and a fortune to achieve. By then the damage would have been done. What Evil Anne learnt very quickly after her first alienation of parent and child attempt, was that the South African Police Child Protection Services has an idiotic one-liner they use like parrots to justify their support for the criminal, which goes: “it is all about the best interest of the child.”

The South African Police Child Protection Services are incapable of clear thought processes. They will blindly believe you once you speak the magic words. They will become the perfect partner in crime for you as a criminal. They will asisst you in achieving successful child and parent alienation. They will threaten to arrest a desperate parent whose child has been ripped away from him/her if that parent dares to contact the child.

The South African Police Child Protection Services will not consider who is making the accusations. They will not look into your history. You can be as crazy as fuck … they will blindly believe you and assist you in your evil agenda. In the absence of any physical proof, they will still blindly believe the criminal and assist in the alienation of parent process. At the same time, they will go on regional radio and tell all the listeners what a great job they are doing in protecting children from offenders … while the truth is that they are actually assisting some offenders – like Evil Anne – in their evil agenda to alienate loving parents from their children.

All of this is done “in the best interest of the child.

Lifes are destroyed. Families are ripped apart. Parents and children are alienated from each other … all with the blessing and assistance of the SAPS Child Protection Services. If the innocent parent does not have lots of money to fight this injustice, the alienation will become the perfect crime….

You can already see where this story is heading, can’t you?

Yes indeed….

My horror story has just began.

Remember, at this stage, I only knew about the alienation from their mother by their father and stepmother. I did not know about what she had done to her second husband. I was only going to find this out much further down the line.

The contents of Evil Anne’s life story were truly shocking. In addition to the above, she also describes that she first attempted suicide in 1989. I read this with serious concern. She was obviously a very troubled person from very early on. I felt totally overwhelmed by the shady character of the people whom I had invited into our lives. These were the scum of the earth … and I was responsible for making them part of our lives. Now I was about to have a baby with someone like this….

I really could have picked a much better woman to have a baby with, couldn’t I?

Let’s be honest, we all have a story to tell. I also suffered under an abusive stepfather, but even he seems like a saint compared to these people.

Where did I go wrong in life?

How did I come to associate myself with white trash like this?

I was not going to hold Evil Anne’s past against her, because I knew from my own experience that everything I had endured as a child had turned me into a person who always strived to be better in every possible way as an adult. I used my own unhappy childhood as motivation to give my children the best possible circumstances and experiences. I was hoping Evil Anne would also use her unhappy childhood as motivation not to repeat the evil and vicious cycle. Unfortunately – being someone with a low and sly character – she rather chose to feed of her childhood experiences to fuel her own evil agenda as an adult. I did not quite realise this at that early stage….

I was slowly learning more about Evil Anne and her past. The more I learned, the more I became concerned … particularly because I could see that she was not capable of using her past to become a better person. In one of her writings, dated 13 July 2010, she decribes how she had an affair with (yet another) married man, while she was still married to her first husband. No wonder he sexually rejected her. Then she was the cause of breaking up yet another marriage by having an affair with the husband. Yet, she simply could not learn from her destructive habits. It continues to this very day.

Evil Anne also revealed how she had physically attacked almost every man she was ever involved with. Apart from this, she revealed her violent nature in general towards staff and other people who had the misfortune of dealing with her. Yet, in front of me, she appeared to be so timid and innocent … always playing the victim.

She wrote all of the above, by the way. I have it on black and white. It is not stuff I am dreaming up. It is the truth, as told by herself.

She also writes that she has a lot of anger and rage in her … and that she would regularly bang her head against the wall when she lost control.

A little bit too softly, I would say….

Sorry, I don’t mean to be insensitive or offensive.

Her trend of malicious accusations against other people – particularly her exes – was very noticable in her writings and the stories she told. Every single one of them was tagged with something negative. Her first husband became gay, because he sexually rejected her … even though he left her for another woman and has been with her ever since. My friend – whom also had the misfortune of dating her – also was branded as being gay. Andries (another ex) was into child pornography … and so it goes on. Once she gets something into her mind, she becomes robotic. It is almost impossible then to change her mind. In the period I was with her, she sent emails containing false and malicious accusations of corruption and bribery to the Eastern Province Herald in an attempt to frame the man she was having an affair with just before she became involved with me. You know … the one who dumped her when his wife discovered the affair.

Yes, this woman is a problem. Yet, she is allowed to walk freely amongst us.

Now I was stuck with her. I could not even bring myself to have sex with her for the most part. I felt such an extreme repulsion towards her that I did not want to come near her physically (although I did on the odd occassion). I have never been with a woman for thirteen months and been so sexually inactive with her. Tells a story. Just like her first husband, I found myself rejecting her sexually. She became a thing to me once I discovered who she really was. I could not acknowledge her as a human being.

I witnessed in that time how her other two children ran away from her, when they saw her approaching them while in a mall with their father’s fiance. This happened twice … in front of my eyes. I found this very abnormal. When I asked them about it later, they told me that their mother could not control herself when she saw them with their father’s fiance. They were afraid that she would become violent … so they simply ran away and hid until she was gone.

Imagine growing up being constantly afraid, on edge and embarrassed of your mother’s behaviour like that. The poor children. The permanent psychological damage they had suffered by being exposed to her is concerning. Sickening.

The one thing closest and dearest to me – my daughter – was targetted by this evil person. She used very crude swear words in reference to my daughter. She did this because my daughter rejected her after she first physically attacked me. In return, Evil Anne began to victimise my daughter. Naturally my daughter was horrified and disgusted after Evil Anne first attacked me. The sight of my bruised and bloodied face was something my daughter should not have been subjected to. Being the peaceful and dignified people we were, such behaviour was animalistic for us. It is something we have never experienced before.

Evil Anne went on to physically assault me five times over the thirteen times we were together. I restrained myself from retaliating. All I did, was to defend myself as best I could. I had her arrested on the fourth occasion, but withdrew the charges because the police told me she belonged in a mental institution. She assaulted me again after that, believe it or not. It was a crazy world she lived in. It was beyond embarrassing to have meetings with clients with a swollen and purple eye….

It was a sick and crazy period in my life.

Things became so bad that I had to find alternative accommodation for my daughter. I simply could not expose her to Evil Anne. I basically had to choose between my unborn child and my eighteen year old daughter. I was caught between a rock and a hard place. The choice I made, was to ensure I would qualify for equal parental rights by supporting Evil Anne through the pregnancy up to three months after birth. That’s what I did. In the process, I had to break up my loving family home with my daughter. I had to ensure that I would be in a position to take my son away from her. For that reason, I temporarily chose my son over my daughter. He needed me most. I was severely traumatised when I realised how this woman had destroyed our happy family home within just a few months. My life lay around me … scattered into a million little pieces.

Evil Anne forced me to move house three times during that crazy thirteen month period. It was almost four times, but I decided to put my foot down when I realised how she was manipulating me. I was caught in her out of control and crazy existence.

Evil Anne was diagnosed with Bipolar 2 later in the year, based only on what she told the psychiatrist. The diagnosis would have been very different if I opted to share how her behaviour really was. I chose to remain silent, because I had to share a house with this crazy person. She also spent a week in a mental institution. I found myself wishing they would keep her there for a few months. Life was peaceful and uncomplicated while she was away. She had to return, unfortunately.

On 23 September 2010, Evil Anne made her first written threat that she would change my son’s name if I should break up with her.

On 24 September 2010, she wrote that I would never know my son.

Remember these threats. They would become horribly real later on.

A week after my son’s birth, we registered his name under my surname at the Department of Home Affairs. From that moment, Evil Anne could not legally change his surname without my consent … yet she later managed to do exactly that in a fraudulant manner. The Department of Home Affairs then advised me to open a case of fraud against her. This criminal would stop at nothing to deny my paternal rights and to distance me from my son. Even committing fraud was not beyond her.

On 21 April 2011, I finally managed to get rid of Evil Anne. My son was three months old. After spending thousands of rands on her relocation, she begged me five days later to come back to me. I bluntly refused. I was done with this crazy woman and her chaotic existence. There was no way I would ever bring her back into our lives again.

And so, ended the most crazy, destructive and chaotic thirteen months of my life.

I was looking forward to rebuilding my life after all the chaos and destruction.

Evil Anne had other plans. If I thought my life would go back to normal when I got rid of her, I was sadly mistaken. From then on, Evil Anne would regularly expose my son to unacceptable situations … block my contact with him … and deny my visitation rights.

***

Just five months after I had parted ways with Evil Anne, she again managed to reel in another poor married sod. It turned out that she was only financially abusing this poor guy and when he finaly realised it and tightened his purse strings, she ended their affair.

Thats Evil Anne for you.

You are probably wondering where the next married man was going to come from? Don’t worry, Evil Anne will not disappoint you. I was probably the only unmarried man she was involved with since the early 2000’s. Guess I should feel honoured….

My son was becoming very clingy when he was with me, while being tearful when he was with Evil Anne. Even at that young age, he felt more comfortable and at ease with me. Very telling. My daughter did the same thing when she was that age. Evil Anne reacted very strongly when she realised that a strong bond was forming between my son and I. She suddenly announced that I would see less of my son from then on, because he was becomming too attached to me. Just like that. Blunt and to the point, without any feeling.

Shock. Horror.

I could not comprehend how a mother could do something like that to her child.

If the roles were reversed, I would have been very happy to see that my child is happy and content in the presence of the other parent. Isn’t that what a good parent is all about? Not where Evil Anne is concerned.

At that time she confrmed in writing that her married boyfriend is looking after my son during the days while she is working long hours. Even though I begged her to rather allow me – his father – to look after him, she refused because she didn’t want him to become too attached to me. She said it just like that. I could not believe what I was hearing. What a good mother she is.

Lets’s fast forward a bit….

I told you Evil Anne would not disappoint.

Enter the next married man.

I learned about their relationship on 22 September 2012. To make a long story short, this guy’s wife found out about the affair … and my little boy suddenly found himself in the middle of total chaos … again created by Evil Anne. It was a very unpleasant situation and it carried on for quite a while. My son was directly exposed to some very nasty and unacceptable situations, which caused him much trauma.

When the dust finally settled and this dude eventually divorced his wife, things actually became quite pleasant between Evil Anne and I. This guy was a very good influence on her. He kept her sane and rational. I was very pleased. So pleased, that I begged her to never leave him.

But you know Evil Anne by now. Nothing can endure where she is involved. Everything has to be destroyed. She flourishes in chaos and destruction after all.

Let’s stop here for now, while we find ourselves in a rare feel good moment.

***

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***

How manifestation magically transformed my life.

At the start of 2014 my life was in shambles. I hit rock bottom and things were only getting worse by the day. My own decisions, choices and actions created my reality. I acknowledged that fact. I was probably my own worst enemy … something like a Mike Tyson. Like Iron Mike, I am a person blessed with many talents and the X-factor, yet I always found a way to trip myself up. If only I was able to focus, do what must be done and express myself through my many talents. All the good things in life would have followed automatically. I knew that. Instead, I was responsible for derailing myself with frustrating regularity. I think part of the problem was that I knew I possessed the power to achieve whatever I wanted to in surprisingly short periods of time. That knowledge made me careless, arrogant and nonchalant.

I had to accept that talent is of no use unless you actually put in the daily hard yards towards your goals. I needed to learn and accept to take care of the basics.

What astounded me was how the average blue collar worker could chip away daily for many years and end up in quite a comfortable situation in their forties or fifties. They simply committed to do the basics every single day. They chose a career … went to work every day … and chipped away at that same dull routine every single day for many years. Now that was something I had neglected to do. Committing to the basics over a period of time was a problem for me. Being stuck in a dull daily routine, wasn’t for me. I am a free spirit who lives life by my own rules. I could never commit to go to work … earn a steady salary … come home in traffic … only see my kids at night … eat … watch tv … go to sleep … repeat for many years.

For that reason, I have been flying solo since January 1994 when I founded my own architectural practice. The problem, however, remained that I struggled to work in a disciplined and structured manner. Work was something that interfered with other things I would rather be doing. I basically only worked when I really was forced to do so. Deadlines meant nothing to me. The result was that I was seen as a highly competent and gifted person, who was totally undependable and unreliable. As luck would have it, I could get away with my antics because some clients would rather put up with my nonsense than settle for someone with average abilities. I regularly heard comments, like:

“It is a struggle to get you working, but when you do, you are next level brilliant.”

or

“If I had your abilities, I would have been a multi-millionare by now.”

Yes, I knew I had the X-factor.

Yet, I was caught in a downhill spiral. I was simply not progressing in life as I should have been. I was my own worst enemy. It was a bit embarrassing at times.

The good thing was that my lack of progress in life, was not due to destructive habits, like alcohol or drug abuse. In fact, I have never been a smoker or a drinker. I never felt the need to experiment with drugs. I simply lacked that destructive gene. Smoking, drinking and drugs made zero sense to me. I also wasn’t into parties, clubs or bars. I was always the one who would be safely in bed by 10pm even on weekend nights. I preferred being snuggled up in bed with a book, than to be out at social gatherings after 10pm at night. Given all of this, I really had it all going for me … I simply had to get my shit together.

The one bad habit I did have, was to constantly associate myself with the wrong women. The choices I made in my desperation to find love, simply created lots of drama and destruction in my life. The financial implications and instability created by this bad habit, was cause for concern. I went in and out of relationships far too soon and far too often. When one was over, I simply moved on to the next one. There was always another one waiting for the opportunity to date me. I cannot remember that one woman ever left me … I left them all. Some of them, created chaos and destruction in my life.

Again, I was to blame.

I chose them. I associated myself with them.

I knew exactly what I wanted in a woman, but I simply wasn’t willing to wait patiently for my dream woman to walk into my life. Being single was not very appealing to me. Instead, I associated myself with the wrong women, which – inevitably – pushed the arrival of my dream woman away into the distance. Some of these women were very good and solid people, but I knew they were not what I was looking for … yet I still dated them … only to leave them heartbroken a few months later. Stupid, very stupid.

I was just asking for my life to go nowhere fast.

So by 2014, I began to understand that it was in my hands – and my hands only – to make the required changes in my life. I knew I had to change my daily rituals, mindset, decisions and actions if I wanted to see change. I knew my actions and daily rituals had to support the goals I had in life. For example, it was no use that I dreamt of having a certain type of woman by my side, but then I contradicted that dream by dating people who totally didn’t fit into that mould. How contradicitve….

I was sending out contradictive and confusing messages to the Universe.

I had to learn to line up my daily actions, rituals, thoughts and decisions with what I wanted to manifest or materialise in my life.

This was where my life became truly magical.

The first step was to acknowledge what was wrong in my life. I had to identify where I was and where I wanted to be … so I made a list. After a few days of thinking about my life and identifying what was wrong and where I wanted to be, I had compiled a good list, covering every area of my life.

Let me tell you the trick right here:

I knew what was wrong, but I didn’t focus on the negativity, i.e. what was wrong and why. I only focused on where I wanted to be in each of the departments that needed change. So I didn’t focus on this is wrong and that is wrong … all I did was to see myself where I wanted to be in each of those “broken” areas. I focused on the end result only.

From that moment onwards, 6pm to 7pm each day became my sacred manifestation time. I would exercise from 5pm to 6pm and then go for a walk from 6pm to 7pm (sometimes in bitterly cold and rainy conditions). As I was walking, I would repeat my wishlist (or orders) to the Universe … and then say thank you for them as if I had already received them. I would do this daily, without fail. I became so excited about the future I was creating in my mind for myself, that my walks would become brisk and energetic. I psyched myself up so much that I had a real spring in my step. By reinforcing and repeating my wishlist to the Universe every single day, it became ingrained in my mind and being. I lived my life in support of those lists.

What happened then was that the wishlist became so ingrained in my mind that I would be reminded of it when I was either about to do something contradicting a goal or when I recognised the opportunity to take a step towards that particular goal.

In addition to putting out my wishlist into the Universe, I also learned to express gratitude every single day. I expressed gratitude for even the smallest things, like being able to walk around the neighbourhood. Even during the worst days in my life, I learned to feel excited about something and to express gratitude for it.

Here is my first ever wishlist and the status of each goal:

Order #1: I earn an average of R50k per month.

Now, at that stage I was struggling financially. I was basically telling the Universe that I wanted to double my income. If you understand in what a deep and dark pit I found myself, you would appreciate how stupid this order to the Universe was. There was no immediate prospect for me to achieve this goal. I did not have the clients nor the projects to justify such an income. There was nothing in the pipeline to give me the idea that my income would increase as requested.

Yet, I put the order out there every afternoon on my walks … and I visualised how good life would be with that extra income. I felt how prosperous and easy our lives would be. It was such a great feeling to live so stress free.

I continued to place that order for about fifteen months, without seeing any drastic change in my income … yet I firmly believed I would get what I had requested from the Universe. The more time went by, the more firmly I believed the goal was about to come true.

Now, you must understand that I didn’t sit back and wait for the money to flow in. What I did was to do all the projects that came my way with a passion. I really made sure that my energy flowed into my work. When I worked, I worked hard and productively … and I always made sure that I did a great job, however small the project was.

And sure enough….

As time went by – relying only on word of mouth – I got more clients and more projects. My income got better and better … until I reached the average monthly income I had only been dreaming of up until then. From then on, R50k per month became very easy to achieve. Something that was so far away from reach became my new normal.

From then, I adapted that goal every year to a new previously unachieved average income. I have achieved every single one of those financial goals. Once I reached a new level of income, that income level suddenly became easy to achieve and maintain.

I did have some setbacks, however. In 2019, I suddenly had a very bad year after my best ever year by far in 2018. No matter how hard I worked and how focused I was, there simply was a block on my income. It was not happening. I was struggling.

You know what I did then?

Never once did I complain. I appreciated every cent that came my way, even though I was struggling. I appreciated every client and every project. I expressed my gratitude with absolute delight. I simply continued to visualise myself making even more money than ever before … every afternoon on my walks, without fail. I didn’t understand what was happening and it didn’t make any sense, but I never said one negative word. I did not complain. I did not ask why. I remained positive and believed without a doubt that once the drought had ended, I would prosper beyond my wildest imagination.

It happened exactly like that.

How magic is that?

Order #2: I own a second hand Audi A3 Sedan.

This was a ridiculous order to the Universe. I was struggling to pay the Peugeot 207 I was driving. I was not credit worthy. My income was so low that we could only look after our basic needs. I very often did not have petrol in my Peugeot, yet I ordered a luxury car from the Universe. How stupid and delusional is that?

Yet, I repeated that order every afternoon and saw myself looking down at those four rings on the steering wheel as I was driving my Audi. It felt so good. The sense of achievement gave me goosebumps. There was absolutely no way for me to understand or foresee how I could achieve this goal. There simply was no way … yet I believed it would happen.

In April 2017, the unimaginable happened.

At that stage, I had been visualising myself driving a second hand Audi A3 Sedan since 2014. Never once did I become frustrated or disappointed when it did not happen. I just knew it would happen.

What actually did happen, astounded me.

In April 2017, I bought a brand new Audi A3 Sedan. Not second hand … brand new. The latest model straight from the factory. I got so much more than I had dreamt of. It didn’t even cross my mind to order a brand new Audi at double the price, yet I got exactly that.

This taught me to never underestimate the power of the Universe. Never worry about how or when things will materialise. If you visualise something long enough … put in the required work … and never loose your faith, your dream WILL come true.

I had been visualising that car for three years … and when I finally got it, I got so much more than I ever imagined was possible.

What a moment.

How amazing is that?

Can you imagine how I felt when I saw my car?

This is an actual photo of my new car exactly as I first saw it. They didn’t have this car on the floor, so I didn’t even see it before that day. I had to pull the cover off myself to expose my new car. Can you imagine my sense of achievement after I had been visualising this car for three years?

It was like magic.

Order #3: I am a published author.

I had written numerous manuscripts up to that stage, but that’s all they were … manuscripts. They were rough and crude. Nowhere near publication standard. The moment I put out my order to the Universe to be a published author … and I reinforced that order every afternoon … I realised that I had to put in daily steps towards achieving that goal. It was never going to happen by itself.

Just like there was a dedicated time to work on my architectural projects and a time to exercise and a time to manifest, there had to be a dedicated time for writing. That’s what I did. I dedicated a certain time of each day for working on my books. I just kept chipping away every day … one little step forward every day. When the book was done, I edited it from the start to the end. Again and again. I refined that book for many months, even though I was anxious to get it out there. I kept on polishing it until I was happy with the final product.

The next step was to send my book away for professional editing, cover design and all the exhaustive steps required to get a book published. The big day finally came in late 2016 when I held my published book in my hands for the first time. It was like holding your new born baby for the first time. Something I had been working on for so long, had finally materialised. What a fantastic moment.

I had been visualising that moment for more than two years. I had been reinforcing my order to the Universe every afternoon. Never losing faith. Until that goosebump moment when I held the book in my hands. Again, I was surprised by the quality of the final product, which exceeded all expectations.

I was a published author.

I am a published author.

In all three of the above cases, I always got more than I had visualised. In each case, I got more or better than the actual order I had put out into to the Universe. It is notable how long some of these orders to the Universe took to materialise, but – when they did materialise – the result was spectacular. There is a lesson here. The lesson is that you cannot put a timeframe to achieving your goals. Just know you will achieve the goal when the time is right … if you do not become discouraged and impatient.

There were other orders to the Universe. All, but one, have materialized. The other one will too, when the time is right.

I asked for true and good quality friends. Exactly as I ordered, they slowly emerged and came into my life. Good and solid people who were there to stay. People who I am proud to call my friends … unlike the type with whom I had associated myself in the years before.

I also asked that I would attract my dream woman to me. Well, she has not yet arrived, but the three relationships I have had since 2014 were all with very high quality women. Women who would not just date anyone. These were women I would never have been able to date before 2014, because I was not on their level yet. The action I took in this regard, was to be content being single … and to stop dating just anyone for the sake of dating someone. I resolved that when I dated, it had to be someone with whom I really could see a future. I constantly worked on myself … bettering myself in every way … growing and polishing myself to become the man who my dream woman would be attracted to. I became very careful of with whom I associated myself with and on who I spent my time and energy. I became selfish with myself. I only gave my time and energy to women I really knew fitted the profile of my dream woman.

The beautiful thing was how I realised that I have grown as a person, as I dated each of these three women. I realised I had grown in stature. I had become someone who these high class women admired and loved deeply. Each one was better than the previous one. I am building up to the moment when I finally meet the perfect one for me. There is no timeframe. It will happen when we are ready to receive each other … when we are on the same frequency. We are finding our way to each other. I have been asking for this order from the Universe since 2014 and I can see in the type of women I am attracting into my life that I am getting closer and closer to the one I have been dreaming of.

Gone are the days where I allowed low character women into my life. The last woman I dated, in particular, was as close to perfect for me as is possible. This is how I know that my dream woman is close … very close. I am very excited every single day in anticipation of her arrival.

In 2014, I began to ask to be a successful blogger. I did nothing, but think about it. Yet, the blogging request remained on my wishlist day after day … year after year. I knew I wanted to do it, but I just didn’t feel the spark to actually get it off the ground. Then, suddenly, in May 2020 – while on lockdown due to the CoVid-19 pandemic – I suddenly found that spark in me. It suddenly jumped out at me and made me aware that the time is now. It happened so quickly … after six years on my wishlist. As I am writing this, I can now say that I have also achieved this goal. I am a blogger. Next will be to become a successful vlogger.

Another aspect of my life which has become magical is my career. I have been asking the Universe for high quality clients and projects since 2014 … and that is what I am getting. If I compare my client and project base now with that of 2014, I am astounded to realise how I have climbed the ladder. I am always in demand and always fully booked. I only get very good clients and projects. I am simply functioning on a different frequency in every facet of my life. Why? Because I have changed who I am. I have grown in every possible way.

See, it serves no purpose to ask for bigger and better things and then not be willing to grow and better yourself into a person worthy of those bigger and better things.

You attract what you are.

Simple.

My life has become truly magical. As I receive the orders placed to the Universe one by one, I replace them with new orders or new goals.

One of my biggest dreams was to finally complete my degree in architecture. I always put it off, because I felt too ashamed to go back to university and share a class with twenty-one year olds. Yet, this dream remained on my daily order list to the Universe … for six long years. Now let me tell you something magical:

I was hard at work one day in late 2019, when I suddenly received the awareness (out of nowhere) that I must apply for the completion of my degree at university. I stopped what I was doing and came into contact with the university. I received an email back from a lecturer in the architectural school on that very same day. He urged me to submit my online application before midnight on that same day if I wanted to be considered for the 2020 student intake. I ignored all thoughts of embarrassment and completed my online application then and there.

The bottom line was, that I got the awareness to contact the university on the very same day that the applications closed. How magical is that? On that very same day! If I waited another day, I would have missed the deadline for the 2020 intake and I would probably have put it off forever.

I was accepted. I was registered as a fulltime student in February 2020. At first, I was beyond nervous and filled with embarrassment at the thought of walking into a class filled with twenty-odd year olds. I am a fifty-four year old man. However, I did it. After two weeks, I was accepted by all the other students and I simply became one of them. Six months later and I am loving each lecture and my marks are excellent. Had this not been on my wishlist ever since 2014, I would not have registered as a full-time student this year. I am now only six months away from holding my degree in my hands.

See how important it is to never let go of that elusive goal? Things will happen when the time is right. Doors will open … you will meet the right people … you will feel the urge to do something. As if by magic that goal will materialise.

***

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