The alienation of my son, Sam (#003)


So now this woman fell pregant at the very time I was looking for ways to get her out of my life. I was a bit stuffed then, right? To be honest, I hoped she would opt for an abortion. Everyone else were also pushing for her to follow that route, including her parents, her kids and the other man she was flirting with behind my back. Yip, another one! Even I mentioned it to her. At first she agreed … but then she changed her mind. For once in her life, she made the correct decision by opting to keep the baby. Give credit where credit is due.

The one thing I made peace with when the news broke, was that I needed to be there for my unborn baby. I was man enough to make the baby … I had to be man enough to be a father for him/her. I made the decision then to support Evil Anne through the pregnancy. I committed to give her a roof over her head and take care of all her living costs and medical bills. I was open and honest about the fact that the agreement would only last up to three months after birth.

I was stuck with this woman for the time being.

I was going to have a baby with the worst possible candidate.

My life would never be the same again.

Yep, I dug that deep and dark hole myself … and for myself.

The sad thing was that my daughter also had to endure the chaos and destruction that followed. I will forever live in regret of that. I failed my daughter in her matric year. I brought this monster into our peaceful lives. I am the only one to blame. I was warned. I did not listen.

So, now I had to make peace with the fact that Evil Anne would remain part of my life for another ten months or so. I looked up to it. I really wanted her out of my life. What was I to do? The only thing I could do, was to own up to my responsibilities.

It was going to be a tough and insane ride.

I made peace that this too would end.

***

During the year, Evil Anne wrote numerous documents. To me, it appeared as if a twelve year old child was the author … such was her mentality. In it she summarised her life story. She described in horrific detail how her father and stepmother had alienated her and her sister from their biological mother. She wrote how they were brainwashed to believe that their mother was a bad person. The extreme measures her father and stepmother went to to prevent their mother from seeing them or building a relationship with them, was unfathomable. I could not believe what I was reading. It was discomforting to realise that evil people like those actually existed. It was something you only heard of on the news … but never actually encountered in real life. I felt sad for Evil Anne. She was robbed of a mother by the very people who supposedly loved her.

Evil Anne went on to describe that the alienation tactics employed by their father and stepmother were so effective that they truly believed their mother had rejected them at birth. The bottom line is that Evil Anne was robbed of a mother by her father’s evil actions. She never had the opportunity to have a normal relationship with her mother.

Evil Anne went on to tell that her father was a vicious and violent drunk, who regularly hit her until he drew blood. According to her, he displayed a lot of anger and rage. She tells that this guy abused them emotionally, physically and verbally … even calling her a whore when she was thirteen years old. Her stepmother was described as someone who physically abused her by biting her and scratching her as a twisted form of discipline.

On top of all of that, they also alienated her from her mother!

Little did I know that this woman was going to draw on these experiences to do the very same thing to my son Sam and I.

What I didn’t know at that stage, was that she already had her first trial run in parent / child alienation. It happened after her second divorce, when she callously coached her little childen to claim that her ex-husband had sexually molested them. This was done purely to alienate the kids from him, because they were too attached to him. After a few months, she made an u-turn and admitted that she had coached her children to make the false accusations against this poor guy. She then described her actions as “devil’s things.”

Can you imagine shamelessly abusing your children in this way?

Yes, we are dealing with pure evil here.

What is even more concerning, is that the government systems didn’t intervene by taking these poor children away from her. In fact, she learnt from her first alienation attempt that the South African Police Child Protection Services is a very willing and able partner in crime when you want to alienate a parent from his/her children. All you have to do, is speak the magic words, “This person sexually molested my children.” From that moment onwards, the SAPS Child Protection Services will assist you in your evil agenda. They will blindly believe you and they will assist you in keeping a loving parent away from his/her child. She learnt very quickly that if you speak the magic words, i.e: “he/she abused my child,” the onus then rests on the destraught and innocent parent to prove his/her innocence … a process that would take years and a fortune to achieve. By then the damage would have been done. What Evil Anne learnt very quickly after her first alienation of parent and child attempt, was that the South African Police Child Protection Services has an idiotic one-liner they use like parrots to justify their support for the criminal, which goes: “it is all about the best interest of the child.”

The South African Police Child Protection Services are incapable of clear thought processes. They will blindly believe you once you speak the magic words. They will become the perfect partner in crime for you as a criminal. They will asisst you in achieving successful child and parent alienation. They will threaten to arrest a desperate parent whose child has been ripped away from him/her if that parent dares to contact the child.

The South African Police Child Protection Services will not consider who is making the accusations. They will not look into your history. You can be as crazy as fuck … they will blindly believe you and assist you in your evil agenda. In the absence of any physical proof, they will still blindly believe the criminal and assist in the alienation of parent process. At the same time, they will go on regional radio and tell all the listeners what a great job they are doing in protecting children from offenders … while the truth is that they are actually assisting some offenders – like Evil Anne – in their evil agenda to alienate loving parents from their children.

All of this is done “in the best interest of the child.

Lifes are destroyed. Families are ripped apart. Parents and children are alienated from each other … all with the blessing and assistance of the SAPS Child Protection Services. If the innocent parent does not have lots of money to fight this injustice, the alienation will become the perfect crime….

You can already see where this story is heading, can’t you?

Yes indeed….

My horror story has just began.

Remember, at this stage, I only knew about the alienation from their mother by their father and stepmother. I did not know about what she had done to her second husband. I was only going to find this out much further down the line.

The contents of Evil Anne’s life story were truly shocking. In addition to the above, she also describes that she first attempted suicide in 1989. I read this with serious concern. She was obviously a very troubled person from very early on. I felt totally overwhelmed by the shady character of the people whom I had invited into our lives. These were the scum of the earth … and I was responsible for making them part of our lives. Now I was about to have a baby with someone like this….

I really could have picked a much better woman to have a baby with, couldn’t I?

Let’s be honest, we all have a story to tell. I also suffered under an abusive stepfather, but even he seems like a saint compared to these people.

Where did I go wrong in life?

How did I come to associate myself with white trash like this?

I was not going to hold Evil Anne’s past against her, because I knew from my own experience that everything I had endured as a child had turned me into a person who always strived to be better in every possible way as an adult. I used my own unhappy childhood as motivation to give my children the best possible circumstances and experiences. I was hoping Evil Anne would also use her unhappy childhood as motivation not to repeat the evil and vicious cycle. Unfortunately – being someone with a low and sly character – she rather chose to feed of her childhood experiences to fuel her own evil agenda as an adult. I did not quite realise this at that early stage….

I was slowly learning more about Evil Anne and her past. The more I learned, the more I became concerned … particularly because I could see that she was not capable of using her past to become a better person. In one of her writings, dated 13 July 2010, she decribes how she had an affair with (yet another) married man, while she was still married to her first husband. No wonder he sexually rejected her. Then she was the cause of breaking up yet another marriage by having an affair with the husband. Yet, she simply could not learn from her destructive habits. It continues to this very day.

Evil Anne also revealed how she had physically attacked almost every man she was ever involved with. Apart from this, she revealed her violent nature in general towards staff and other people who had the misfortune of dealing with her. Yet, in front of me, she appeared to be so timid and innocent … always playing the victim.

She wrote all of the above, by the way. I have it on black and white. It is not stuff I am dreaming up. It is the truth, as told by herself.

She also writes that she has a lot of anger and rage in her … and that she would regularly bang her head against the wall when she lost control.

A little bit too softly, I would say….

Sorry, I don’t mean to be insensitive or offensive.

Her trend of malicious accusations against other people – particularly her exes – was very noticable in her writings and the stories she told. Every single one of them was tagged with something negative. Her first husband became gay, because he sexually rejected her … even though he left her for another woman and has been with her ever since. My friend – whom also had the misfortune of dating her – also was branded as being gay. Andries (another ex) was into child pornography … and so it goes on. Once she gets something into her mind, she becomes robotic. It is almost impossible then to change her mind. In the period I was with her, she sent emails containing false and malicious accusations of corruption and bribery to the Eastern Province Herald in an attempt to frame the man she was having an affair with just before she became involved with me. You know … the one who dumped her when his wife discovered the affair.

Yes, this woman is a problem. Yet, she is allowed to walk freely amongst us.

Now I was stuck with her. I could not even bring myself to have sex with her for the most part. I felt such an extreme repulsion towards her that I did not want to come near her physically (although I did on the odd occassion). I have never been with a woman for thirteen months and been so sexually inactive with her. Tells a story. Just like her first husband, I found myself rejecting her sexually. She became a thing to me once I discovered who she really was. I could not acknowledge her as a human being.

I witnessed in that time how her other two children ran away from her, when they saw her approaching them while in a mall with their father’s fiance. This happened twice … in front of my eyes. I found this very abnormal. When I asked them about it later, they told me that their mother could not control herself when she saw them with their father’s fiance. They were afraid that she would become violent … so they simply ran away and hid until she was gone.

Imagine growing up being constantly afraid, on edge and embarrassed of your mother’s behaviour like that. The poor children. The permanent psychological damage they had suffered by being exposed to her is concerning. Sickening.

The one thing closest and dearest to me – my daughter – was targetted by this evil person. She used very crude swear words in reference to my daughter. She did this because my daughter rejected her after she first physically attacked me. In return, Evil Anne began to victimise my daughter. Naturally my daughter was horrified and disgusted after Evil Anne first attacked me. The sight of my bruised and bloodied face was something my daughter should not have been subjected to. Being the peaceful and dignified people we were, such behaviour was animalistic for us. It is something we have never experienced before.

Evil Anne went on to physically assault me five times over the thirteen times we were together. I restrained myself from retaliating. All I did, was to defend myself as best I could. I had her arrested on the fourth occasion, but withdrew the charges because the police told me she belonged in a mental institution. She assaulted me again after that, believe it or not. It was a crazy world she lived in. It was beyond embarrassing to have meetings with clients with a swollen and purple eye….

It was a sick and crazy period in my life.

Things became so bad that I had to find alternative accommodation for my daughter. I simply could not expose her to Evil Anne. I basically had to choose between my unborn child and my eighteen year old daughter. I was caught between a rock and a hard place. The choice I made, was to ensure I would qualify for equal parental rights by supporting Evil Anne through the pregnancy up to three months after birth. That’s what I did. In the process, I had to break up my loving family home with my daughter. I had to ensure that I would be in a position to take my son away from her. For that reason, I temporarily chose my son over my daughter. He needed me most. I was severely traumatised when I realised how this woman had destroyed our happy family home within just a few months. My life lay around me … scattered into a million little pieces.

Evil Anne forced me to move house three times during that crazy thirteen month period. It was almost four times, but I decided to put my foot down when I realised how she was manipulating me. I was caught in her out of control and crazy existence.

Evil Anne was diagnosed with Bipolar 2 later in the year, based only on what she told the psychiatrist. The diagnosis would have been very different if I opted to share how her behaviour really was. I chose to remain silent, because I had to share a house with this crazy person. She also spent a week in a mental institution. I found myself wishing they would keep her there for a few months. Life was peaceful and uncomplicated while she was away. She had to return, unfortunately.

On 23 September 2010, Evil Anne made her first written threat that she would change my son’s name if I should break up with her.

On 24 September 2010, she wrote that I would never know my son.

Remember these threats. They would become horribly real later on.

A week after my son’s birth, we registered his name under my surname at the Department of Home Affairs. From that moment, Evil Anne could not legally change his surname without my consent … yet she later managed to do exactly that in a fraudulant manner. The Department of Home Affairs then advised me to open a case of fraud against her. This criminal would stop at nothing to deny my paternal rights and to distance me from my son. Even committing fraud was not beyond her.

On 21 April 2011, I finally managed to get rid of Evil Anne. My son was three months old. After spending thousands of rands on her relocation, she begged me five days later to come back to me. I bluntly refused. I was done with this crazy woman and her chaotic existence. There was no way I would ever bring her back into our lives again.

And so, ended the most crazy, destructive and chaotic thirteen months of my life.

I was looking forward to rebuilding my life after all the chaos and destruction.

Evil Anne had other plans. If I thought my life would go back to normal when I got rid of her, I was sadly mistaken. From then on, Evil Anne would regularly expose my son to unacceptable situations … block my contact with him … and deny my visitation rights.

***

Just five months after I had parted ways with Evil Anne, she again managed to reel in another poor married sod. It turned out that she was only financially abusing this poor guy and when he finaly realised it and tightened his purse strings, she ended their affair.

Thats Evil Anne for you.

You are probably wondering where the next married man was going to come from? Don’t worry, Evil Anne will not disappoint you. I was probably the only unmarried man she was involved with since the early 2000’s. Guess I should feel honoured….

My son was becoming very clingy when he was with me, while being tearful when he was with Evil Anne. Even at that young age, he felt more comfortable and at ease with me. Very telling. My daughter did the same thing when she was that age. Evil Anne reacted very strongly when she realised that a strong bond was forming between my son and I. She suddenly announced that I would see less of my son from then on, because he was becomming too attached to me. Just like that. Blunt and to the point, without any feeling.

Shock. Horror.

I could not comprehend how a mother could do something like that to her child.

If the roles were reversed, I would have been very happy to see that my child is happy and content in the presence of the other parent. Isn’t that what a good parent is all about? Not where Evil Anne is concerned.

At that time she confrmed in writing that her married boyfriend is looking after my son during the days while she is working long hours. Even though I begged her to rather allow me – his father – to look after him, she refused because she didn’t want him to become too attached to me. She said it just like that. I could not believe what I was hearing. What a good mother she is.

Lets’s fast forward a bit….

I told you Evil Anne would not disappoint.

Enter the next married man.

I learned about their relationship on 22 September 2012. To make a long story short, this guy’s wife found out about the affair … and my little boy suddenly found himself in the middle of total chaos … again created by Evil Anne. It was a very unpleasant situation and it carried on for quite a while. My son was directly exposed to some very nasty and unacceptable situations, which caused him much trauma.

When the dust finally settled and this dude eventually divorced his wife, things actually became quite pleasant between Evil Anne and I. This guy was a very good influence on her. He kept her sane and rational. I was very pleased. So pleased, that I begged her to never leave him.

But you know Evil Anne by now. Nothing can endure where she is involved. Everything has to be destroyed. She flourishes in chaos and destruction after all.

Let’s stop here for now, while we find ourselves in a rare feel good moment.

***

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***

Published by Gerhard J. Loots

I am currently completing my Bachelor of Architectural Studies through Nelson Mandela University. I am the published author of Stuttering Joe - Part 1 (Growing up in Sunny Valley). I have also recently launched my blog, called Stuttering Joe, which is based on my true life experiences, personal growth and adventures.

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