The alienation of my son, Sam (#002)

Evil Anne had me completely fooled. We grew closer with each passing day. I really thought I had met the love of my life. Almost with each passing day, I learned more and more disturbing things about her … yet I was so taken by her that I just took them in my stride. I reasoned that we all had a history and baggage and that we must face our respective issues together as a couple. After all, that’s what love is all about, isn’t it?

One of the biggest issues to surface within just a few days after I had met her, was that she had recently lost her job and was about to be evicted from her apartment. She also had no money for day to day living expenses. I could not stand by and see her get kicked out on the street, right?


If only I did.

Little Jay and I lived in a big house with lots of space inside and out after all. It just felt right to invite her and her two children to move in with us until she was on her feet again. Yes, I know … I had only met this person a few days before. How stupid could a man be? Apparently I gave new meaning to the word stupid. I am the first to admit to that fact … but I was kind of forced into a corner, don’t you think? What else was I to do, in the absence of lots of spare cash to send her way?

The situation was such that we had no opportunity to date in the conventional manner. Our relationship did not have the chance to develop normally and to go through the normal phases. If we did have the opportunity to date properly, we would not have lasted long … and no harm would have been done. We did not have that luxury. My hand was forced. I had to invite her into our house.

Well, I didn’t have to … but I felt that was what I needed to do. I was in the position to help, so I did make the offer. With that decision, I invited total chaos, destruction and pure evil into our peaceful and loving household.

What I didn’t know was why this woman was in the position she found herself in. You see, what actually happened was that she had – yet again – been involved with a married man, whom had lured her from Pretoria to Port Elizabeth with a job proposal. He promised to leave his wife for her and that his new company would look after her financially. So, what she did was to simply abandon the job she had in Pretoria. She moved to Port Elizabeth without so much as a word to her employer. One day she went to work and the next she just didn’t pitch up. Yet, later in the same year, she cunningly would try to sue them for unfair dismissal. Yes, that’s the type of person we are dealing with here … a sly, deceitful and opportunistic character.

Everyone else are to blame for her decisions and the situations she puts herself in.

Shortly after this woman had moved to Port Elizabeth to be with the married man she was having an affair with, his wife found out about the affair … and all hell broke loose. Things became very chaotic, ugly and stressful in double quick time. The love triangle was exposed to the bone. The end result was that Evil Anne then lost both her job and her married lover. He simply turned his back on her and chose to stay with his wife, leaving her high and dry. Go figure.

There Evil Anne was – again – blaming all of the world for the mess she had created herself. The story of her life. The problem is that there will always be a sympathetic ear for people like these when their audience have no knowledge or understanding of their history and character. I was one such fool.

I was the unfortunate idiot who met her a few weeks later, while she was in this terrible, self-created, mess. Of course, I didn’t know then how things came to be as they were. Being a master manipulator, she used emotional blackmail on everyone who would listen, in order to evoke sympathy and support. I – for one – was horrified about the bad luck and raw deal she was dealt with. She seemed so cute, decent and sane. She convincingly portrayed herself as someone whom had fallen victim to unforseen and unplanned difficulties. She gave the impression it was an one time occurrence. We all have some bad luck sometimes, right? Like now with this virus, which had unexpectedly crippled the world. Little did I know what the true situation was.

So, then Evil Anne became my problem. She hopped from her married lover’s bed straight into my bed … and I was totally oblivious. At first she came across as being this highly religous angel. Man, she talked a good religious talk. Staying within God’s will by not having sex out of wedlock was a big thing for her. She was convinced that was the reason for all the bad luck and trouble she had experienced in her life. She slept around too much … so God was punishing her. That is truly what she believed.

How utterly delusional can you get?

Not once did it cross her mind that she put herself into negative situations, which then – predictively – blew up in her face. No, there had to be another delusional reason … like having sex. She was something of a town bicycle, but – again – I didn’t know all her intimate details at that stage.

Despite being someone whom wanted to live within God’s will, I was surprised when she initiated every one of our first sexual experiences. She said one thing and did the opposite. I never was one to make the first move with women. I always left it up to them to initiate intimacy when they were ready. Thus, when she told me sex was out of the question, because she wanted to live within God’s will, I respected her wishes. My intentions were pure. I simply didn’t make any sexual advances … only to soon discover that she simply could not control herself. She threw herself at me in the most random places, despite being verbal about wanting to live within God’s will. Evil Anne was one of those highly delusional religious people. I slowly had to work this out in time.

To be honest, I found it flattering that she could not resist me while she was making such a big deal about living within God’s will. It seemed kind of romantic and reinforced that we had something special between us.

Yes, I fell for this idiotic, delusional rubbish.

There really was no other option for Evil Anne than to move in with me. She was totally stuffed otherwise. I felt forced to invite her to move in … and she basically had no other option. It was a very forced situation. Within a day or two after we had agreed that she would move in with me, she sold all her furniture. I was stunned. I told her to rather store her furniture in my garage until she was sure that we would work out, but she felt she was showing her commitment to me by selling her furniture. On the one hand, I felt flattered and on the other the alarm bells were beginning to ring … very softly so, because I was still blind and deaf with love.

Later in the year, she would tell everyone who cared to listen that she was forced to sell her furniture to help me out financially. Just like that, I became the one to blame for yet another one of her self-created situations. At that stage, I didn’t know this was how she operated. She makes the decisions. She places herself into explosive situations. When it blows up in her face, she blames everyone else for the mess she had created. Should unfortunate people be forced to react or defend themselves, because they happened to be involved in the negative situations she had created, they became the evil enemy who was attacking her. Her poor, unsuspecting audience (like me, at first) believed every word. How should we know otherwise? Oh brother, was I going to learn….

So, just a week or two after we had met, Evil Anne moved in with me. Her intentions were to stay permanently. She made that very clear. Her two teenage children were shared between her and her ex husband.

It didn’t take long before Little Jay and I experienced something that was totally foreign to us. Doors were slammed … they screamed and shouted at each other … cellphones were thrown around … my furniture was damaged … Evil Anne was called a bitch and a whore by her daughter. She was told that they hated her. My possessions and the rules of my house was disrespected and disregarded. To them, this kind of behaviour was normal. To me, only under evolved human beings behaved in this way. I simply could not associate myself with their behaviour.

Little Jay and I could not believe what we were witnessing. We sat in stunned silence as the horrible reality about these people were revealed. They were everything we were not. We were shocked to our very core. I could not believe that I had actually invited people into our loving and peaceful home who behaved in this unaceptable manner.

I was dumbfounded.

The horrible reality was that I had placed myself and my daughter in a situation where we were actually sharing a house with people like these.

It was then that I became slightly worried. Too late, huh?

Soon, I discovered that Evil Anne did and said some very strange things. Abnormal things. She would wake me up a few times every night, then ask me to promise that I would never leave her, before she went to sleep again. She would email her ex-husband and confront him because he sexually rejected her during their marriage … which ended ten years before! She stated that was the reason she was crazy. So, now she was blaming her ex-husband for all her problems … ten years later! At that stage, I didn’t understand what she meant with her statement that she was crazy. Oh boy, was I going to find out the hard way.

Evil Anne painted her ex husband in such a bad light that I developed an immediate dislike in him, even though I had never met him. I thought he was the scum of the earth, based on what she was telling me. When I actually met the guy a few months later, I realised that he was just a normal, decent and solid chap, who was unfortunate enough to marry her. He was far removed from the scum she made him out to be. That was how utterly convincing she was. When you hear her convincing stories – being told with passionate conviction – you cannot help but to believe her and side with her. She did the same to each of her ex boyfriends. Each one were painted in a negative light. I am sure her latest boyfriend also thinks I am the scum of the earth. The poor sod….

Somebody, please warn the poor dude.

Depression was something I did not know anything about. I had never encountered it and I had no clue what it was all about. I am naturally a very positive and optimistic person and I never focus on negativity. To me, depression was simply a negative mindset. I believed it could be turned around completely. The focus had to shift from negativity to positivity. As simple as that. I didn’t understand the sickness and it didn’t make any sense to me. I told her in that I would teach her to adopt a positive approach to life. Of course, that would never happen.

It was shocking to see how she slept through her days. She locked herself in a bedroom and just disappeared for a few hours at a time. I couldn’t understand her behaviour, but I didn’t put any pressure on her. All of this was new to me. I was slowly figuring her out. At that early stage, I began to realise that things were not as I expected or would have preferred them to be. It seemed as if more and more challenges were being thrown at me with each passing day. It also became very obvious that she was about to become a very heavy burden on me. She was basically a useless, walking zombie.

The next challenge was to come … and it was a nasty one. My brother and his wife teamed up with my ex wife to harass and terrorize Evil Anne and I. I cannot even remember all the details, because I just ignored them … but they were out to get us and to make life as uncomfortable for us as possible. Very soon, my ex wife demanded that I vacated the house, because I had a woman staying with me. I was renting the house, with a legal contract and my rent was up to date … but this was how irrational these people became. My ex wife still saw me as her dream man … and was hoping I would eventually take her back. The fact that I had a new woman staying with me in her house, didn’t fit in with her secret plans for us.

Crazy stuff happened ever since I met this woman.

Lots of unpleasant things and lots of challenges.

Most of you would have fled by this stage.

Not this super idiot.

I convinced myself that I was in it for the long run. Evil Anne romanticised all the attacks on us by telling me that it is written in the Bible that the most beautiful union (or whatever nonsense) would get tested and attacked by the evil forces. She said that we were being tested to see if we deserved one another. She was big on Joyce Meyer and regularly used whatever Joyce Meyer had said to justify how we should deal with the evil attacks on us.

I fucking kid you not! Best part is, I fell for all this shit.

I truly fell for this crazy delusional shit.

I bow my head in shame.

They say love is blind. My photo probably now appears next to that statement wherever it appears. I became the face for the “love is blind” movement.

Her next delusional story was that God had told her that I would be the last man in her life. I would be the man who would be at her side to the end. She also said that if I should leave her, she won’t ever be with another man. All of this sounds very romantic when you really want it to be true. But even I was getting concerned with all the delusional talk. Our lives had become somewhat crazy, unpleasant and complicated since Evil Anne and her kids came into our lives. Having no other option, I told Little Jay that we must educate these people to become better quality people. I told her that they didn’t have the same background and level of decency as us … and that we must try to uplift them. They were simply not used to anything better than what they displayed in their behaviour.

I realised very soon that Evil Anne was still in contact with other men. When I confronted her about it, she threw herself sexually at me and had sex with me for the first time. The truth is that she rolled me on my back and had her way with me. I just lay there and allowed her do what she wanted to do. I could not fathom what was happening. I am not saying I didn’t enjoy it. Of course, I did. From that day, the story went that she had sex with me against her wishes, because I was insecure. As is her way, I became the sexual predator whom seduced her and had sex with her against her wishes. See how this woman operates? Scary shit. But I was still learning … still figuring her out at that stage. I was still deeply in love, despite all the chaos and attacks and crazy things that were happening.

By bringing Evil Anne into our lives and into our home, she demanded that I also take over all her financial needs. A roof over her head and a beautiful house to live in with plenty of food to eat, just was not enough for her. She wanted it all. I had to take over all her debts and look after her financially. Now, I didn’t quite sign up for all of that. I was making enough money at that time to look well after Little Jay and I … but not enough money to also cover for Evil Anne and all her financial responsibilities. When I told her that I didn’t have enough money to take over all her expenses, she played the depression card on me. I was then blamed for dumping her into depression. I was causing her stress, which triggered her depression. To keep her stress-free and thus depression free, I had to take over all her financial responsibilities.

You know what this idiot (me) did then?

I paid all her financial repsonsibilities and neglected my own….

Yes, that’s what I did.

I didn’t pay my car. I didn’t pay my rent. The list goes on.

I did all of this in an effort to keep Evil Anne from falling into depression.

How fucking crazy is that?

The stress and pressure and craziness were just getting worse by the day.

At this time, I began to witness how Evil Anne used her children to emotionally blackmail her ex husband to get money. All of her stories were untrue. When this dude did give her money, she would spent it very quickly on luxuries, like dining out. I was beginning to catch on how crazy and manipulative her existence was. I didn’t like what I was discovering. The next thing she threw at me was to pressure me into moving away from the lovely house we were staying in. Her kids wanted to stay in Port Elizabeth … not on the outskirts of it. Little Jay and I was very happy in that house. It was a lovely house and an idylic setting, yet this woman just walked into our lives and went all out to cause chaos, instability and disruption.

My feelings were beginning to fade. I realised I had a huge problem on my hands. I realised that she appeared normal and cute … but that she was only a shell of a human being. She was empty from within. She could not be reasoned with. She had no capacity to think in a clear and logical manner. It was then that I realised that I had lost all feelings for her.

I wanted out.

I wanted to get rid of her. I wanted another man to take her off my hands.

Then the worst thing imaginable happened, just when I was making constructive plans to get rid of this dead load around my neck.

She fell pregnant.


A new post about my adventures, life experiences and travels will be posted every Sunday.

A new post about the true life horror story – The alienation of my son, Sam – will be posted every Wednesday.

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Published by Gerhard J. Loots

I am currently completing my Bachelor of Architectural Studies through Nelson Mandela University. I am the published author of Stuttering Joe - Part 1 (Growing up in Sunny Valley). I have also recently launched my blog, called Stuttering Joe, which is based on my true life experiences, personal growth and adventures.

2 thoughts on “The alienation of my son, Sam (#002)

  1. Wow! What an incredible but also horrible, manipulative and incredibly tough journey you had to endure, all for simply trusting and trying to offer honest help and kindness to another human!!!


  2. Sad and horrific. At some stage in all our lives we endured the wrath of an Evil Anne. The trick here is to practice delayed gratification. To have patience, trust oneself and trust the process, things will unveil in time. Whats the Rush. 😉


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